Perhaps the unelected 2022 Conservative government’s most surprising achievement has been to radicalise the the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds. Flask-swiggers best known for shivering silently in freezing hides, usually they await the seasonal arrival of a particular kind of swan. But Kwasi Kwarteng’s kamikwasi budget has made landscape and wildlife collateral damage for his deregulated New Investment Zones, the Japanese knotweed of ultra-Conservative economic ideology, and the twitchers are twitching with rage.

“We are angry!” squawked the normally placid RSPB, in an urgent communique entitled Stop the Attack on Nature. “The UK government has launched an unprecedented attack on nature. They are threatening to tear up the laws that protect our best wildlife sites, weakening protections for nature in the planning system and may be about to scrap vital proposals that would help farmers help nature. We will not stand by and let this happen.” Take to the streets bird-fans. Riot! And remember, a tube of birdfeeder nuts squeezed into a tied-off sock can make a functional cosh, while a barn-style bird-table roof can be adapted into truncheon-resistant headgear. Twitchers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your choughs.

The RSPB revolution wasn’t on my Liz Truss Disaster Bingo Card. To be fair, neither was the instant collapse of the economy. But the RSPB aren’t the only nature-friendly nerds fearing the Conservatives. Follow my trail of seeds, little birds. On Monday night, a decade late, the cowed BBC’s Radio 4 documentary The Other Black Door belatedly identified how the opaquely funded “thinktanks” in and around Tufton Street have facilitated Britain’s excursion into the foothills of fascism. At last!

But the next morning it was back to business as usual at the Balanced Broadcasting Corporation. Julian Jessop, of the tobacco- and oil-funded Tufton Street charity the Institute of Economic Affairs, was invited on to the rarely adequate Today programme for a typically accommodating chat with Justin Webb, defending the new mini-budget, before being given a slice of cake and a happy ending by the team on the way out. Excuse my French, but plus ça fucking change! In August, Ofcom declared LBC gobshite James O’Brien was justified in describing the IEA as a politically motivated lobbying organisation funded by “dark money”. Its punishment? Licence fee-funded airtime.

Basically, the more bland the name of a “Tufton Street” outfit the more evil it is. Of the following 15 Tufton Street organisations only seven are real: the Taxpayers’ Alliance; the Adam Smith Institute; the Sensible People’s Organisation; Leave Means Leave; the Imperial Legacy Forum; the Global Warming Policy Foundation; Brexit Central; the Plausibility Trust; the Centre for Policy Studies; the Racial Implementation Commission; Ignite!; the Institute for Economic Affairs; the European Strategy Pergola; Operation Mindfuck; and the Fanny Quint Content Discharge. I’m not telling you which are the fakes. You’ll have to use Google, like the BBC should before it books yet another neoliberal mouthpiece for balance, the twats.

The revolting pheasants of the RSPB are now sure to be in Tufton Street’s sights, and the National Trust already is. As explained here before, a shadowy syndicate called Restore Trust intends to de-wokeify the dangerously radical cake-and-countryside organisation by manoeuvring its own indistinct blandidates into power via board elections in this November’s National Trust AGM. Restore Trust backer Neil Record funds the Tufton Street charity Global Warming Policy Foundation. Handing the management of vast tracts of land to Record’s place-people would be like leaving Iain Duncan Smith in a room full of noses and telling him to take his pick.

“But what do we have to fear from the Global Warming Policy Foundation, Stew?” I hear you cry. “It sounds nice!” Well, the Tufton Street charity the Global Warming Policy Foundation has been investigated by the Charity Commission. It promotes climate change denial. In 2021, it launched a non-charitable arm, Net Zero Watch, which called for Cop26 to be cancelled and aims to discredit our commitment to carbon reduction. Local activists such as High Wycombe’s Steve Baker Watch have tried to put pressure on its prominent supporters, such as Wycombe MP Steve Baker, and the mpwatch.org group aims to monitor the activities of parliamentary climate change deniers. But the GWPF has big business board members too, such as Jerome Booth, the chairman of New Sparta films, who financed The Limehouse Golem, The Killing of a Sacred Deer and the poor-quality western Brimstone. What would the stars of New Sparta films, such as Toby Jones, Guy Pearce, Drew Barrymore, Bill Nighy and Nicole Kidman, think of their backer’s commitment to ending all life on Earth as soon as possible? Kidman, surely, would do a mouth sick. Jones would put on a jazz record and cry.

Just as the Bank of England intervened to protect the economy from the Conservatives, so environmental charities, pressure groups and the public have to intervene to save our flora and fauna from certain death at the hands of the current government and their Tufton Street masters. Take to the streets to demonstrate these days and the perfect storm of the new Police, Crime, Sentencing and Courts Act, and the landslip collapse of the justice system, means you could spend 18 months on remand for an offence you are ultimately cleared of, though those currently trapped in this legal limbo will soon be looked upon as heroes. But we can still take up our pens. Join the RSPB and do whatever they say is necessary to save the country from the Truss government. Thwart Restore Trust by joining the National Trust by 28 October, and voting against them in November’s AGM. Help MP Watch hold the Tufton Street climate change deniers to account. They can’t arrest all of us. Or can they?

In this episode, Louis speaks to comedian, writer and 41st best stand-up ever, Stewart Lee.

Stewart tells Louis about taking aim at “Netflix comedians” in his new show, Stewart Lee vs. The Man-Wulf, what went wrong at a disastrous gig at the Royal Albert Hall, and what Elon Musk doesn't understand about comedy.

Philosophers delight in the concept of Schrödinger’s cat, a cat that is both inside a box and outside a box at the same time. (Ironically, the somewhat scatty Erwin Schrödinger himself had forgotten that he owned two identical cats, one of which liked boxes while the other hated them, explaining his confusion.) One day, philosophers will also discuss the idea of Schrödinger’s Rwanda: a place at once so awful that the very thought of being deported there will deter asylum seekers from crossing the Channel and yet simultaneously so brilliant that asylum seekers should be delighted to be sent there with no possibility of ever coming back to the UK. The human traffickers who send people across the Channel are despicable. And so their victims, many of them already having enjoyed torture and abuse at home, must be further punished by being deported to Rwanda. It’s an illogicality that Alice in Wonderland would have seen through in an instant. And so did the European court of human rights. Off with their heads!

It’s very early on a Thursday morning and I am still tapping away, alone with black coffee and toast. Reality is kaleidoscoping. I could have filed this week’s so-called “funny column” ™ ® at midday yesterday, 18 hours ago, as I have every right so to do. But I fell asleep listening to Priti Patel dissembling on Rwanda, following prime minister’s questions at lunchtime, after she was trapped in a net made of hard facts and human decency by her opposite number, Yvette Cooper. Nyaaagh! It burns! It burns!! I’m melting!!!

The home secretary was as boring and repetitive, and yet oddly relaxing, as the short cycle of diaphanous library music they pipe in to soundtrack the jellyfish display at the Sea Life Aquarium. But Priti’s Theme was written entirely in Black Sabbath Tony Iommi tritones and played by ghouls on xylophones made from the ribcages of the Kabul embassy dead. I woke up halfway through and thought I had died and gone to hell. No brimstone. No fire. Just listening to tape recordings of Patel while standing waist deep in a lake of coffee. For ever. Could be worse. And then a bell rings and the devil shouts: “All right lads, coffee break’s over. Back on your heads!” I’m here all week! Try the chicken igisafuria!! Don’t forget to tip your Private Security Contractor!!! Their focus is on treating the people in their care with dignity and respect and they are confident that their officers have acted professionally!!!!

It was lucky I didn’t submit today’s “comedy” early, as a lot has happened since lunchtime: the EU has begun legal action against the UK over our criminal abandonment of the Northern Ireland protocol; our prime minister has confirmed that he is considering withdrawing Britain, like our economic and kleptocratic soulmate Russia, from the European court of human rights; and the prime minister’s ethics adviser, the pork belly windsock known as Lord Geidt, realised his time was up and quit his post, having at last grown a vestigial tail (to call it a spine would be generous).

Geidt finally agreed that Johnson’s, and his cronies’, wine and Abba antics may have broken the ministerial code or at the very least a child’s garden swing. Suddenly, an afternoon is a long time in politics. Hopefully, Johnson will manage to soldier on bravely without someone to advise him on ethics. It would be awful if, without a moral mentor, Johnson were to suddenly find himself lying, cheating and repeatedly breaking international law.

Under normal circumstances, any one of these bombshells would have blown up the news cycle and made my columnist job easy. Roll out the barrel and hand me the blunderbuss! These fish are toast!! But this kind of chaos seems calculated. Numerous event-shits are tossed by hand into the news-fans from different angles and critical onlookers are too busy dodging the foul splatterings to remember Partygate and the missing billions the Brexit government has funnelled through the pandemic into the pockets of friends and donors. Look! Over there!! Our old enemy Europe!!! With its snails and its sauerkraut and its “human rights”.

On Monday, future city square statue subject and stained-glass windowed national saint-in-waiting Carole Cadwalladr survived legal persecution by Leave.EU’s Arron Banks. More links between Russia and the desirously destabilising goal of Brexit were highlighted. But even this didn’t really register in the wider news-scape. What’s a soupçon of Russian influence between friends? It’s not like Banks was flying back drunk from private parties at the villa of the subsequently Johnson-ennobled son of a KGB agent. Is distracting from this sort of thing just what the Rwandan deportation programme is for? Fly, my pretties, fly!

The deportation flight to Rwanda was always a win-win situation for the Brexit government, whether it left the tarmac or not. Schrödinger’s cat gives us Schrödinger’s Rwanda, which in turn gives us Schrödinger’s Dead Cat, a policy that succeeds even if it fails. If the asylum seekers were shipped out illegally, that plays well to the worst aspects of the Brexit government’s base. And if they weren’t, that gives the Brexit government, the comforts of the EU suddenly looking dangerously desirable, another range of Orwellian enemies – do-gooding lawyers, lefty charity activists, European “late-night” judges and the very idea of “human rights” itself.

The pockets of protesters currently engaged in street battles against police officers forced to carry out snatch raids on immigrants are a last line of defence against a Home Office that cannot be trusted to act ethically. Your children study the rise of Hitler in history and are asked how the people of 30s Germany allowed their country to slide into fascism. Well, now we can tell them. Kids, look out of the classroom window. It was like this...

Punk Rock Ist Nicht Tot is a career-spanning compilation album by hugely prolific Godfather of the Kent punk and garage rock scene, Billy Childish. Contains songs from his work with The Pop Rivets, The Milkshakes, Thee Mighty Caesars, The Delmonas, Thee Headcoates and more. Sleeve notes by Stewart Lee.
More Info on the release here.

Here’s a field guide to the many faces of Billy Childish. by Stewart Lee

From 1977 to 1980 The Pop Rivets played contemporary sounding primitive punk, Childish alongside Bruce Brand on guitar, and then on drums, who was to stay at his side until the end of the century; from 1980 to 1984 The Milkshakes mined the sound of exactly Hamburg 1961. The later, stomping garage anthem ‘I’m Out Of Control’ (included here), could have been written by the Sonics, The Wailers or the The Kinks and their British beat buddies, just as the first solar flares of psychedelia started to singe their fringes; from 1985 to 1989.

Thee Mighty Caesars evidenced an even simpler, earlier, and much messier take on the garage sound than The Milkshakes, with Childish starting to find a way of incorporating the sort of stanzas, which while reflective of the raw confessionals of his writing, still swung like song lyrics should. Whilst still sonically rooted somewhere around the mid-sixties, Thee Headcoats’ twelve year reign, from 1989 to 2000, seemed to allow a playful Childish freedom to indulge a variety of whims. While previous projects had seen him channeling existing garage punk forms, Thee Headcoats used these structures to service his own distinctive vision, his musical apprenticeship now complete, Childish having learned guitar on the job.

If the Bo Diddley licks of Thee Headcoats phase sounded like they emanated from the delta of the Mississippi, then the idiom and sensibility of Thee Headcoats’ songs was leaking demonstrably from the delta of the Medway. Clad in Deerstalkers in honor of the Twickenham ‘60s beat group The Downliners Sect, with whom they were to collaborate, and unduly fixated on Sherlock Holmes ephemera, Thee Headcoats found Childish finally fusing a distinctly English take on an American music, and lionised by American grunge era Sub Pop groups, luminaries for whom he represented a disappearing authenticity, occasionally sighted through the Seattle tree line, a sonic sasquatch.

Meanwhile, Childish has always had an interest in Native American culture, and to me Thee Headcoatees, the female-fronted version of Thee Headcoats that allowed Childish to foreground songs more suited to a feminine perspective, casts him as a kind of Chatham berdache. This Zuni man-woman shaman was charged with maintaining a fluid gender identity in an act of cosmic balancing, and Childish uses Thee Headcoatees as a way of undergoing a kind of musical gender-reassignment. Subsequent distaff Childish combos, The Buffets and The Shall-I-Say-Quois maintained this idea, Headcoatee Holly Golightly would go on to record abrasive duets with childish, and a snatch of Kyra Rubella’s solo work, backed by Childish’s band, is included here too.

As he entered the new century, and nudged into his forties, Childish’s best musical work was still ahead of him, an astounding state of affairs given rock musicians’ usual descent into irrelevance and nostalgia. The Buff Medways, active from 2000 to 2005, saw Childish hook up with a new rhythm section and don cavalry twill to form a tight trio in thrall to the sound of the Soho beat scene speakeasies of late 1966
and early 1967, no earlier, and no later. The decadence of psychedelia was eschewed, but live covers of Hendrix’s ‘Fire’ and The Who’s ‘A Quick One, While He’s Away’ sat comfortably on-top of a whirlwind of windmilling drums and bass.

With wife and latter Buff Medways bassist Nurse Julie on board Childish essayed an authentic sounding Medway Delta Americana with The Chatham Singers, field recordings drawn from a parallel world where Alan Lomax and Shirley Collins traced the roots of the blues to 19th century Kent, and discovered its last living exponent breaking rocks in Chatham docks. Anticipating the anxieties of national identity that now divide England, Childish moved a decade forward from the chosen musical milieu of The Buff Medways to spend 2007 and 2008 fronting The Musicians Of The British Empire. The group snagged Victorian military regalia to sneer satirical state of the nation songs, and allow Childish to recall the mood of the mid-Seventies that shaped him, over textbook 1976/77 punk riffs.

The short-lived Vermin Poets side-project morphed into The Spartan Dreggs, active from 2011 to 2014, which saw Childish switch to bass and surrender guitar and vocals to The Fire Dept’s Neil Palmer. The group’s recordings see the set texts of the poetry course at a 1950s liberal arts university, or an experimental private school, set to the sound of a trebly ‘60s folk rock band fed into the garage punk grinder, and they are a highpoint in Childish’s catalogue.

Where much of his music fills me with a virulent, if invigorating, anxiety, The Spartan Dreggs somehow touched the sublime and make me turn my face toward heaven. Childish’s current project reflects a man at peace with his past, and could almost be described as an act of time travel. CTMF, or The Chatham Forts, was the name Childish chose for his first band, back in 1976, but the proposed members never got around to rehearsing or sourcing a drum kit. In 2013

Childish and his current collaborators revived the spirit, if not the original intended line-up, of CTMF, unused lyrics he had jotted down thirty-seven years previously, many of them relating to Chatham’s local history, forming the basis of the new group’s first album. An ongoing concern, this flexible trio touch bass with all the different stylistic phases of Childish’s career, and their most recent album, Brand New Cage, features a forty year old photo of a vacantly furious young Billy, his face scarred with acne and razorblades, while inside this elder statesman of outsider art, flanked by long term drummer Wolf and his wife and co-worker Julie, stares up at the camera, now unassailable. In ‘A Song For Kylie Minogue’ Childish even appears to make peace with his own reputation, accommodating, rather than resenting, the praise and adulation of the art and music superstars who cite him as an influence, hatchets and bitten hands well and truly buried.

Few artists of such wildly independent spirit live long enough to achieve this kind of equilibrium.

Stewart Lee, writer/clown, Stoke Newington, October 2018

The Flash is a book put together to raise funds for Amnesty International.

There are 100 stories from 100 different writers.

Stewart has a short story in this collection.

The actor and pop singer Laurence Fox achieved peak Laurence Fox this month after explaining racism to a black female academic, photographing carrots sarcastically, doubting the existence of some Sikhs, fraternising with the Cumming-trumpets of the Today programme, and warning women under 35 of all races that he would withhold the bounty of his coveted white penis from their hungry vaginas unless they held their disagreeable tongues, even if they got on their knees and begged.

Fox has been described, often unfairly, as many things in the past two weeks: a brave freedom fighter, a musician, a privileged white male, an actor, a denier of Sikhs, and a teller of uncomfortable truths to a world where “the light has been turned down on the age of reason”, though admittedly by Fox himself. But Fox may be about to be best known to millions in his new role as the Earthman warrior-poet Fox Gardener, the Minstrel of Gor.

In 2012, I wrote a piece for the Quietus, reappraising the sword and sorcery pulps of the 30s, such as RE Howard’s enduring Conan the Barbarian, CL Moore’s forgotten feminist Jirel the Swordswoman, and PG Wodehouse’s prophetic Jolyon the Beastslayer, about a wealthy London lawyer who is transported to feudal Japan, where he must wear a kimono and club oriental mammals to death with his 20th-century sport bat.

Consequently, I am now lazy producers’ go-to writer for doomed cinematic reboots of fictional barbarians, their rights available via drunken neglect or legal intimidation. “Is your client familiar with John Norman’s Minstrel of Gor?”, my baffled agent was asked.

During a three-day brainstorming session with the producers in a Soho hotel room earlier this week, I explained that Norman’s 35-volume series of Gor novels debuted in 1966 with Tarnsman of Gor, and follows the adventures of displaced British professor Tarl Cabot, on the distant planet of Gor. The streets of its capital, Ars, are arranged around a foul-smelling tree trunk with oracular properties, The Telling Pole, and fruits and vegetables are satirised.

Gor differs from the world of Edgar Rice Burroughs’s 1912 A Princess of Mars, which inspired it, as all Gor’s women are pliant sex slaves who accept their role as the silent Play-Doh™® of men. Author John Norman, a philosophy professor who wrung the soiled underwear of his fiction though a Nietzschean knicker-mangle, lost his contract with DAW Books at the turn of the century, perhaps at the hands of the one foe even Tarl Cabot could not defeat – the so-called “politically correct brigade”.

Earlier attempts to film Norman’s politically in-correct fantasies failed. 1987’s Gor featured Playmate of the Month Rebecca Ferratti in a shrew-skin bikini, and Oliver Reed as Sarm, an evil epicure so jaded the endless cavorting of the slave girls of Gor could not tear him from his mead goblet, Reed perhaps remembering better times when he made an elephant walk to Innsbruck.

The unpublished Minstrel of Gor should have been the series’ 10th instalment, falling between 1975’s Castrati of Gor and 1976’s Charcutiers of Gor, but was withdrawn due to the rage of Canadian progressive rock band Rush. Lyricist Neil Peart accused Norman of plagiarising their similarly Ayn Rand-inspired 2112 album, in graffiti sprayed on to the writer’s pet capybara, Friedrich, written in fictional Gorean runes, painstakingly invented by vocalist Geddy Lee out of his own head.

In Minstrel of Gor, Fox Gardener, a former hippy songwriter who has become disillusioned with the insipid “Canyon Grove” scene and its innate liberal hypocrisy, finds himself transported to Gor. Here his anti-trade union power ballads become tools in the culture war between the desert-dwelling Goreans and the snowflake-worshipping Observers of the High Ground, who tolerate women’s voices.

My potential employers had originally wanted to adapt 1977’s Slave Girl of Gor, in which an attractive ’70s campus feminist poet, Judy Thornbush, wakes up chained to a rock on Gor and begins the brutal process of learning her place, at the hands of unfeeling barbarians for whom Shulamith Firestone’s seminal The Dialectic of Sex : The Case for Feminist Revolution isn’t really a thing. But the rights for Minstrel of Gor were available at half the price and all the books are basically the same anyway.

All through our three-day session, the producers checked and rechecked their Facebook updates and Twitter feeds, trying to game the zeitgeist, and the haunting omnipresence of Laurence Fox filled the room like a cloud of yellow steam rising from a hot urinal trough. But with a man’s laughing face.

Fox’s media saturation proved the politically correct concerns that had forced Norman to tinkle his later Gor novels into the toilet of e-publishing were undeniably in retreat. The time had come to find an actor to embody Norman’s once-unmarketable philosophy of compassion-free power and the privilege of birthright.

Norman himself had imagined Minstrel of Gor’s titular hero as the hard rocker Ted Nugent, and had compared Gardener to him in the novel (“Gardener came out of the rectangular door. He looked quite like Ted Nugent from music.” Minstrel of Gor, page 56). But Nugent was now 71 and the sentiments of his best song, Jailbait, while chiming with the Gorean worldview, spooked investors. Who was our Minstrel of Gor? Newsfeeds fizzed and Twitter twatted. The answer was staring us in the face.

Furious online snowflakes predicted Fox’s Sikh-denying ejaculations would end his acting career. But Minstrel of Gor might yet make Fox, who may yet agree to star, an unlikely action hero of the calibre of Rick Hill, Eric Allan Kramer, or Manis from Every Which Way But Loose. My employers drank wine over dinner, and spoke of Paweł Pawlikowski’s Cold War and the Macedonian beekeeping drama Honeyland. But they saw dollars floating on the turning tide. We are, as someone once said, beyond good and evil.

It is also an endurance test and pedal-marathon in which Andrew Kötting (the filmmaker) and Iain Sinclair (the writer) pedal a swan-shaped pedalo from the seaside in Hastings to Hackney in London, via the English inland waterways.

With a nod to Herzog’s Fitzcarraldo and a pinch of Dada, Swandown documents their epic journey, on which they are joined by invited guests including comedian Stewart Lee, writer Alan Moore and actor Dudley Sutton.

The package is a double disc set containing both a DVD & a Blu Ray of the film

On Wednesday, Dominic Raab, the Minister for Paddleboarding While Kabul Burns, mocked the Labour deputy leader for attending Glyndebourne while railway workers picketed. Who did Angela Rayner think she was? Pick up your stepladder, get back in your slum and eat your fried offal, peasant. “No opera for you!” Raab even winked at Rayner before he delivered the standard “champagne socialist” slapdown, the James Bond assassin-playboy of his own wet dreams, the corridors of power still spaffed with wine-time spatterings. Wasn’t there a dogfight somewhere that Rayner should be betting on? Or a cockroach race in a Victorian pub backroom? Shouldn’t her sort be roaming the streets gathering excrement with her bare hands to tan leather? At least this time the Tories weren’t speculating about the colour of her pubic hair. Progress.

Tories don’t get the arts. In 2015, when Sajid Javid was culture secretary, he resisted attempts to prevent touts from reselling publicly subsidised tickets, designed to ease access to productions, privately at higher rates. Javid said the only people bothered by criminally inflated ticket costs were “the chattering middle classes and champagne socialists, who have no interest in helping the common working man earn a decent living by acting as a middleman”.

Again, the arts weren’t for ordinary folk. Didn’t Javid understand that his job as culture secretary was not just to transform public subsidies into private profits, but to make the arts part of people’s lives, because culture has a value beyond its financial worth? No, he didn’t understand that. Javid should have a notice plastered to his bald head saying: “No tools are kept in this vehicle overnight.”

By Wednesday afternoon, Boris Johnson’s spokesperson had realised Raab’s snobbery had backfired; the Conservatives suddenly believed: “Everybody should be able to enjoy arts and culture and other such things across the UK.” This is a lie. The Conservatives’ contempt for culture, and ordinary folk’s access to culture, is well documented and continuing, though reports of Johnson’s office hours oral examinations prove they do believe people should at least be free to enjoy “other such things”.

Sheffield Hallam University is suspending its English literature degree, probably the first of many outside the members’ club of the Russell Group to do so. The universities minister, Michelle Donelan, wants to chop courses where “fewer than 60% of graduates are in professional employment or further study within 15 months of graduating”. She misunderstands the point of studying the arts. Any arts course where as many as 60% of students are in “professional” employment only 15 months after graduating has failed. Spectacularly.

The point of an English degree is to inspire those who take it with such a love of literature that they spend the next decade serving in bars while trying to complete their Great Work. And if that doesn’t fly, they must become English teachers, handing on the same curse of loving literature to future generations, their collective misery deepening like a coastal shelf, just as our collective understanding of the works grows because of their efforts.

I do lots of talks about writing comedy, at various educational institutions, usually for free as I am a virtue-signalling do-gooder. If there’s a fee, I donate it to Arts Emergency, a charity that mentors young people from less advantaged backgrounds who want to work in arts, culture and activism. Eton school’s Literary Society asked me to speak, so I thought I’d give the fee to Arts Emergency. They said: “Student-run societies don’t have budgets for fees.” I didn’t go. But I doubt the post-talk Q&A session at Eton would have gone the way they usually do.

Because what the cool kids usually ask is how to get by financially in the perineum between starting out and either making it, or deciding to quit, without having to waste all their writing time in the world of “professional” employment. Donelan has just told young creatives there won’t even be an English course for them if they so much as think about trying to achieve their dreams. Slapped down by the Tories! Just like Rayner, dipping her dirty toe in the Glyndebourne lake.

Maybe one of these students will become a success whose tax repays their debt to the state many times over. (Hello?) Maybe they will just become that friend of yours who knows intuitively which books to recommend, God bless them. Or maybe, by studying English literature, they just help to keep the understanding of real writing alive in a world where Dumbo Dorries’s beloved Netflix generates paint-by-numbers content by market-driven algorithm. All of these outcomes represent value for money, but they’re resistant to rigorous calculation.

Great Britain falls apart under the Brexit government. We break international law and lie and cheat and trash our overseas reputation; the rivers, whose post-EU protections Michael Gove promised would be strengthened, are suddenly more polluted than ever, pulsating with polio; workers’ rights, which Mick Lynch’s RMT said would be stronger after Brexit, are diluted; musicians can’t tour; small businesses can’t export; a man with a megaphone is broken on a wheel; and our cultural capital, the world of film and music and television and literature, that gave us global soft power, is strangled by a government that seems to want to destroy the arts in an act of… what? Vandalism? Spite? Protection from the kind of questions that people who understand how words work ask?

A museum curator I met on the east coast of Scotland last week said we face a second dark age. But it isn’t Vikings and puritans that are coming to burn our books and tapestries. It is our own government. Donelan crests the horizon in a dragon ship; false beard; historically inaccurate horned helmet; and all. Light the beacons across the land and bury the books in bogs. Maybe, when this criminal gang is finally routed, we will have been able to save something, at least.

1. ALEXANDRA PALACE LONDON MAN-WULF RUN FEB 3^RD-15^TH 2026

STEWART LEE VS THE MAN-WULF. The unstoppable Man-Wulf show has another London run, having already done 12000 seats at Royal Festival Hall and 12000 seats at Leicester Sq Theatre. It’s sure to look great in the gothic confines of the Alexandra Palace theatre. My favourite show to perform and as the world gets worse the basic premise of the show – that the bully boys are taking over in music, comedy and TV cooking shows – only gets funnier. ALEXANDRA PALACE, 3rd – 15th Feb 2026, Tuesday to Saturday at 7.30pm plus Sunday matinees at 3.30pm Tickets on sale 30^th July. BOOK HERE: https://www.alexandrapalace.com/whats-on/stewart-lee-vs-the-man-wulf/

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2. NEW MERCH

Along with WAXFACE’s usual line of Stewart Lee merch there are new for 2025 t-shirts and hoodies on the Man-Wulf theme, all of the highest quality. I’d wear them myself but I’d look arrogant. Waste the money your Nan gave you for Xmas here - https://wax-face.com/stewart-lee

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3. MAN-WULF BY THE PRIMEVALS

Glasgow’s garage punk veterans The Primevals announce a new single as featured in the new Stewart Lee vs The Man-Wulf U.K. tour. There are 3 versions. Side a I’m The Man-Wulf. Side b I’m The Man-Wulf (long nail edit). Plus a 9 minute I’m The Man-Wulf (long nail version) (I LOOOOOVE THIS!!). Vinyl sides a&b were released on a 7” 45 in January. https://primevals.bandcamp.com

There’s now a cool arty video for the song too

www.youtube.com/watch?v=yazuiF0OiAI

4. BASIC LEE IS ON NOW TV

https://www.nowtv.com/ie/watch/entertainment/collections/ultimate-comedy/asset/stewart-lee-basic-lee.../A5EK6949itCVNKaChrDXN

You’ll have to subscribe though.

Here is a thorough, and not entirely positive, review from a thoughtful young man on Youtube, still better than most pro-critics.
https://youtu.be/kdOYgqCzJ4s?si=1uIZBn8tMWsAiS0h

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STEWART LEE VS THE MAN-WULF

John Mackay & Sally Homer, in association with Debi Allen/Curtis Brown present

STEWART LEE vs THE MAN-WULF

BRAND NEW SHOW

TOURING THROUGHOUT 2025/26
NB: TICKETS FOR THESE SHOWS WILL REMAIN AT THE ADVERTISED PRICE. SURGE PRICING IS IMMORAL AND TICKETMASTER AND OASIS ARE WANKERS, ENCOURAGED BY SUCCESSIVE TORY CULTURE SECRETARIES IN THEIR CRIMINAL ENDEAVOURS.

In this brand-new show, Lee shares his stage with a tough-talking werewolf comedian who hates humanity. The Man-Wulf lays down a ferocious comedy challenge to the culturally irrelevant and physically enfeebled Lee. Can the beast inside us all be silenced with the silver bullet of Lee's unprecedentedly critically acclaimed style of stand-up. The show will tour the UK throughout 2025 and 2026.

I AM VERY PLEASED WITH HOW THIS SHOW IS SHAPING UP - PRESS IS COLLECTING HERE.

September 2025

Monday 8th September 2025 - Lighthouse, Poole - TICKETS
Tuesday 9th September 2025 - Lighthouse, Poole - TICKETS
Wednesday 10th September 2025 - Hall For Cornwall, Truro - TICKETS
Thursday 11th September 2025 - Northcott Theatre, Exeter - TICKETS
Friday 12th September 2025 - Northcott Theatre, Exeter - TICKETS
Saturday 13th September 2025 - Westlands Entertainment Venue, Yeovil - TICKETS
Sunday 14th September 2025 - Westlands Entertainment Venue, Yeovil - TICKETS
Tuesday 16th September 2025 - New Theatre, Cardiff - TICKETS
Wednesday 17th September 2025 - New Theatre, Cardiff - TICKETS
Thursday 18th September 2025 - New Theatre, Cardiff - TICKETS
Friday 19th September 2025 - New Theatre, Cardiff - TICKETS
Saturday 20th September 2025 - New Theatre, Cardiff - TICKETS
Wednesday 24th September 2025 - Hippodrome, Darlington - TICKETS
Thursday 25th September 2025 - Gala, Durham - TICKETS
Friday 26th September 2025 - Theatre Royal, Glasgow - TICKETS
Saturday 27th September 2025 - Playhouse, Edinburgh - TICKETS
Sunday 28th September 2025 - His Majesty’s Theatre, Aberdeen - TICKETS

October 2025

Friday 3rd October 2025 - Aberystwyth Arts Centre – Great Hall, Aberystwyth - TICKETS
Tuesday 7th October 2025 - Milton Keynes Theatre, Milton Keynes - TICKETS
Wednesday 8th October 2025 - Milton Keynes Theatre, Milton Keynes - TICKETS
Thursday 9th October 2025 - Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford - TICKETS
Friday 10th October 2025 - Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford - TICKETS
Saturday 11th October 2025 - Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford - TICKETS
Wednesday 15th October 2025 - Grand Theatre, Swansea - TICKETS
Thursday 16th October 2025 - Grand Theatre, Swansea - TICKETS
Friday 17th October 2025 - Bristol Beacon, Bristol - TICKETS
Saturday 18th October 2025 - Bristol Beacon, Bristol - TICKETS
Tuesday 21st October 2025 - Storyhouse, Chester - TICKETS
Wednesday 22nd October 2025 - Storyhouse, Chester - TICKETS
Thursday 23rd October 2025 - Opera House, Buxton - TICKETS
Friday 24th October 2025 - Opera House, Buxton - TICKETS
Saturday 25th October 2025 - The Baths Hall, Scunthorpe - TICKETS
Wednesday 29th October 2025 - Cast, Doncaster - TICKETS
Thursday 30th October 2025 - Cast, Doncaster - TICKETS
Friday 31st October 2025 - Harrogate Theatre, Harrogate - TICKETS

November 2025

Saturday 1st November 2025 - Harrogate Theatre, Harrogate - TICKETS
Sunday 2nd November 2025 - Harrogate Theatre, Harrogate - TICKETS
Monday 3rd November 2025 - Tyne Theatre & Opera House, Newcastle Upon Tyne - TICKETS
Tuesday 4th November 2025 - Tyne Theatre & Opera House, Newcastle Upon Tyne - TICKETS
Friday 7th November 2025 - The Anvil, Basingstoke - TICKETS
Saturday 8th November 2025 - Rose Theatre, KIngston - TICKETS
Sunday 9th November 2025 - Rose Theatre, KIngston - TICKETS
Tuesday 11th November 2025 - Brighton Dome, Brighton - TICKETS
Wednesday 12th November 2025 - Brighton Dome, Brighton - TICKETS
Thursday 13th November 2025 - Brighton Dome, Brighton - TICKETS
Friday 14th November 2025 - Brighton Dome, Brighton - TICKETS
Saturday 15th November 2025 - Brighton Dome, Brighton - TICKETS
Monday 17th November 2025 - Everyman Theatre, Cheltenham - TICKETS
Tuesday 18th November 2025 - Everyman Theatre, Cheltenham - TICKETS
Wednesday 19th November 2025 - Everyman Theatre, Cheltenham - TICKETS

February 2026

Tuesday 3rd February 2026 - Alexandra Palace Theatre, London - TICKETS
Wednesday 4th February 2026 - Alexandra Palace Theatre, London - TICKETS
Thursday 5th February 2026 - Alexandra Palace Theatre, London - TICKETS
Friday 6th February 2026 - Alexandra Palace Theatre, London - TICKETS
Saturday 7th February 2026 - Alexandra Palace Theatre, London - TICKETS
Sunday 8th February 2026 - Alexandra Palace Theatre, London - TICKETS
Tuesday 10th February 2026 - Alexandra Palace Theatre, London - TICKETS
Wednesday 11th February 2026 - Alexandra Palace Theatre, London - TICKETS
Thursday 12th February 2026 - Alexandra Palace Theatre, London - TICKETS
Friday 13th February 2026 - Alexandra Palace Theatre, London - TICKETS
Saturday 14th February 2026 - Alexandra Palace Theatre, London - TICKETS
Sunday 15th February 2026 - Alexandra Palace Theatre, London - TICKETS
Tuesday 17th February 2026 - The Marlowe Theatre, Canterbury - TICKETS
Wednesday 18th February 2026 - The Marlowe Theatre, Canterbury - TICKETS

May 2026

Thursday 14th May 2026 - Floral Pavilion Theatre, New Brighton - TICKETS
Saturday 16th May 2026 - Stockton Globe, Stockton On Tees - TICKETS
Tuesday 19th May 2026 - Palace Theatre, Southend On Sea - TICKETS
Wednesday 20th May 2026 - Palace Theatre, Southend On Sea - TICKETS

June 2026

Thursday 18th June 2026 - Alban Arena, St. Albans - TICKETS
Friday 19th June 2026 - Alban Arena, St. Albans - TICKETS
Wednesday 24th June 2026 - Lawrence Batley Theatre, Huddersfield - TICKETS
Thursday 25th June 2026 - Grand Opera House, York - TICKETS
Friday 26th June 2026 - Grand Opera House, York - TICKETS
Saturday 27th June 2026 - Grand Opera House, York - TICKETS

July 2026

Wednesday 8th July 2026 - Theatre Severn, Shrewsbury - TICKETS
Thursday 9th July 2026 - Theatre Severn, Shrewsbury - TICKETS
Friday 10th July 2026 - The Lowry, Salford - TICKETS
Saturday 11th July 2026 - The Lowry, Salford - TICKETS

September 2026

Friday 4th September 2026 - Pavillion, Weymouth - TICKETS
Thursday 10th September 2026 - Philharmonic Hall, Liverpool - TICKETS
Friday 11th September 2026 - Philharmonic Hall, Liverpool - TICKETS
Wednesday 16th September 2026 - Marina Theatre, Lowestoft - TICKETS
Thursday 17th September 2026 - Marina Theatre, Lowestoft - TICKETS

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6. SNOWFLAKE/TORNADO

Stewart’s 2019 touring show Snowflake/Tornado, which was originally broadcast as a BBC Special in Autumn 2022 is now available to buy or rent “on demand” from www.mediagarageproductions.com

Both shows also appear to be free as part of the current Amazon Prime rosta, but buy them from us to defeat American fascism.  We are currently preparing a physical release of these shows but it’s got delayed as I got pneumonia and have been bogged down in picking through a wealth of possible, and very exciting, audio extras, where the material worked much better than in the broadcast show itself.

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7. BENEFITS/FESTIVAL STAND-UP SETS 2025 (the usual 30 mins greatest hits shit)

14^th – 17^th AUGUST Green Man, Bannau Brycheiniog. Alan Sparkhawk, Big Special, Boss Morris, Bridget Hayden, Broadside Hacks, Daisy Rickman, Gwenno, Asha Puthli, Kneecap, Richard Dawson, Wet Leg, Yard Act.


22^nd – 24^th August Krankenhaus, Muncaster Castle, Lake District  Sea Power, Arab Strap, the legendary Throwing Muses, Jane Weaver, The Lovely Lovely Lovely Eggs, the awesome Richard Dawson, the amazing Nightingales who are currently ON FIRE!, that King Rocker film, the quirky Personal Trainer, the mesmerising Ex-Easter Island Head, the hypnotic Alison Cotton. I will also be being interviewed with Michael Cumming and The Nightingales by Jude Rogers.  www.krankenhausfestival.com

28^th – 31^st August End Of The Road, Larmer Tree Gardens, Dorset. Goat, Lisa O’Neill, Throwing Muses, Vieux Farka Toure, Black Country New Road, The Bug Club, Ex-Easter Island Head, Broadside Hacks celebrate The Incredible String Band, Jackie-O Motherfucker, Six Organs Of Admittance, The New Eves, Jim Ghedi, Bridget Hayden, Daisy Rickman, Tropical Fuck Storm, Adam Buxton, Celya AB, Gina Birch. I will also be interviewing Black Country New Road on stage.

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8. COMPANY 2025 FOR DEREK BAILEY.

I am compering 2 nights of this celebration of the late Derek Bailey at Café Oto, London, Dec 15^th-16^TH

https://www.cafeoto.co.uk/events/company-2025-for-derek-bailey/

MONDAY 15 DECEMBER 2025, 7.30PM
COMPANY 2025 (FOR DEREK BAILEY) – DAY ONE

£20 £18 ADVANCE £12 MEMBERS

TUESDAY 16 DECEMBER 2025, 7.30PM
COMPANY 2025 (FOR DEREK BAILEY) – DAY TWO

£20 £18 ADVANCE £12 MEMBERS

Derek Bailey formed COMPANY in 1976. The premise was an effectively simple one; invite a group of musicians to improvise together, in various ad-hoc formations, with as little pre-planning as possible. COMPANY 2025 (for Derek Bailey) celebrates this endeavour, and also marks the twentieth anniversary of Derek’s passing.

Khabat Abas (cello)
Julia Brüssel (violin)
John Butcher (saxophones)
Teresa Hackel (recorders)
Charles Hayward (drums)
Petra Heller (tap dance)
Pat Thomas (piano, electronics)
Matt Wand (electronics)
Alex Ward (electric guitar, clarinet)
Mark Wastell (percussion)

Compered by Stewart Lee

COMPANY 2025 (for Derek Bailey) includes musicians that participated in original COMPANY events organised by Derek; John Butcher (1990/91/92/95), Pat Thomas (1990/91), Alex Ward (1988/90/94, 2002), Mark Wastell (1999, 2000/01) and Matt Wand (1992/93), alongside performers new to the form; Khabat Abas, Charle Hayward, Teresa Heckel, Petra Heller and Julia Brüssel. Over two evenings, these ten musicians will combine in various group formations, chosen by a particular individual just moments before going on stage. The whole event will be compered by Derek Bailey devotee, Stewart Lee. COMPANY 2025 (for Derek Bailey) curated by John Butcher, Tim Fletcher, Ian Greaves and Mark Wastell.

And here’s me winning Celebrity Mastermind. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jk_l1pKTUZg

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9. DR JOHN COOPER CLARKE AND SPECIAL GUESTS – REMEMBERING JOHNNY GREEN. CADOGAN HALL, LONDON, WEDS DEC 3^RD.

Join the legendary Dr John Cooper Clarke, alongside special guests Richard Hawley and Stewart Lee, for an evening celebrating the life and legacy of Road Manager extraordinaire, Johnny Green. Best known as The Clash’s Road Manager during their meteoric rise, Johnny chronicled this unforgettable chapter in his acclaimed memoir, A Riot of Our Own (available for purchase in the foyer). In the 1980s, his journey took him across the Atlantic, working with icons like Willie Nelson and Joe Ely. For the past 15 years, Johnny was the ever-reliable Gentleman Companion to John Cooper Clarke, ensuring he was on time and on song for every one of his many gigs. The evening also features performances from special guests and friends: Mike Garry, Freya Beer, Luke Wright, Toria Garbutt, Clare Ferguson-Walker, Tim Wells, and Johnny’s son, Earl Broad. A passionate cycling enthusiast, Johnny was a devoted follower of the Tour de France. His behind-the-scenes book, Push Yourself A Little Bit More, is a must-read for fans of the sport. He also penned a regular column for Rouleur magazine, offering hilarious and alternative insights into the cycling world. The entertainment world has lost a true original, and this evening is its way of remembering Johnny Green. All profits from the event will go to Johnny’s chosen charity, Médecins Sans Frontières. https://cadoganhall.com/whats-on/dr-john-cooper-clarke-and-special-guests-remembering-johnny-green/

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10.I ARROGANTLY RECOMMEND

Having done every Edinburgh fringe but one from 1987 to about 2017, I now visit intermittently. Due to the length of my shows and the cost of accommodating kids I might have with me I can only really make it work when I am doing new material, so my next fringe will probably be 2027. And these days I don’t know who all the new talent is anyway. So far be it from me to recommend anything at the fringe with any sense of real certaintly. But here are ten things I’ve seen, or shows by people I think will be great. And remember, it is important to ignore Matt Forde.

BLUESWATER Edinburgh Jazz Bar, Aug 4^th, 7^th, 10^th 14^th, 24^th., 11pm. The hard-rocking whisky-soaked blues classicists that wrote my walk-on music.

STEPHEN CARLIN – GLASGOW HAIRCUT. Edinburgh Scottish Comedy Festival @ Waverley Bar, Aug 1^st -24^th, 4pm.  One of the great circuit comics, surreal routines delivered with deadpan matter of factness.

JO CAULFIELD – BAD MOOD RISING. Edinburgh Stand, Aug 1^st – 24^th, 7.30 pm. Reliably caustic road-tested grande-dame of stand-up comedy.

PAUL CURRIE – DADA DOJO. Edinburgh Laughing Horse @ Counting House, July 31^st – Aug 24^th, 8.30pm.  Clown genius.

BEN MOOR – A THREE THING DAY. Edinburgh Pleasance Courtyard, July 30^th – Aug 24^th, 1.50pm. I’ve seen two work in progress stabs at this and it is storytelling as intricate and compelling and witty as ever.

KUNT & THE GANG – COMEDY SONGS. Edinburgh Laughing Horse, Aug 22^nd-24^th, 10pm. Impossibly gifted Rabelaisian wit returns to his roots with greatest hits set.

JOSIE LONG – NOW IS THE TIME OF MONSTERS. Edinburgh Pleasance Dome, July 30^th – Aug 24^th. 7pm. I’ve seen two work in progress stabs at this and it was great.

SIMON MUNNERY Edinburgh Stand, July 30^th – Aug 24^th 3.15pm. One of the greatest stand-ups of all time in bite sized afternoon lumps.

PAUL SINHA – 2 SINHA LIFETIME. Edinburgh Stand, July 31^st – Aug 24^th, 3.45pm.  Sinha continues to navigate politics and celebrity with acerbic calmness. One of the best.

THROWING MUSES Edinburgh Belle Angele, Aug 20^th, 7pm. Kristin Hersch’s rhapsodic indie rock returns.

MEANWHILE, ELSEWHERE...

RAVENINGHAM SCULPTURE TRAIL at the Raveningham Centre in Norfolk is on until Sept 7^th and includes work by the mighty Laura Cannell.

Raveningham Centre, Beccles Road, Raveningham, Norfolk, NR14 6NU

10-5pm, closed mon/tues. £8 per person (under 18s free). Book online. Free parking, dogs on leads welcome

ITHELL COLQUHOUN/THE NIGHT SIDE OF NATURE. Two Colquhoun canvasses are the clever hook to see works by a number of new female mystic artists, on sale at Purdy Hicks Gallery, 25 Thurloe St, London SW72LQ,  closes August 9^th.

ITHELL COLQUHOUN – BETWEEN TWO WORLDS. This vast, timely, majestic, bewitching and unmissable career retrospective moves from Cornwall to Tate Britain until October 19^th and you can hear me waffling on on the accompanying audio app too. https://www.tate.org.uk/whats-on/tate-britain/burra-and-colquhoun

DAVID LANCE CALLAHAN The acoustic minimalist troubadour and chronicler of crumbling Albion continues his sacred trek. AUGUST: 1^st EDINBURGH Leith Depot; 3^rd THE CHILTERNS Awamu Together festival; 9^th PRESTON POPFEST; 10^th NEWCASTLE Cumberland Arms

SEPTEMBER: 19^th NOTTINGHAM JT Soar; 20^th SWANSEA Tangled Parrot; 21^st BRISTOL Knowle Constitutional Club; 28^th LONDON Lexington Resonance FM benefit with Jowe Head and Luke Haines etc.

MILLIONS OF DEAD COPS / MDC American hardcore heroes of NO TRUMP NO KKK NO FASCIST USA chant fame. AUG 4^th – New Cross Inn, London

THE NEW CHRISTS!!!!! The audaciously named Australian Detroit-style punk legends reform and tour the UK. AUG 13^th M’cr Night & Day, 14^th Glasgow Stereo, 15^th London Oslo.

PROLAPSE I was so excited by the unexpected return of Prolapse that I actually had a prolapse, and I can’t even make any of their dates, so it was all for nothing. Prolapse – contact me for comps to me! You have spent enough over the years!! AUG 14^th N’castle Cluny 2, 15^th Preston Continental, 16^th Glasgow Big City, OCT 26^th London Lexington, 27^th Sheffield Sydney & Matilda, 28^th Leicester International, 30^th M’cr Star & Garter, 31^st Oxford Common Ground.

MISTY AT FIFTY! Misty in Roots, one of Britain’s greatest home-grown radical roots rockers hit their half century. If you don’t go YOU ARE LIKE A CABBAGE IN THIS SOCIETY! SEPT 13^th Bristol Lantern, OCT 3^rd Reading Sub89, 24^TH London Electric Ballroom, 30^th Brighton Concorde

EDWYN COLLINS Orange Juice’s indiepop originator SEPT 27^th Glasgow Theatre Royal, 29^th Buxton Opera House, 30^th Bath Komedia. OCT 2^nd S’hampton Central Hall, 3^rd Brighton St Georges, 4^th London RFH, 6^th Norwich Epic, 7^th Manchester Albert Hall, 8^th Newcastle Boiler Shop

14 ICED BEARS Unexpected re-emergence of Rob Secula’s lysergic proto-shoegazers. OCT 2^nd The Victoria, Hackney, London.

THE EX 3 DAY RESIDENCY. Holland’s amazing anarcho-jazzers The Ex have a 3 day residency at London’s Café Oto OCT 2^ND - 4^TH. All nights have sold out, except the first one, which I am compering, so make of that what you will. https://www.cafeoto.co.uk/events/the-ex-three-day-residency-25/

WAVE PICTURES One of the great British indie rock bands make their annual circuit of our land. OCT 3^rd Liverpool Rough Trade, 9^th London Earth, 10^th B’ham Hare & Hounds, 11^th Reading South Street.

THE MAGPIE ARC Country-folk-indie conglomerate. OCT 17^th Cast Doncaster, 18^th  Indoor Festival of Folk (North), Victoria Hall, Settle (with Edgelarks, Frankie Archer, The Bookshop Band, The Magpie Arc and Ashley Hutchings in conversation with Matthew Bannister), 19^th Cluny 2 Newcastle,  23rd South Street Reading, 24th Water Rats London, 25th Ragged Bear Festival, Nuneaton (with The Men They Couldn’t Hang, Greenman Rising, Gaz Brookfield), 26th Acapela Studio Cardiff, 30th Gloucester Guildhall, NOV 1^st Met Bury, 2nd Robin 2 Bilston

THE LOVELY EGGS’ 20^TH ANNIVERSARY TOUR Durable art-punk DIY duo continue to dazzle into their third decade. OCT 22^nd Edinburgh Belle Angele, 23^rd Glasgow Oran Moor, 24^th Newcastle Uni, 25^th Leeds Brudenell, 26^th Brighton Concorde 2, 27^th London Garage, 28^th Cardiff Globe, 29^th B’ham Castle & Falcon, 30^th M’cr Academy 2, 31^st Nottingham Metronome, NOV 1^st Bristol Trinity. I will open for them at the Brighton show.

BEN MOOR – THREE THING DAY. The wry wordsmith has another linguistically lush meta-fiction ready to drop.  Ben says...

19.30 - Wednesday 29th October 2025

THE KINGS ARMS, SALFORD, GREATER MANCHESTER

A brilliant pub theatre where I am always given a smashing welcome.

TICKETS ON SALE NOW

19.30 - Thursday 30th October 2025

CROWN WHARF THEATRE, STONE, STAFFORDSHIRE

I'm really looking forward to visiting the Agenda Comedy Club for the first time for a Halloween-een performance.

TICKETS ON SALE SOON

19.30 - Thursday 6th November 2025

ALMA TAVERN AND THEATRE, BRISTOL

I haven't brought a show to Bristol since Each of Us in 2013 so I'm excited to be part of this season of Chuckle Busters promotions.

TICKETS ON SALE NOW

20.00 - Thursday 19th February 2026

THE OLD WOOLLEN, FARSLEY, WEST YORKSHIRE

Already in the diary for next year, a performance at one of my favourite places in the world - I've done lots of shows here over the years and they have always been an absolute delight.

TICKETS ON SALE NOW

BEN EDGE – CHILDREN OF ALBION. The punk-ruralist painter has a new exhibition at the Fitzrovia Chapel, London, 6^th – 26^th November.

BOB MOULD Hardcore punk pioneer of Husker Du/Sugar lineage. NOV 18^th Glasgow Oran Mor, 19^th Leeds Brudenell, 20^th London Dome

SAINTS 73-79 Superb! The original line-up of the Australian Punk progenitors, but with Mudhoney's Howlin’ Mark Arm deputising for the departed Chris Bailey (a gentleman and a scholar who once came to one of my shows and told me his tales afterwards!). His original co-writer and co-guitarist Ed Kuepper remains undimmed and the authentic ‘70s rhythm section will rattle your bones. NOVEMBER 21^ST Bristol Trinity, 22nd Leeds Project, 23^rd Glasgow Garage, 24^th M’cr Academy 2, 26^th London Camden Electric

DREAM SYNDICATE You must see this enduring American rock institution who impossibly combine free-jazz styled freakouts with classic solid literary songwriting. JAN 30^TH London Garage, FEB 1^st M’cr Band On The Wall.

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11. IN OUR LAMENTATIONS 2025

Barre Phillips (Jazz bassman, 1934)

Bob Grover (Brighton Piranha, 1956)

Riro (Japanese sea otter, 2007)

Nora Orlandi (Spaghetti symphonist, 1933)

Ed Askew (Acid folkie, 1940)

Tony Slattery (The vile blows of the world made him reckless, 1959)

David Lynch (He erased our heads, 1946)

Landy Randerson (Museum access pioneer, 1949)

Garth Hudson (Bandolier, 1937)

Brian Murphy (Instantly aged actor, 1932)

Rab MacWilliam (Hackney historian, 1951)

Barry Goldberg (His flag was electric, 1941)

Peter Yarrow (He left on a jetplane, 1938)

Snowy Fleet (Easybeater, 1939)

Jamie Muir (Absolute fucking rhythmical genius, 1942)

Mike Ratledge (Moon in June Soft Machine man, 1943)

Gabriel Yacoub (Malicorne muso of French folk, 1952)

Bill Fay (Christian mystic songwriter seer, 1943)

Roberta Flack (Made Ewan MacColl sexy, 1937)

Gene Hackman (an actor who knew when not to,1930)

Jay Rayner’s Observer restaurant column (1999)

David Johansen (New York Doll, 1950)

Bill Dare (Even his socks were funny, 1959)

Johnny Green (A gentleman, a dandy, and always a pleasure,)

Ken Parker (The Blue Bender, 1943)

Edweena Banger (Her nose bled, 1959)

John Cassady (Planetary penman, 1971)

Joey Molland (His finger was bad, 1947)

Peter Farrelly (Fruuppster, 1949)

Jesse Colin Young (He got it together, 1941)

Brian James (Lord of The Damned, 1955)

Roy Ayers (Good vibes, 1940)

Bob Rupe (Brilliant Gutterball and Silos bottom end)

Nadia Cassini (Starcrash starlet, 1949)

Nike Arrighi (The Devil Rides Out, 1944)

Bill Smith (Original Corrie, 1936)

DG Hessayon (Garden expert who answered my questions, 1928)

Elliot Ingber (Winged Eel Fingerling, 1941)

Leanne Cowie (Scientific drummer, 1964?)

George Foreman (Meat griller, 1949)

Michael Hurley (He’s gone back to Capistrano, 1941)

Dave Allen (At Home He’s A Bassist, 1955)

Alastair MacKinven (Country teaser and artist, 1971)

Clem Burke (Magic Christian Plimsoul & Elvis Ramone, 1954)

Larry Tamblyn (He loved that dirty water, 1943)

Clive Revill (The Emperor strikes back, 1930)

Amadou Bagayoko (blind bluesman, 1955)

Max Romeo (Wet-dreaming devil chaser, 1944)

Clodagh Rogers (Northern Irish Spider-Woman, 1947)

Pope Francis (Relatively inoffensive pope, 1936)

Eleonora Giorgi (Young, violent and dangerous, 1953)

David Thomas (Ube Pere, 1953)

Mike Peters (He alarmed Wales, 1959)

James Baker (Hoodoo victim of beastly scientists, 1954)

Larry Lee (Ozark Mountain Devil, 1947)

Wizz Jones (The Lazy Farmer, 1939)

David Briggs (He signalled the test of our whistles, 1943)

Kimble Rendall (Hoodoo Guru from year zero, 1957)

Jack Katz (First Kingdom comics guy, 1927)

Ed Smylie (Saved Apollo 13 with sellotape, 1914)

George Wendt (Barfly Freak Fan, 1948)

Peter David (He turned Hulk grey for peanuts, 1956)

Loretta Switt (Hilarious dish of MASH, 1937)

Louis Moholo (S African freedom-drummer, 1940)

Hunt Powers (Spaghetti star, 1929)

Simon House (Hawkstrings, 1948)

Colin Conflict (He could not win a nuclear war, 1963)

David Kaff (He had a good time all the time, 1946)

Daniel Postgate (Together, we held Bagpuss in Totnes, 1963)

Lalo Schifrin (He entered the dragon, 1932)

Brian Wilson (He wished they all could be California girls, 1942)

Junior Byles (His locks be curly, 1948)

Terry Draper (He called occupants of interplanetary craft, 1951)

Jill Sobule (She kissed a girl, 1959)

Terry Manning (Stax to the max, 1947)

Roy Ayers (Coffy percolator, 1943)

Edip Akbayram (Turkish funk soul brother, 1950)

Ozzy Osborne (He married a sociopath and pre-empted grunge, 1948)

Hulk Hogan (Worthless steroid-addled Trump-loving metafiction, 1953)

Tom Lehrer (He poisoned the pigeons, 1928)

How far can you take a joke? That's the premise of Stewart Lee's latest DVD, in which he tests not only how far he can go with bad taste, but also how long he can drag out a single gag. And the answer to both is: much further than you think.

The keynote routine revolves around the Top Gear trio, taking their reactionary stance against 'political correctness' and turning it back on themselves to see if they can take a cruel joke as well as deliver one. Lee gets a laugh when he explains this single obsession will take around 40 minutes - but it turns out not far short. And despite the trademark repetitions, there's very little fat on this daring routine.

The forewarning is typical of Lee's deconstruction, throwing open the curtain to reveal the tricks and mechanics of stand-up. He expects his audience to have at least a casual grasp of the language of comedy - better yet if they're fluent - and if he feels they are slipping behind, he patiently but patronisingly tells them off, like a teacher chiding a slow pupil.

Not that the Glasgow crowd are passive in all this, especially the stubborn punter Lee engages with in his early routine about his coffee-shop loyalty card. But while the awkward, terse encounter threatens to derail the routine, its inclusion captures the unpredictability of a live gig in a way most DVDs don't.

It also feeds perfectly into Lee's persona of a comedian frustrated with the expectations of his artform. Sparked by Frankie Boyle's assertion that no one over 40 should do stand-up, Lee is trying to do an accessible Roadshow-style observational routine from the perspective of a grumpy middle-aged man, but somehow it all turns out much more bitter and bleak. The audacious - even epic - show ends with him shouting from the balconies in frustration at a cider ad. Here his repeated stressing of the same point could test your patience, but the affected psychosis is mesmerising.

Again, his clambering through the audience gives this DVD - the first to be released on the Comedy Central label - a distinctive feel; and while many stand-up titles will gather dust after their Christmastime viewing, the richness and depth of Lee's magnum opus will have you coming back.

Stewart Lee: If You Prefer A Milder Comedian, Please Ask For One
Recorded at: Citizens Theatre, Glasgow
Running time: 105 mins
Extras: Interview with Kevin Eldon (a revealing and insightful 51 mins); Nick Pynn short (2mins introducing Lee's accompanist); Trailer (1min); Press and tour photos
Released by: Comedy Central, out now
Price: £19.99. Click
here to buy from Amazon at £11.99

This month's in-depth investigation into the state of British music journalism concerns opposite attitudes towards the oft-derided debating forum that is the online comment community

The idea of giving music journalists prizes is obviously ridiculous. Is going to gigs for free with an outside chance of standing next to Everett True not reward enough for these people? The one context in which some measure of formal acclaim might be constructive, however, would be in the category of "best sentence". From Lester Bangs and Paul Morley to Chuck Eddy and Kodwo Eshun (before he took the silver shillings of academe and the international art world), the true giants of rock writing have traditionally distinguished themselves by their ability to compress an extraordinary amount of cultural elucidation into the interval between a capital letter and a full stop.

Stewart Lee's recent declaration of occult war on his rival 90s polymath Damon Albarn contained at least two worthy candidates for July 2011's inaugural Ian Penman Memorial Sentence of the Month award (sponsored by Tipp-Ex. "But imagine Bowie instead as a cunning lichen, an adaptive tuber or a semi-sentient mould, endlessly reshaping himself in search of the moisture of acclaim, and it is easy to understand him" is my favourite. Although the alarming if possibly fallacious suggestion that "Louise Weeners of the Sleeper [sic] is planning a lighthearted chick-lit novel about Ithell Colquhoun and her magic goose" runs it close.

As those Comment is Free respondents who scathingly noted Lee's in fact humorously intended misidentification of the Witchfinder General as "Mary Hopkin" may finally be realising, the late-night BBC2 comedian's mis-spelling of the name of the second-rank-Britpop-siren-turned-persistent-literary-wannabe Louise Wener is probably not an accident. Professional music journalists are not generally encouraged to make deliberate mistakes (although there is the odd one who tries to get away with it every now and again out of sheer perversity) but Lee's unique position – suspended between celebrity super-fan, benevolent critical authority and satirical observer of the absurdities of pop discourse – allows him latitude in this area.

Of course, Stewart Lee would be unlikely to get people's names wrong for comic effect in one of the scrupulously scholarly Sunday Times record reviews that have established him as News International's leading authority on extemporised instrumentals. And his recent almost overnight transition from self-styled surly sixth-form common-room existentialist to mini Meltdown-curating pillar of the contemporary cultural establishment does pose an intriguing threat to the strict separation of powers between serious-minded advocate of Dutch free improvisation and wilfully divisive poker of sticks into the hive mind that has served him so well thus far. But why shouldn't Lee continue to combine the unabashed idealism of the Corinthian enthusiast with the cold-eyed ruthlessness of the professional comedic assassin? Surely it was just such a variety of potentialities that the poet Walt Whitman had in mind when he pioneered the notion of an individual containing multitudes?

The Word message-board is not necessarily the first place you'd look to see Whitman's dreams of diverse human possibility fulfilled. But the revelation in the magazine's 174th podcast that the "only active thing" one-time NME sentence-overlord Danny Baker (and a joke Baker once made about the Raincoats in a live review is still regularly cited as one of the finest achievements in all English literature) managed to do in the course of his recent serious illness was make mischievous contributions to that oft-derided debating forum has certainly done wonders for the status of the pseudonymous online contributor.

One participant in the ensuing quest to unmask Baker's alter ego (which proved mercifully inconclusive, as a positive ID would have spoiled the fun) posited an intriguing idea. Perhaps the prevailing harshness of message-board debate might be mitigated if prior to pressing "submit" on another scourging denunciation of a rival thinker's ancestral lineage or all-round mental fitness, online contributors could "consider that the person posting might be in complicated circs". My suggestion is that we symbolically set aside any lingering unease prompted by the use of the abbreviation "circs", name this commendably humane initiative "Baker's Law", and see if it helps us impose some discipline on what Jaron Lanier has resonantly termed our "inner troll".

Stewart Lee's alternative to the former Six O'Clock Show presenter's "If you're not well enough to beat them, join them" strategy – gathering together all the most savage personal attacks on him in one place in the hope of prompting a collective recalibration of Gordon Brown's moral compass – certainly seems to have had the opposite effect to the one intended. So rather than dropping a carcass into the shark-tank, why not fit all the sharks with Danny Baker masks and see if that stops them biting each others' (and, indeed, our) faces?

After all, it can only be a matter of time before the process of anguished self-examination set in train by the News of the World phone-hacking scandal spreads out from the antedeluvian print media into the broader interactive hinterland. And as the decorous new era of content mutualisation dawns, perhaps a day will one day come when 21st-century opinion-formers no longer need to view a violently hostile reception from the online comment community as a badge of honour. In the meantime, Lee's determination to continue biting the hand that feeds him – whether that hand is his own or Michael McIntyre's – will continue to be an inspiration to those who believe rigorous self-regulation can still transcend the discipline of the virtual lynch-mob.

Stewart Lee might have been beaten by Michael McIntyre in the Best Stand-up category at Saturday’s British Comedy Awards but there are plenty of comedy buffs flocking to Lee’s current show who beg to differ.

While McIntyre is the arena-packing people’s punster, Lee is the art-house comedian’s comedian, admired as much for his craft, poise and intelligence as his quips.

In this supremely accomplished set, however, Lee does not feel a million miles away from McIntyre. Both are essentially observational entertainers but where the slick-suited superstar tickles life’s trivia, the tight-jacketed cult joker goes for the jugular, brilliantly unpicking the vogue for offensive humour and the way capitalism tramples on people’s memories.

If an attack on Frankie Boyle’s shock-jock mentality is an effective warm-up, the real venom is saved for Lee’s already notorious assault on Top Gear’s bully-boy blokeism. Out of context his controversial wish that Richard Hammond had died gruesomely in his 2006 dragster accident is tasteless. In the context of exploring limits of taste it is a superb piece of Swiftian satire.

This high point is not quite matched by an excellent extended riff on advertising’s habit of soiling great music but there is still a sting in the tale as Lee closes with a surprisingly well-sung song.

A masterclass in stand-up being more than just a bag of gags and a top gear performance from this driven man.

Most of the discussion around social media and TV focuses on the technologies being invented, or the potential business models (or lack of them) emerging. But we don't often talk about what it means for the writers, directors and other talent involved in making TV. This Guardian article shows a mixed picture, with Iain Morris, writer of The Inbetweeners, saying he loves Twitter, but the constant stream of feedback can be overwhelming:

“I watched the first three episodes of series three from abroad so effectively watched them via Twitter and I found it crippling. It made me rethink the fundamentals of how TV is made. Over nine months you make hundreds of decisions - character, plot, jokes. You used to get a review the following day from someone who had seen the whole and had an opinion of that - broadly they liked it or didn't, and there were good bits or bad bits. Now you see every decision you made being torn apart in real time as it goes out and it can cripple you".

This is one of the most interesting challenges facing creative talent right now - how is this new relationship with audiences changing the way you make your work? How much should you listen to the audience's response? What kind of techniques can you use to talk to your audience, and how can you maintain control of the world you are creating? This isn't about technology or 'transmedia', but a fundamental rethinking of how you tell stories, and in order to understand it, we need to look back a couple of decades to see how TV ended up being so cut off from its audience in the first place.

On Christmas Day 2008, the BBC showed a documentary about the making of Blackadder, the seminal comedy series starring Rowan Atkinson, to mark the 25th anniversary of the first series. Blackadder didn't really find its groove until the second series, when Ben Elton was recruited to the writing team by Richard Curtis, and in a conversation about how they met, Curtis offers a remarkable anecdote about what it was like to make TV in the 1980s:

“This was before the days of ratings … I still don't know how many people watched any episode of Blackadder. I used to wander round Shepherd's Bush, looking in people's windows, particularly people in basement flats, to see whether or not anyone was watching Blackadder [series] one … because I didn't know whether or not it had been successful otherwise."

Its remarkable now to recall how far removed from the audience TV makers were in the 'golden age' of the 1970s & 80s. With only a couple of channels, and no real competition for attention in the living room, shows were broadcast without any significant feedback loop. If you were lucky, you might get a review in the newspapers the next morning, and if you were very lucky you might win a BAFTA or RTS award, but other than that, if you wanted to find out what people thought about your shows, you would have to walk the streets, like Richard Curtis, looking in people's windows to see if they were watching. There might have been focus groups commissioned from audience research teams, but the results from these would be fed back to schedulers and commissioners, not the writers, producers and performers who were responsible for making the shows themselves.

We're in a different world now. In the last two years I've seen TV commissioners go from being critical of social media to avidly (and often agonisingly) watching twitter streams of their show's hashtag as the show goes on air. Making TV is different now, not just technically, but socially. There has probably never been a method of storytelling that was as far removed from its audience as TV was in the 70s and 80s, but nowadays TV is firmly back amongst the crowd, and hearing every mutter and comment is a strange and not altogether pleasant experience for some.

Here is a fantastic trailer for Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle on BBC2 which satirises the sometimes glib and pointless attempts to make TV work for a social media age. Kevin Eldon, playing a BBC Social Media Strategist, walks Stewart through a presentation about 'Social Stew' which includes Facebook homepages, cross linking with other BBC brands and mobile apps, none of which actually have anything to do with his style of comedy, or the show itself.

At the end, Stewart Lee agrees to recording a piece to camera, in which he says:

“In the mid-70s, 30 million people watched the Morecambe & Wise Christmas Special on BBC Television, and that's what television used to be about - participating in a massive shared experience that helped bind a fragmented country together. Why not watch Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle alone, on the iPlayer, in your own time, and be part of nothing?"

Its a great satire of a situation familiar to anyone who has worked in TV and New Media in the last few years. But this last statement rings hollow. According to Richard Curtis' memories of Blackadder in the 80?s, TV wasn't a massive shared experience, but an isolated one, with the storytellers on one side of the glass screen, and the audience, invisible, on the other.

It seems even stranger when you watch Stewart Lee's show, in which he subtly and expertly shifts register between the audience in the comedy club around him and the audience at home. In one masterly sequence in Episode 2 (about 21mins in), he is in the middle of an sketch about buying a house in rural Wales where he takes a pretend mobile phone call from an Estate Agent. Halfway through the call, he pauses, and looks furtively up at the audience a few times. This signals a shift in the conversation, which now becomes about whether the sketch is going well, with the imaginary Estate Agent offering advice on his act, all suggested solely through Lee's responses:

“[Lee looks up furtively at the club audience whilst pretending to hold a mobile phone]… about half the audience… [audience laughs]… well, more now, obviously… it did feel touch and go.. [looks up at audience, paces around]… yeah, I did think it was worth persisting with… [audience laughter]… some people really like it…. [listens some more before moving his hand from his ear and addressing the club audience] .. he says he would have bailed out of this bit on the phrase 'visible otters' [huge audience laughter]“

He then turns to one of the TV Cameras and resumes his conversation with the 'Estate Agent':

“What will the people at home make of it? I've absolutely no idea… it's the sort of thing that I think, if you're in the room can be quite exciting, but watching this at home I imagine would be terribly tedious [huge audience laughter, Lee turns to face the club audience and moves his hand from his ear].. he's reminded me that in Episode 1 of the first series, during a similar bit, about rappers, audience feedback shows that about 300,000 viewers turned off…[huge audience laughter]… well, you know… fuck 'em is what I say…"

Its a stunning routine, with subtle shifts of register between conversations with the imaginary estate agent, the club audience and the viewing audience at home signified only through body language and a script which seems hesitant and improvised, but is clearly incredibly tightly structured. Watching it, whether live in the room, at home as the broadcast goes out, or alone on the iPlayer, is a hilarious but unsettling experience, as the routine addresses you directly and makes you aware of the act of watching, and what this watching means to Lee as a performer.

It plays on all the tensions of making TV in an age in which the audience is measured and fetishised by broadcasters, but never really understood. Lee plays on the fear TV makers have of losing audience's attention, demonstrating his own consummate skill in 'working the room' for its attention, and the attention of those watching at home. By changing the register between private conversation (the imaginary Estate Agent) live performance (the comedy club) and broadcast audience (his comments directly to camera) he engages and unsettles us in ways that the Facebook gimmicks and throwaway apps of the 'Social Stew' sketch could never dream of doing.

Lee's comedy is based on stretching an idea to breaking point - reflecting it back to us, feeding on our reaction and then stretching it further still - not cutting it up into lovely bite-sized pieces for the web:

“I've already come up with my next show," says the astute funnyman. It's called Twitter Ye Not and the strapline will be something like 'The worse comedian in Britain today as funny as bubonic plague'. I'm annoyed by people who keep saying, 'why don't you go on Twitter its really good you have to say something funny in 140 characters'. I want to do completely the opposite. I want to explore one funny idea in 140 minutes."

[interview from Watford Observer, Jan 2010]

This is what I'm interested in exploring right now. I have always been very inspired by Artangel, for their simple approach to commissioning - they go to very talented artists and ask what they would like to make next, then try and make it happen, regardless of the shape, duration or form of the project. They don't own their own infrastructure, they don't have to make ideas fit a schedule, and they aren't in thrall to the temporary hype around a certain platform or format. They trust talent, and understand that storytelling has to take the shape it needs to take to pack an emotional punch. This could be 140 characters, 140 minutes, or 140 years - whatever is necessary to get the tension just right, to make the audience feel like they're part of something unique, something that challenges them and makes them look at the world in a different way.

We're no longer like Richard Curtis, separated from the crowd and reduced to walking the streets, looking for signs of an audience's laughter through the windows of Shepherd's Bush basements. Its all out there now, transparent, readable and playful. We can let stories take their own shapes, speak in whatever register we want, and play with the crowd and their expectations. As the noise of the crowd returns, the golden age of TV seems more and more like a blip - a brief moment in time when storytellers were trapped in a glass box, separate from the laughter and feedback of the audience.

We've moved from broadcasting to a kind of call-and-response, from being behind the glass screen to being amongst the crowd. Its no surprise that some of the people doing this best are comedians with experience of a live crowd. The ability to deal with hecklers is going to be much more important than the ability to understand technology. Pacing, improvisation, being able to read an audience and understanding the right register to speak in - this is what we need to be exploring now.

Last week, I was reading Word, the culture primer for time-poor ageing hipsters, a midlife crisis in magazine form. Apparently, in December, the Tory feminist MP Louise Mensch, (whose ill-judged jokes about Occupy protesters on a recent Have I Got News for You sank slowly and silently like quern stones dropping down a deep Cotswold well) took David Cameron to see Gillian Welch, the alternative country pioneer. But should horrible people be allowed to go to cool stuff and ruin it for nice people?

I loved Gillian Welch. Once. "I Dream a Highway", from 2001's Time (The Revelator), occupies a hazy space where mountain music dissolves into visionary minimalism, while "No One Knows My Name" explores brilliantly the social weightlessness of adoptees. But now David Cameron has tapped his Tory toe to it. Roy Chubby Brown recently spoke movingly to the Morning Star about trying to discourage the English Defence League members in his audience, who had missed the irony in his "I Am Asylum Seeker" song, and Kurt Cobain killed himself when he realised his followers included sports fans. But Gillian Welch, who now plays to politicians, has neither attempted to police her crowd, nor had the decency to remove herself by violent force, as an ongoing concern, from the marketplace.

And so now I have to throw all my Gillian Welch CDs away. And her partner's solo album. And the great album they made backing Robyn Hitchcock. Scratch them and smash the cases and shred the sleeves and throw them in the bin with all the dirty nappies and the soiled underwear and the dressings full of blood and pus. And it's a shame. Because I loved them. (I'll keep the rare bootlegs, obviously, and illegally download the albums proper if I miss them. Gillian Welch, David Cameron's performing pig, no longer deserves payment.)

Why was Cameron there anyway? Welch's music is not the music of library closures and the stoppage of disabled babies' free nappies. Great art ought to be incomprehensible to the dead-hearted politician. But then Ken Clarke comes along, with his brilliant Radio 4 Jazz Greats. Were his real parents bereted beatniks, who abandoned him as a baby in a golf club toilet to be raised by Tories?

What soul mates can jazz-loving Ken Clarke possibly find at Tory conferences? I imagine him, sitting alone in the hotel bar, nibbling at night a grey pie, his suedes fading, with Art Pepper solos spinning inside his lonely Tory head. I'll be your friend, Jazz Ken. Perhaps Ken's happy to be part of the party of penury, hoping decades of decay will inspire a generation of black kids to hard-bop their way out of the ghetto, generating more jazz to enthuse about on Radio 4.

It is inappropriate of Ken Clarke to love jazz, and cruel of David Cameron to attend a Gillian Welch show, or indeed any live event except sport, which is of no value. It must be obvious to him that the majority of fans of anything good would despise him and that knowing he was in the room would foul their experience. But the fact that David Cameron selfishly chooses to attend anything ever shows how little he appreciates the financial sacrifices ordinary people make to go out and reveals the abject contempt in which he holds the electorate.

For David Cameron to attend a Gillian Welch show is the equivalent of him standing in front of another modern American great, say Edward Hopper's Nighthawks, and daubing it with his own faeces. "No One Knows My Name", especially, occupied a special room in the house of my heart and now David Cameron has blundered all around that house in his Bullingdon Club blazer, drunk on champagne, with dog muck on his spats, smearing it on everything I hold dear, and telling me to "calm down" while I plead with him to stop.

The first time I personally was confronted with the moral dilemma now known as Welch's Hot Potato was after a performance I directed at the National theatre, when I suddenly found my hand being shaken warmly by Michael Portillo. At first, I assumed it was the Cuprinol wood goblin, but then I realised I had touched a Tory and so I ran to the kitchens and plunged my hand into a pan of boiling water, before cutting it off and throwing it into the Thames. Dead fish floated upwards and the river foamed with much blood. But I have since met the charming Michael, and his painfully shy wife, Diane Abbott, on BBC TV's This Week, where he apologised for my stump and asked me to accompany him to the Greco-Roman wrestling at this year's Olympics. (I also worked with Ann Widdecombe once, who sadly was a lout. But then you should never meet your heroes.)

My second experience of Welch's Potato was in 2004, when I had co-written the libretto of an opera, and it's detailed in my second book, Hypocrisy Excused (Faber £7.99). Our PR woman announced Cherie Blair was coming to see the piece and that we would all stay and meet her. (These days, I doubt PRs would want the toxic Blairs coming near their brand. It would be like boasting that your premiere had been attended by the Moors murderers.)

Blair's Iraq war was in full swing and I told the PR I wouldn't glad-hand a warmonger's wife. "If it makes any difference," the disappointed woman said, "Cherie will be accompanying her friend, the head of Scope." I accepted the idea that the warmonger's wife being with a charity worker equalled a kind of moral carbon trading, where wheelchair provision balanced out child-bombing, but I did not want to meet Cherie Blair.

But then, did not Jesus sup with the tax gatherers and prostitutes? And so as Jesus supped, should I not sup also with the woman from Scope, and Cherie Blair, even though when she supped, Cherie Blair's weird flat lips were bound to look extra creepy? No. On this occasion, Jesus was wrong. Cherie Blair could go sup herself. But to avoid making a fuss, I just quietly went home early without telling anyone, Welch's Potato discreetly dropped.

Did the hot potato of David Cameron's attendance burn the palm of Gillian Welch? Did she care that the Bullingdon Bruiser bopped to that bluegrass beat? Whatever, it's over for me and Gillian Welch now. Goodbye my country girl, and thanks for all the memories. Let the dead bury their own dead, drive the plough over their bones, and let's pretend it never happened. Scorch the earth and never look back. And I've a new three inches on my overcrowded shelves.

Picture the scene: it’s a gentle Sunday lunchtime in the late 1990s. Some dreary politics show has just finished on BBC One. The smell of roast potatoes wafts through the house. Grandma’s dozing in the armchair, a neighbour’s out washing their car, and the wholesome warbling of Radio 4 hangs in the air. Ahhh, Sunday.

Then you turn over to BBC Two, where a grown man wearing fake breasts is squirting milk into the face of a Prince William effigy. There’s also a quizzical human head-sized citrus fruit called the “Curious Orange”; a children’s cartoon about a gang of talking human organs; a Robbie Williams tattoo – actually a crude drawing of a face on a man’s gut – serenading an alien puppet with its belly button mouth; and more bestiality jokes than Grandma is generally used to hearing at Sunday lunchtime.

The programme was This Morning With Richard Not Judy, Stewart Lee and Richard Herring’s strange – but also strangely forgotten – live daytime TV-cum-sketch show, which debuted on 15 February 1998. The kind of material they slipped past the BBC at that time of day was unbelievable – and in these overly cautious, super-sensitive times, absolutely unthinkable – but they got away with it for the same reason that the show’s been largely forgotten. No one at the BBC was paying enough attention to care.

“We wanted everything to be a little bit warped,” Richard Herring tells me, “so if you were coming down from a hangover, or whatever you’d done the night before, it would freak you out. But I also thought no one would be looking out for bad language or subversive ideas at that time. We could sneak under the radar a bit. But I think it snuck under the radar so far that no one really knew about it.”

Lee and Herring had written for Chris Morris’ seminal radio show, On The Hour (which has led to a contentious point/running gag in the years since about their part in creating Alan Partridge), plus a number of their own radio shows. Their first TV break came with Radio 1-turned-BBC 2 show Fist of Fun, which ran for two series between 1995 to 1996.

It was originally Herring’s idea to do a skewed version of daytime TV; he’d even tried to schmooze light entertainment luminary Nick Owen into doing a show together. “I had to take him to the Ritz!” says Herring. “I’d always fancied that Sunday afternoon slot. I thought it was a great time to do comedy because people were hungover.

"I grew up on Tiswas and Banana Splits, these quite anarchic TV shows where you felt like anything could happen. I wanted to do an adult version of that – crazy stuff going on the studio, crazy characters, and then going to a cartoon. It was really my project, but we realised it was a good vehicle for Lee and Herring because Fist of Fun hadn’t been recommissioned. Stew kind of snuck in.”

This Morning With Richard Not Judy – or “TMWRNJ” as Herring called it – was performed at the 1994 Edinburgh festival, before it arrived on BBC Two in 1998, with a supporting cast that included musician and comedian Richard Thomas, comic performers Paul Putner, Trevor Lock, and Jo Unwin, and the actor Kevin Eldon. Emma Kennedy joined for Series 2, which aired in 1999.

As with Fist of Fun, it hung on the duo’s bantering, largely around Herring’s many sexual perversions – his “Corr Shrine” to Andrea Corr and proclivity for drinking the milk of unusual animals – and their sharp takedowns of whatever had been irritating them that week. Channel 5, panel show They Think It’s Over, Golden Grahams cereal, Chris Evans (“He’s a monster, Stew!”), Hale and Pace, Gail Porter, the National Lottery, and the BBC itself were all regular targets.

But the best bits were the show’s many regular features, most of which had their own (ludicrous) narrative arcs. They included “When Things Get Knocked Over, Spill, Or Fall Out Of Cupboards”, a twist on the low-rent US disaster shows that clogged up satellite channels, but also a tragic running gag about a divorced dad in the midst of a drunken, beetroot-flinging breakdown; a kids’ puppet show called Histor’s Eye, about a time-travelling crow and his egg pun-obsessed sidekick Plinny (“I loved Stewart as Plinny,” says Herring. “I think it’s the funniest thing he’s ever done.”); the “Unusual Priest”, whose eccentric sermons mocked stuffy religious programming; a recurring sketch about Jesus and his disciples; the “Organ Gang” cartoon; weekly appearances from Nostradamus, reimagined as a Welsh woman infatuated with Herring; and the Curious Orange, who became a flesh-eating, Tennent’s-swigging psycho-fruit.

Daytime TV had been ripe for lampooning, but while contemporaries such as The Friday Night Armistice and Brass Eye went for the jugular by sending up serious TV formats for a more aggressive style of satire, the perceived coziness of daytime TV allowed Lee and Herring to push boundaries unchecked.

“We were hiding behind the veneer of being silly,” says Herring. “But actually we were doing stuff that was quite subversive and satirical. Loads of people couldn’t believe what we were getting away with. We were saying things like ‘t___’, and making allusions to having sex with animals. There was all sorts of rude stuff in there. As long as you didn’t actually swear, then no one can really complain about it. But if you’re putting in subversive ideas, that’s a different thing.”

There is, of course, more to pushing comedic boundaries than slipping crafty swearwords and sexual innuendo onto daytime television; the show’s most progressive idea was to deconstruct the form of comedy itself, now the crux of Stewart Lee’s self-referential meta routines.

They broke character, toyed with and reversed the dynamic of their straight man/funny man partnership, and drew attention to their mistakes and rubbish props; they also attacked the comedy establishment with a series of skits parodying the 1980s alternative comedy circuit, and a recurring segment called “Lazy Comedy Slags”, ridiculing the tired pull back-and-reveal gags of weak stand-up comics.

“I remember going to shops with mum and needing a wee, but there were no toilets so I did it in the gutter,” said Lee, giving an example of the predictable set up. “28-years-old I was!”, only for them to dupe the viewer with the ultimate call-back, setting up the exact same joke themselves later in the show. And it worked, every time. (It’s also a line you’ll occasionally hear them both still use.)

“We were very rigorous in the way that Stew is acclaimed for being now,” says Herring. “We were obsessed with comedy and the format of comedy, and trying to turn things around to make them more interesting. It was with proviso that we’d also be funny. You can do comedy that takes the piss out of comedy, but you also have to be funny yourself.”

The writing process was down to the wire, but the schedule allowed them to quickly identify what the audience was responding to, and the gags – even ones that haven’t stood the test of time – have a fresh, straight-of-the-page sting.

“We’d finish recording at 1pm on a Sunday,” says Herring, “then go out and drink vodka and Red Bull for the rest of the day and get blottoed, start writing again on Tuesday, and rehearse Thursday and Friday… it was a treadmill that was hard to get off.”

The BBC gave them the creative freedom to get on with it – “We were sort of allowed to do whatever we wanted to do,” laughs Herring – but there was little support for the show. Promises about properly trailing the show never came through; the series was continually interrupted by sport (though there was better coverage on Sky Sports, as Stewart Lee would remind the viewers live on air); and the show’s Friday evening repeat, a more natural home for Lee and Herring’s comedy, was shifted around in the schedules.

“We’re not on again next week,” said Herring at the end of one episode, “because the BBC don’t want to upset Channel 4 by providing effective competition to Dawson’s Creek and TFI Friday.”

“Partly why we got away with it was because no one was remotely interested in it,” said Lee, speaking on Herring’s Leicester Square Podcast in 2015. “No even watched it to check what was going out. And when it stopped, no one noticed.”

Jane Root became controller of BBC Two, she didn’t rate TMWRNJ, even though it was starting to catch on, which, watching it now, is obvious from the audience reaction. There’s a sense of bewilderment about the first few episodes; by the end, the audience are fully on board.

The final episode aired in June 1999 – a raucous 45 minutes that ties up every running gag from the series, knowing full well this was TMWRNJ’s last hurrah – marking an end for both the show and Lee and Herring’s partnership.

“I feel like with a third series some of the characters could have had that Little Britain style resonance,” says Herring. “But if we’d had that success it would have destroyed both of us in different ways. I think Stew wouldn’t have coped with the spotlight, and I’d have gone nuts in a different way.”

Like Fist of Fun, TMWRNJ was never released by the BBC on VHS or DVD. The duo later released Fist of Fun on DVD themselves, after paying for the rights, but similar plans for TMWRNJ collapsed.

“It’ll have to live on through YouTube and in people’s minds,” says Herring (and he’s right, its survived in crackly, taped-off-TV videos posted on YouTube). “It’s a little secret thing, and that’s what’s good about it. You wouldn’t like it if it had become successful and no one would feel as fondly about it.”

In hindsight, it’s almost Young Ones-esque: an anarchic style of comedy that spoke directly to a young audience, but in the guise of a dusty, older generation’s TV format, influencing a generation of comedians-in-the-making.
My memory of watching is that as an impressionable, dirty joke-obsessed youngster, I loved it, while some – unsurprisingly older – family members hated it. I was even sent to my room once just for having it on, because one of Richard Herring’s “they’re all long-eared rabbits by the time I’ve finished with them” jokes had upset Grandma’s Sunday lunch. Twenty-eight years old, I was.

Clues to the causes of the tragedy of Grenfell Tower are at last emerging, and they do appear to be providing some comfort. For example, people who died in the fire, according to Jacob Rees-Mogg, lacked “common sense”. The inferno could thus be viewed as a useful cull of some of society’s least valuable members, a purification by fire that the eugenicists of the 1930s would recognise as entirely valid.

Rees-Mogg’s own home, the £2.9m, 17th-century Gournay Court, is built of red sandstone and Bath stone, and has not been thoughtlessly smothered with explosive material. But were it to suddenly turn into an unprecedentedly fierce inferno, it is certain that Rees-Mogg would have had the common sense to tell Nanny to evacuate the family immediately; not down a blazing narrow tower block fire escape, of course, but down the impressive internal staircase, which rises from the east end of Gournay’s inner hall to the first floor and has decorated covered urns as finials and pendants on the newel posts, its balusters forming an arcade in the Jacobean fashion.

Having already established that firefighters were to blame for the deaths, apparently for having no experience of firefighting in a building that was actually covered in material designed to burst into flame, we now learn that the dead are to blame for their own deaths anyway, for being too stupid to stay alive.

Meanwhile, we will have to wait until the back end of next year for a decision on the culpability of the contractors. Appropriate blame has, however, managed to be apportioned to the once lauded firefighters and feckless residents through the first phase of the report and Jacob Rees-Mogg’s personal LBC radio trumpet respectively.

Bizarrely, Boris Piccaninny Watermelon Letterbox Cake Bumboys Vampires Haircut Wall-Spaffer Spunk-Burster Fuck-Business Fuck-the-Families Get-Off-My-Fucking-Laptop Girly-Swot Big-Girl’s-Blouse Chicken-frit Hulk-Smash Noseringed-Crusties Death-Humbug Technology-Lessons Surrender-Bullshit French-Turds Get-Stuffed Johnson who, when mayor of London, responded to London assembly member Andrew Dismore’s criticisms of his cuts to fire services budgets by telling him to “get stuffed!”, remains at large.

But is there no muck sticky enough to stick to Johnson and his gang of total liars? I’m not even a real journalist, just a minor comedy celebrity with enough plausible columnist skills to conceal that fact I’ve been placed here in an act of cynicism to drive traffic through a dying medium, but even I can see that Johnson gets a free pass.

Two weeks ago the rightwing press, or “the press” as it is perhaps more accurately known, ran photos of Jeremy Corbyn asleep on a train at 9am while travelling to campaign in Scotland. Corbyn should have been watching England playing New Zealand at rugby so sleeping meant he was unpatriotic and anti-English; a bit like Stalin who, in 1938, famously chose to sleep through the premiere of the light-hearted Russian comedy film Volga-Volga in Moscow, rather than watch England play Scotland at Twickenham.

Well, not only was I also asleep when England beat New Zealand, I didn’t even know there was a rugby tournament until I saw Corbyn sleeping through it. And if not being interested in rugby makes me unpatriotic then fashion an effigy of me out of old trousers, charge people a penny to see me, throw me on a bonfire and toast my immolation with hot cider, for a patriot I be not. That said, the picture of snoozin’, England-hatin’ Corbyn doubtless did some electoral damage. As would the cameraphone film of Boris Johnson being hurried out of Addenbrooke’s hospital, after an unscheduled publicity op went pear-shaped on Halloween, in a hail of boos and jeers from staff and patients, if anyone had seen it. The footage has had an intermittent presence online, as a result of copyright claims, and never made the national news.

This was fortunate for Dominic Cummings, because it wouldn’t have been possible to dismiss a whole hospital’s worth of unsolicited Johnson-booers as undercover Labour party activists, like the dad with the sick kid in Whipps Cross who questioned Johnson’s honking promise trumpets to TV cameras the prime minister insisted weren’t there, even as he spoke into them to deny their existence. If only the media had been so circumspect in its coverage of Ed Miliband eating that bacon sandwich in a funny way in 2014, maybe there would have been no EU referendum and Jo Cox would still be alive.

This is why the suppression of the report into Russian electoral meddling and underhand media manipulation is important. Not because it is about Russia specifically, but because it concerns electoral meddling and underhand media manipulation. Twitter knows that Russian accounts paid for Brexit adverts; and Cardiff University’s Crime and Security Research Institute’s 2017 study suggested fake Russian “sock puppet” accounts were, for example, behind the rapid spread, that March, of a politically weaponised and cynically decontextualised image of a Muslim woman walking past victims of the Westminster Bridge attack.

We know the Conservatives specifically, and Leave-supporting organisations generally, employ similar tactics, despite Fiona Bruce getting her facts wrong on Halloween Question Time concerning the legality of Vote Leave’s campaign, an error for which no BBC apology has been forthcoming. And we know the Conservatives manipulate media because the crusading liberal investigative journalist Piers Morgan called them out for it on Wednesday, after government propagandists re-edited and circulated online an interview with Keir Starmer on Good Morning Britain to replace his thorough explanation of Labour’s complicated Brexit fudge, with him saying nothing, as if he had no answer.

Why should the current government care about Russian media manipulation? They are too busy getting on with it, and getting away with it, themselves. And no one at the cuckolded BBC will call them out on it.

Stewart Lee, widely regarded as one of the UK’s most influential live performers by comedians from big names such as Ricky Gervais to newcomers such as Josie Long, ended his stand-up career in 2000 shortly after a gig in Fulham where a bloke kept shouting: “Tell more jokes! We’ve paid to hear jokes!”

“I thought, it’s not even fair that I’m here,” he recalls. “They’ve got every right — I’m not what they want.” Flick forward seven years and during the Edinburgh Festival that same comedian is holding an audience of more than 400 spellbound with a routine that, on paper, should fail every single time.

The show is called 41st Best Stand-Up Ever, and he’s riffing on a Channel 4 poll that voted him into that hallowed spot, above the late, much-missed Irish comedian Dave Allen, Steve Martin and Tommy Cooper. One of Lee’s points is that these polls cannot be trusted — not least because everybody’s all-time comedy favourites usually involve the scene from Only Fools and Horses where Del Boy leans against the bar in the boozer and falls through an open serving hatch.

Lee describes the scene repeatedly, setting its banality against his mother’s indifference to her son’s comic talents and his failure to secure a television series, which was initially offered without even the need for a pilot. “This is what you find funny,” he repeats, sinking slowly to his knees — “Del Boy fell through the counter. You like that. Del Boy fell through the counter” — until finally he’s curled up on the floor, repeating it again and again and again. It’s mesmerising, intense, hilarious, upsetting. And there’s something about him — the performance, the timing — that’s making every one of those 400 people laugh just as hard as they can. So what happened between 2000, when he was practically booed off the stage and gave up performing, and 2007’s show, where they craned to hear his tiniest whisper?

He smiles. “When I came back to stand-up for the first time in 2004, I was literally performing some of the same routines I’d been doing at the end of the 1990s,” he explains, as we work slowly through sandwiches in a hotel bar near Broadcasting House. “As recently as 1997, I’d been doing a month-long show to 20 people a night. In 2004, I was sold out for the entire run, and it was really odd to be reviewed positively for the things I’d been damned for. I went from being boring to hypnotic, from patronising to intelligent. And it can’t have changed that much. Maybe it looks different coming out of a fatter, older man. I looked more entitled to feel like that, whereas someone in their twenties — you assume it’s an affectation.

“But the biggest difference was that when I was doing stand-up in 2004, Ricky Gervais said in an interview that I was the best stand-up ever — and I put that on the poster.”

It’s strange to find Lee so self-deprecating in conversation. His comedy — from 1990s television success with Richard Herring in Fist of Fun, through controversy over Jerry Springer — The Opera, which he co-wrote and directed, to today’s iconic stand-up status — has always seemed confident and certain, picking off targets with a limitless vocabulary and expert timing. He happily faced down the rage of the religious right over Springer with arguments drawn from William Blake and would publicly bemoan the attitude of the BBC2 controller who took him and Herring off the air.

Perhaps it’s as he says: he suits his age. At 40, he’s married with a child and clearly finds contentment in his family life. Then again, it could be down to the momentum of his recent success. Having lost the television series, he suddenly found it offered again — and the BBC was effectively prepared to let him do exactly as he pleased on air. The result is Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle, six 20-minute stand-up sets where he destroys the banality of today’s flimsy culture, from celebrity hardback books to, well, lists of 100 Greatest Stand-Ups. And he pulls off the Del Boy routine, right down to lying on the floor completely off camera, in a move that shouldn’t, but somehow does, work on television.

“There hasn’t been anything like this in stand-up on television for about 40 years,” he says. “Not since they put Dave Allen in a chair and focused slowly in on him with a single camera. His stand-up was the kind they say never works on television — it was slow, with lots of pauses in it, and there were stories that took seven minutes to get to one punch line, with no obvious laughs along the way.

“What’s good about this show is that they let things run long — they let routines like the Del Boy one unfold. I’m very lucky because, as a script, there’s no way it would get commissioned. It’s only the weight of good press that’s got me here. I mean, I’ve had reviews saying I’m the best living stand-up. I’m not saying that’s the case, obviously, but that’s what helped get this made. It’s not the kind of stand-up that would also make a funny magazine article.”

This sort of material, he explains, required an unusual comedy education. Lee grew up in the West Midlands and starting going to music gigs in the early 1980s (he reviews for Culture’s music pages), when so-called alternative comedy was at its creative peak. His first experience of comedy was the Comic Strip’s Peter Richardson opening for Dexys Midnight Runners. After that it was Phill Jupitus doing poetry, supporting Billy Bragg, and Ted Chippington, who performed in an odd, papier-mâché head, introducing the Fall.

“I was lucky — or unlucky, from a commercial point of view — that, as an impressionable teenager, they were the first people I saw,” he explains. “Most of them were people for whom comedy is an art form in quite a distinct way. If the first gig I’d ever gone to was a night at the Comedy Store, it would have been different — but I thought that was the way comedy was supposed to be.”

With the rise of Newman and Baddiel, laddish comedy and the chain-store nature of clubs such as Jongleurs, he felt beached and alone. Now, though, there are comics such as Daniel Kitson, Josie Long, Robin Ince and Danielle Ward who believe as much in the art of stand-up as he does, organising gigs in museums and hailing Lee as an uncomfortable sensei.

“Alternative comedy like The Young Ones was for all the weirdos to like,” he says. “And then it became something that advertisers would use or it would get its own stage at a sponsored festival. I think this new wave of comics is trying to reclaim parts of comedy for the weirdos, to marginalise parts of it again with stuff you won’t get in a mainstream comedy club. It’s great for me because I feel most TV comedy has nothing to do with me. I’m baffled by most of it. In the mid-1990s, I did at least feel part of a school of thought. That’s why I’m so excited they’ve all come along now.” He grins. “I’ve been doing stand-up 21 years now, and I’ve come into fashion three times — this is the third time. If it happens twice more before I’m 60, I’ll have enough money to retire.”

Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle, BBC2, 10pm, from tomorrow

A woman I went on a blind date with in 1988 told me that witches she knew would consort with the devil at midnight, on the meadow by the river outside the town where I was a student. Soon after I decided to become a standup comedian, I sought them out, in the shadow of a ruined abbey, where the cursed remains of Henry II’s mistress Rosamund were destroyed in the dissolution. A bearded middle-aged man in a black polo neck and a pentangle pendant, a cliched look he nonetheless owned convincingly, stated terms on which I could be guaranteed to succeed beyond my wildest dreams. And, like a bloody fool, I accepted them. As promised, in 2018 the Times newspaper declared me the “world’s greatest living standup”. But I know the cost of that accolade. Deals with the devil have a habit of turning sour.

In 1930, at the age of 19, the travelling troubadour Robert Johnson stood at midnight, lit by the moon, at the crossroads of Highways 49 and 61, in Clarksdale, Mississippi, and sold his soul to Papa Legba in exchange for unprecedented blues power. On 13 June 2021, at the age of 94 and a half, the respected veteran newsman Andrew Neil stood in a studio in Paddington Basin, lit by some battery-operated torches bought from an all-night garage in the Harrow Road, and sold his soul, and his reputation, to GB News chief executive Roberto Rastapopoulos™®. What did Andrew Neil want in exchange for his precious essence? Money? Power? Some hair? And what did Andrew Neil get? Public humiliation, the loss of his hard-won reputation, the chance to play second fiddle to Nigel Farage and a tasty feast of hard cheddar, humble pie and human excrement. And no hair.

In happier times, hosting cult news-comedies like the BBC’s dog-infested Portillo fest, This Week, the fustian-tonsured anti-woke warrior recognised and roundly repudiated the alt right face-flatus of the American speed-blabbermouth Ben Shapiro, a reminder that within him once beat the heart of a real newsman. Shapiro was beyond reason even for a man who regarded the BBC’s thoroughly Reithian Horrible Histories as too leftwing. But the Sticklebrick Rapunzel, as I heard Neil called by a mischievous Ken Clarke behind his back when I guested on the show, would still shut down comedy contributors who mocked Nigel Farage on air, as he smelled the farmyard stench of Brexit on the wind and tried to remain upwind of history.

Angry with the BBC’s imaginary woke bias and feeling undervalued in his small hours niche, the Steel Wool Sinéad O’Connor flounced off to be the figurehead of the avowedly anti-woke new channel GB News. Neil’s theatrical exit has turned out to be the equivalent of a man storming indignantly out of a dinner party through a door into a broom cupboard. Right now, having been absent for two months, while his station is remoulded around the eminently less qualified but infinitely more commercial Nigel Farage and a gaggle of clickbait-harvesting lockdown sceptics and Fox News-style fantasists, Neil is waiting in the broom cupboard amid the mops and Domestos bottles. The Accordion Potato hopes that when the dinner party ends and the other guests go home, he can creep out unnoticed to minimise his humiliation, dusting himself down nonchalantly with the air of a man who had intended to spend two months in a broom cupboard all along, actually, so there.

But what if the GB News dinner party doesn’t end? What if the Farage factor’s unspectacular but acceptable viewing figures mean the guests are endlessly supplied with ever more crisps and Spitfire, like the temporally trapped diners in Luis Buñuel’s Exterminating Angel, and Neil must listen to their revels for ever, cursing his Faustian pact and bursting for the toilet, eyeing the mop bucket opportunistically and wondering if it will bear the burden of his buttocks?

It’s hard to have any sympathy for Neil. In sync with the fabricated culture war, driven by Boris Johnson’s propagandist sex-businessman Douglas Smith and the arts dimbo culture secretary, Oliver Dowden, Neil has driven a race towards the bottom of the news cesspit. Now he finds himself outperformed by Nigel Farage, who has no qualms about diving deeper into the cess than British broadcasters have previously thought advisable or possible. How can Grandad Neil compete with the young and thrusting Farage in the ratings-driven offence stakes? Farage hangs around Kent beaches calling the RNLI a taxi service and camera-phoning distressed migrants. How’s the comparatively refined Andrew Neil going to beat that? Sit in his bathchair with a howitzer and shoot aircraft flying in Afghan interpreters out of the sky, filming himself laughing at the exploding planes and falling clumps of human flesh? There is no dignified exit for Neil from the public stocks he has carved for himself. Here come the cabbages, smashing into Andrew Neil’s human face – for ever.

GB News hangs in there, like a monkey surfing on an ironing board in a torrent of raw sewage, reports of its demise proving exaggerated, to gagging liberals’ dismay. Farage provides inflammatory content that draws satisfactory crowds of onlookers four times weekly, gawping like superstitious peasants at the ecclesiastical trial of a donkey. And quietly it poisons the discourse a little more each day. Meanwhile, under lockdowns, and in the 1970s Sunday afternoon quiet of Covid, I’ve been getting papers in order and discarding unnecessaries, in readiness for the someday soon when my cheque is cashed. Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me. For me. For meeeee. But it looks from my vantage point as if old Nick is enjoying letting Andrew Neil wiggle, like a little worm, on the barbed hook of his vanity.

Despite wearing a supportive EU blue-and-gold hat to the first post-referendum parliament, the Queen’s genius was that she remained a mystery, a blank canvas the whole nation could project its hopes and dreams on to. Personally, I loved the Queen. She hung on long enough to accept, definitively, the resignation of Boris Johnson, who lied to her about proroguing parliament and partied under lockdown even though she grieved alone for her late husband, dutifully following the guidance Johnson’s Brexit government had laid down. She knew she could not rest until he was gone.

I’m joking of course. But questions remain. One of the last people the Queen was photographed with was Liz Truss who, as an 18-year-old student politician declared she wanted to see the monarchy destroyed. One thing you can say about Truss is that she never changes her mind about anything and always sticks to her beliefs. You don’t have to be Columbo to realise Truss had both motive and opportunity. And that, like those cheeses, is diz-gusting!

I’m joking of course. But is it appropriate to joke about anything during this period of national mourning? People have been struggling to decide on the correct way to commemorate, and to grieve for, Her Majesty. For example, while the Queen lay in Westminster Hall unsightly homeless people were dispersed by the police, leaving the pavements clear for 30-hour queues of street-sleeping monarchists. Swings and roundabouts.

I’m joking of course! I completely understand the feelings of those who think it wrong to make jokes like the ones above, or indeed about anything, at the moment, and I only wrote them as theoretical examples of some things that it would be wrong to say. People holding blank pieces of paper are being arrested for less. However, my own BBC Two standup special Tornado was pulled, as much comedy has been, at the last moment from last Sunday’s TV schedule for reasons that remain opaque. Tornado contains only one swear word, and doesn’t mention the Queen, or any members of the royal family. And it doesn’t mention death either, apart from a comically exaggerated description of the flying shark scene from the sci-fi film Sharknado, which is also inoffensive, unless of course any members of the royal family have been killed by flying sharks. Which they may have been. We don’t know. They are very private people.

That said, I sympathise with the BBC regarding the transmission of comedy at the moment. The corporation’s bad-faith critics in the Conservative party, and the national press that do its bidding, will find a way of making whatever decision the cowed state broadcaster makes the wrong one. Which is why it is even more puzzling that, having pulled my show, the BBC chose to fill the aching void in the hearts of my millions of disappointed fans with an unscheduled screening of Colette, the 2018 biopic of the 19th-century French writer of the same name, a film arguably far more offensive than the programme it replaced.

My show featured only one sexual reference (describing Netflix’s Scandi-noir style drama After Life as “the televisual equivalent of a nine-hour crying wank”), whereas Colette featured seven actual sex scenes, three involving a man and a woman and four involving two women. It is perhaps insensitive to show lesbians on TV during the current situation, as the Queen’s great-great-grandmother Queen Victoria, when invited to pass legislation outlawing them, is rumoured to have said they did not exist. Though reasonable people will have no issues with it, perhaps the presence of some lesbians in a time of national mourning could be construed as a deliberate insult by the Marxist BBC to the memory of Queen Victoria and thus to the royal family generally.

Watching one of Colette’s sex scenes, my mind wandered somewhat, leading to an inevitable involuntary physical reaction. Then I began to worry that, like the Pavlova-eating dogs that all men essentially are, I would come to associate these stirrings with any subsequent period of national mourning, provoking the predictable downward rush of blood when confronted with any image of royal tragedy. I am the BBC’s biggest supporter, but nevertheless it is thoughtless to put innocent male viewers of a certain age in this position.

I think for the BBC to pull me off, when all I’ve done is say wank and describe a shark attack, and to replace me with seven sex scenes, four of which featured lesbians that don’t exist, is misjudged. But perhaps that’s what the Queen would have wanted. We don’t know. She was a very private person.

When assembling the bill for the 1912 Royal Command Performance, to be attended by King George V, the impresario Oswald Stoll seized his chance to steer British comedy away from the radicalism and vulgarity of the music hall, sensing a much larger market for a more sanitised product. Britain’s most popular comedian of the day, Marie Lloyd, was noticeably excluded. Lloyd had sung the refrain: “She sits among the cabbages and peas” and when challenged on its meaning had offered to change the line to: “She sits among the cabbages and leeks.” Perhaps more importantly, Lloyd had also been a huge presence in the 1907 music hall comedians’ strike. Music hall died, variety was born, and from then on “variety shows” featured the sort of acts it would be appropriate to stage before royalty. And of course everything went downhill pretty fast. If you can perform your act in front of a king or a queen it probably isn’t worth doing. At least ask them to rattle their jewellery, as John Lennon did at the Royal Variety Performance of 1963. The young Queen Elizabeth, it was noted, laughed along like everyone else.

Stewart Lee’s Snowflake is currently available on the BBC iPlayer. The delayed Tornado will be on BBC Two on Thursday 29 September at 11.15pm, or Sunday 9 October at 10.45pm. I don’t know. Dates for the upcoming Basic Lee tour are at stewartlee.co.uk/live-dates.

http://www.arfringe.com/show/1927/stewart_lee_a_room_with_a_stew

I am on in the big room at Assembly Rooms where Carpet Remnant World sold out for the run in 2012. £12.50
Dates: 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30

New material in preparation for the next series of BBC Two’s Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle.
‘What is exhilarating is how many surprises he still throws in and how deft his jumps are from one tone to another .... invigorating' **** - The Times.
‘More skilful and playful than ever' ***** - The Guardian.
‘Stewart Lee is not funny and has nothing to say' - The Daily Telegraph.
Stewart performs 60 minutes of his current 180 minute material bank daily.
Different days may feature the same material. Or not.

Stew pens CD sleeve notes for a selction of stuff by Alt Comedy Godfather John Dowie, An Arc Of Hives

REVIEW FROM CHORTLE's STEVE BENNETT:

‘The most influential stand-up comedian you’ve probably never seen.’ That’s how comedy writer Dave Cohen described John Dowie in a piece for Chortle earlier this year; and it’s hard to disagree.

Born in Birmingham in 1950, Dowie was an alternative comedian before there was a label for such things. Like Billy Connolly and Jasper Carrott he came up thought the music scene, but while he was born into the folk clubs, it was punk that was his making.

He mixed poetry and stand-up with tracks performed either solo or with his rock band, Big Girls’ Blouse, and even got a deal with Manchester’s influential Factory Records.

But as alternative comedy – as born in the Comedy Store in 1979 – caught up with his genius, he slowly withdrew from the genre, save for the odd Edinburgh show. It was there in 1991 that he performed Why I Stopped Being A Stand-up Comedian, and he stayed true to his word. He wrote a West End hit with the play Jesus My Boy – a great vehicle for Tom Conti – and went on to write for children, as comedy was left further behind.

There is little tangible proof of his legacy. An excellent book based on his stand-up called Hard To Swallow was published in 1988, beautifully illustrated by Hunt Emerson and, still available second-hand thanks to Amazon Marketplace. But his live video and audio releases are impossible to find, and a few scraps on YouTube is all we have left.

Until now that is. Arc Of Hives is a 21-track collection of his witty music tracks, culled from demos, sampler albums, the odd 7in, and three tracks from his Good Grief show recorded at the Zap Club, Brighton, in 1985 and containing snippets of his stand-up.

It’s a great taster for a genius lost to comedy, riddled with great lines from the surreal to the poignant to the cheesy. In Beer, a story about alcoholism, he laments: ‘I wake up every morning with a stranger. And it’s me.’ And that poetry shares disc space with a silly song entitled It’s Hard To Be An Egg...

Highlights are the sardonic I’m Here To Entertain You, explaining how he will channel his misery into comedy, No More Fucking about middle-aged loss of libido, and Snail Tamer, which directs a powerful punk energy at ridiculous lyrics. And British Tourist, subtitled I Hate The Dutch, was a minor 1977 novelty hit – though not, apparently, in the Netherlands.

Musically, the bite-sized tracks are simple and efficient, just a delivery method for the lines, perhaps close in style to the similarly vintaged John Otway, who’s still performing his self-deprecating rock. Musos might also want to know that guests on An Arc Of Hives include Alberto Y Los Trios Paranoias, The Smirks and The Poodles – the New-Wavy band that featured Tony De Meur, now known on the comedy circuit as Ronnie Golden.

But for real comedy credentials, you need only note that Stewart Lee wrote sleeve notes for this CD, in which he ponders: ‘If someone were thinking of doing something inc omedy as radical as Dowie did in the Seventies, would they be able to? And if they did, would we even know about it.’

We might not know that much about Dowie today, but this is a welcome step in the right direction. Now if only his stand-up were to be released, too...

1) King Rocker Now TV

Thanks for watching our documentary KING ROCKER on Sky Arts if you did, and spreading the word, and crowd-funding it, if you did.


Our labour of love really landed. I arrogantly think it knocks most rockumentaries into a cocked hat and will cheer you up no end in the awful times.




“I loved every minute” - Ben Dowell, The Times

★★★★ Financial Times

★★★★ Chortle

“One of the best music documentaries of all time” - The Quietus

“The new gold standard for rockumentaries” - The Scotsman


All Press is collecting here.



Anyway, it appears you can now watch it, ad-free, on NOW TV if you have that;

NOW TV LINK

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2) COMIN’ OVER HERE 12” AND COMPETITION

An actual physical 12” EP of Asian Dub Foundation(feat. Stewart Lee)‘s Brexit day number 1 Comin’ Over Here came out on March 26th and can be ordered here...


Bandcamp | X Ray Production



The remixes are of other bits of the Paul Nuttalls routine and work great.

You can d/l them too I think. I can’t believe how well the ADF’s made this work. I was their mere tool.



Also, Asian Dub Foundation announce the “Singalong with Stewart” competition where you can do your own rant over “Comin Over Here”  and help keep the anti-xenophobia vibe that fuelled the Brexit No.1 campaign alive.


Record yourself ranting over the “Singalong Version” of “Comin Over Here” (available on all formats of the Comin’ Over Here EP) and send us a video or audio to singalongwithstew@gmail.com by  May 1st.

The best ones will win a vinyl copy of our album "Access Denied" signed by us and Stewart Lee and we will post them to our social media platforms.

For a demonstration, check out this video.

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3) TEN BOB/USE LOAF 7”

‘Ten Bob Each Way’ / ‘Use Your Loaf’ is a limited 7” single, featuring a brand-new Nightingales recording, their first since recording their ‘Four Against Fate’ album.

B-sided with Stewart Lee and Nick Pynn covering the band’s second single, ‘Use Your Loaf’, a track that was for a mooted Nightingales tribute album. ‘Ten Bob Each Way’ / ‘Use Your Loaf’ will be released 15^th May on Fire Records/King Rocker Records.

Pre-order 7”: https://fire-records.lnk.to/TenBobUseYourLoaf

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4) OLD TUNES FRESH TAKES

I didn’t really understand what podcasts were until I went on loads this year to promote KING ROCKER.

I didn’t know how good they could be and how much work some people put into them. This one is especially good.

It is about folk songs and they asked me to talk about one. If you listen to it now you might be able to participate in the second part, whatever your ability.

https://oldtunesfreshtakes.com

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5) LIVE DATES NEWS

It looks like all the SNOWFLAKE/TORNADO tour dates outstanding from 2020 will be shifted into 2022, starting in Jan, and below are the ones we know about so far. Thanks for bearing through all this with patience.


Local venues will contact you if they haven’t already. All the warm-up club dates you may have bought tickets for have been slotted in to Nov and Dec, covid willing, and venues will contact ticket holders. Please do not hassle venues about all this. They will contact you. We will get there!


I am planning on re-writing the SNOWFLAKE half of SNOWFLAKE/TORNADO to reflect our drastically altered world and will make as good a recording as possible of the abandoned original SNOWFLAKE available at some point. It's all bacon!



Currently, the following dates have been re-arranged;

January 2022

Saturday 15th January 2022 - Theatre Royal, Norwich - TICKETS

Tuesday 25th January 2022 - The Lowry, Salford - TICKETS

Wednesday 26th January 2022 - The Lowry, Salford - TICKETS

Thursday 27th January 2022 - The Lowry, Salford - TICKETS

Friday 28th January 2022 - The Lowry, Salford - TICKETS

Saturday 29th January 2022 - The Lowry, Salford - TICKETS

Sunday 30th January 2022 - Theatre Royal, Newcastle Upon Tyne - TICKETS

February 2022

Wednesday 2nd February 2022 - St. David's Hall, Cardiff - TICKETS

Friday 4th February 2022 - Westlands, Yeovil - TICKETS

Saturday 5th February 2022 - Westlands, Yeovil - TICKETS

Tuesday 8th February 2022 - Town Hall, Cheltenham - TICKETS

Wednesday 9th February 2022 - Town Hall, Cheltenham - TICKETS

Thursday 10th February 2022 - De Montfort Hall, Leicester

Friday 11th February 2022 - Warwick Arts Centre, Coventry

Saturday 12th February 2022 - Festival Theatre, Malvern

Sunday 13th February 2022 - Hippodrome, Birmingham - TICKETS

Friday 25th February 2022 - The Dome, Brighton - TICKETS

Saturday 26th February 2022 - The Dome, Brighton - TICKETS

Sunday 27th February 2022 - The Dome, Brighton - TICKETS

Monday 28th February 2022 - The Marlowe Theatre, Canterbury - TICKETS

March 2022

Wednesday 2nd March 2022 - Northcott Theatre, Exeter - TICKETS

Thursday 3rd March 2022 - Northcott Theatre, Exeter - TICKETS

Friday 4th March 2022 - Lighthouse, Poole - TICKETS

Wednesday 9th March 2022 - Theatre Royal, Wakefield - TICKETS

Thursday 10th March 2022 - Opera House, Buxton - TICKETS

Monday 14th March 2022 - King's Theatre, Glasgow - TICKETS

Tuesday 15th March 2022 - King's Theatre, Glasgow - TICKETS

Wednesday 16th March 2022 - The Sands Centre, Carlisle - TICKETS

Tuesday 22nd March 2022 - Churchill Theatre, Bromley

Wednesday 23rd March 2022 - Playhouse, Nottingham - TICKETS

Thursday 24th March 2022 - Playhouse, Nottingham - TICKETS

Friday 25th March 2022 - Playhouse, Nottingham - TICKETS

Saturday 26th March 2022 - Playhouse, Nottingham - TICKETS

Sunday 27th March 2022 - Royal & Derngate, Northampton - TICKETS

Tuesday 29th March 2022 - City Hall, Sheffield

Wednesday 30th March 2022 - Playhouse, Leeds - TICKETS

Thursday 31st March 2022 - Playhouse, Leeds - TICKETS

April 2022

Friday 1st April 2022 - Playhouse, Leeds - TICKETS

Saturday 2nd April 2022 - Storyhouse, Chester - TICKETS

Sunday 24th April 2022 - Mayflower Theatre, Southampton - TICKETS

Thursday 28th April 2022 - Derby Theatre, Derby - TICKETS

Friday 29th April 2022 - Lyceum Theatre, Crewe - TICKETS

Saturday 30th April 2022 - Lawrence Batley Theatre, Huddersfield

May 2022

Tuesday 3rd May 2022 - Theatre Royal, York - TICKETS

Wednesday 4th May 2022 - Theatre Royal, York - TICKETS

Thursday 5th May 2022 - Theatre Royal, York - TICKETS

Friday 6th May 2022 - St. George's Hall, Bradford - TICKETS

Saturday 7th May 2022 - Gala Theatre, Durham - TICKETS

Sunday 8th May 2022 - Theatre Royal, Newcastle Upon Tyne - TICKETS

Friday 13th May 2022 - The Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford - TICKETS

Saturday 14th May 2022 - The Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford - TICKETS

Tuesday 17th May 2022 - Corn Exchange, Cambridge - TICKETS

Wednesday 18th May 2022 - Corn Exchange, Cambridge - TICKETS

Sunday 22nd May 2022 - The Grand, Wolverhampton - TICKETS

Monday 23rd May 2022 - Hippodrome, Bristol - TICKETS

Tuesday 24th May 2022 - Theatre Severn, Shrewsbury - TICKETS

June 2022

Sunday 19th June 2022 - Festival Theatre, Edinburgh

Wednesday 29th June 2022 - Royal Festival Hall, Southbank, London - TICKETS

Thursday 30th June 2022 - Royal Festival Hall, Southbank, London - TICKETS

July 2022

Friday 1st July 2022 - Royal Festival Hall, Southbank, London - TICKETS

Saturday 2nd July 2022 - Royal Festival Hall, Southbank, London - TICKETS

Sunday 3rd July 2022 - Royal Festival Hall, Southbank, London - TICKETS

Sunday 3rd July 2022 - Royal Festival Hall, Southbank, London - TICKETS

All Covid rescheduled dates will be added to the Live Dates page of the website, here, as they are confirmed.

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6) TO VAC OR NOT TO VAC

The gvt may not impose vaccine passporting, as their will be questions about who is responsible if you can’t get into your local pub/club/theatre/brothel.

I would be delighted if, if you are coming to see me, you could do your best to get vaccinated, irrespective of what the gvt or the venue insist upon.

I doubt that my snowflake audience will contain many people who deny the existence of Covid or believe the vaccine is George Soros or Bill Gates trying to put tiny Transformer robots into your blood.

But I and my team will be interacting with over 150 000 people on the next leg of the tour, and I would like to minimise our risk, and the risk to my audience, so meet me half way.
I will be selling and signing stuff as usual, I hope, but I won’t be shaking hands to thank you all this time around, and will probably be positioned behind some kind of screen like William Shatner in Airplane 2. Sad.

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7) MEDIA GARAGE SALE

My trusted sales partner Media Garage has compacted all my available stand-up dvds into one convenient on-line marketplace, with most available to d/load too.


Remember, if you buy here we will pay tax on these purchases, and help with British schools and hospitals, whereas many major physical media suppliers and streaming services have found ways to avoid declaring their profits, as have NETFLIX, the utter bastards.


AMERICANS - stop moaning about not being able to see me and visit MEDIA GARAGE!



MEDIA GARAGE | MORE INFO ON THE MERCH PAGE

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8) Podcasts

To try and promote King Rocker I have been pimping myself about on every Podcast going, alone or with dir M Cumming (Brass Eye, Toast), saying the same things in the same room in the same clothes to all different people, all of whom were very kind.


I don’t know what a podcast is really but I think you go on the internet and click on something.

As my grandfather once said, in 1983, “Do you know, in America, there are shops that only sell Kentucky Fried Chicken?” I enjoyed being on the internet with all these people enormously, but will put some blue water between me and the next wedge.

David Baddiel told me it was good to be on the internet, though. These are available..

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9) MINIATURES 40th

I appear on a 40th anniversary celebration of Morgan Fisher’s various artists album Miniatures (ask your dad, kids), available now.

https://www.barrylamb.com/miniatures-2020.html

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10) WEIRD WALK

I have written up a weird walk around the landscape of Lamorna, in Cornwall, for the latest issue of the weird walking magazine, Weird Walk.


www.weirdwalk.co.uk

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11) I Arrogantly Recommend

NEW FILMS

Ronnie’s, Ronnie Scott & His World Famous Jazz Club (Oliver Murray)

The Dig (Simon Stone) ★★★★★

Little Joe (Jessica Hausner) ★★★★

The News Of The World (Paul Greengrass) ★★★★

OLD FILMS

Box Of Moonlight (Tom DeCillo, 1996) ★★★★★

Local Hero (Bill Forsyth, 1983) ★★★★★

Where Eagles Dare (Brian G Hutton, 1968) ★★★★★

The Big Gundown (Sergio Sollima, 1967) ★★★★★

The Sting (George Roy Hill, 1973) ★★★★★

Star Wars (George Lucas, 1977) ★★★★★

The Thing (John Carpenter, 1982)★★★★★

Good Vibrations (Lisa Barros D’sa/Glen Leyburn, 2013)★★★★★

Caliber 9 (Fernado di Leon, 1972) ★★★★★

‘71 (Yann Demange, 2014) ★★★★★

Big Night (Campbell Scott/Stanley Tucci, 1996) ★★★★★

Jason & The Argonauts (Don Chaffey, 1963) ★★★★★

Goldstone (Ivan Sen, 2016) ★★★★★

Witness (Peter Weir, 1985) ★★★★★

Avengers Infinity War (Russo Brothers, 2018) ★★★★

Avengers Endgame (Russo Brothers, 2019) ★★★★

In Order of Disappearance (Hans Peter Molland, 2014)★★★★★

Iron Man III (Shane Black, 2013)★★★★★

OLD BOOKS

Rosemary Tonks - Emir (1963)★★★★★

Rosemary Tonks - The Bloater (1968) ★★★★★

John Berger/Jean Mohr - A Fortunate Man (1967) ★★★★★

NEW BOOKS

Tessa Norton/Bob Stanley - Excavate!

Alan Stafford - Wilson, Keppel & Betty, Too Naked For The Nazis

Peter Oborne - The Assault On Truth

NEW BOOKS

Joe Sacco - Paying The Land (2020)

NEW TV

Ghosts S2 (BBC, 2020)

Ghosts - Xmas Special 2020 (BBC, 2020)

The Mandalorian S2 (Disney, 2020) ★★★★★

Call My Agent S3 (France 2, 2018)★★★★★

Call My Agent S4 (France 2, 2021) ★★★★★

The Trump Show (BBC, 2020-1)★★★★★

Lupin S1 (Netflix, 2021)★★★★★

Wandavision (Marvel, 2021)★★★★★

Stonehenge The Lost Circle Revealed (BBC, 2021) ★★★★★

Adam Curtis’ Can’t Get You Out Of My Head (BBC, 2021)★★★★★

Raiders Of The Lost Past With Janina Ramirez (BBC2, 2021) ★★★★

Mortimer & Whitehouse Gone Fishing S3 (BBC, 2020) ★★★★★

NEW RECORDS

Lady Leshurr - Quaranqueen

The Primevals - New Trip

Cult Figures - Deritend

Vapour Trails - Celestial Scuzz ★★★★★

Robert Pollard - Before Computers (demos)

Kevin March - Last Night

Doug Gillard - Douglas Scott Gillard II

Guided by Voices - Earth Man Blues

Gwenifer Raymond - Strange Lights Over Garth Mountain

Ustad Saami - Pakistan Is For The Peaceful ★★★★★

The Blue Orchids - Speed The Day

Dave Graney & The Mistly - Live At Byrds ★★★★★

Mainliner - Dual Myths ★★★★★

Hawkwind - 50th Anniversary Live

The Amorphous Androgynous w Peter Hammill - We Persuade Ourselves We Are Immortal

Floating Points, Pharoah Sanders & The London Symphony Orcestrea - s/t

Major Murphy - Access

Eleventh Dream Day - Since Grazed

Dry Cleaning - New Long Leg

Guided By Voices - Earth Man Blues

Fixed Horizon - Grenouille

Lucinda Williams - Runnin’ Down A Dream

NEW OLD RECORDS

V/A - Rough Guide To Avant-Garde Japan

Guided by Voices - Live At Irving Plaza (1996)

Damo Suzuki & Echo Ensemble - Live @ Green Door (2013)

Heavenly - A Bout De Heavenly (1989-1996)

Martin Stone - Down But Not Out In Paris and London (1992-2013)

John Russell & Terry Day - Russell & Day (1979?)

Derek Bailey, Trevor Watts & Terry Day - At LTC (1972?)

Sonny Rollins - Rollins In Holland (1967) ★★★★★

Robert Pollard - I Sell The Circus (demos) (2015)

The Fall - St Helen’s Technical College (1981) ★★★★★

Charles Gayle, John Edwards, Mark Sanders - Seasons Changing (2017) ★★★★★

The Misunderstood - Children of The Sun(1965-66) ★★★★★

Dexter Gordon - Live In Chateauvallon (1978) ★★★★★

OLD RECORDS

Cocteau Twins - Treasure (1984) ★★★★

Billy Bragg - Life’s A Riot (1983) ★★★★★

Billy Bragg - Brewing Up with (1984) ★★★★★

The Triffids - Born Sandy Devotional (1986) ★★★★

Siouxsie & The Banshees - A Kiss In The Dreamhouse (1982) ★★★★

Bunny Striker Lee - The Bunny Striker Lee Story (1967-80) ★★★★

V/A - Dub, A Journey Into Bass Culture (1970s) ★★★★

V/A - Dub, Original Bass Culture (1970s) ★★★★

V/A - Dub, More Bass Culture (1970s) ★★★★

Tomorrow’s Gift - Goodbye Future (1973) ★★★★

Jackson C Frank - s/t (1965) ★★★★

V/A - Down Home Blues, Chicago Fine Boogie (1947-1958)★★★★

Maggie Bjorklund - Shaken (2014)★★★★

June Tabor - Airs & Graces (1976) ★★★★★

John Martyn - The Very Best Of (1967-1996) ★★★★★

The Owl Service - The Garland Sessions (2007) ★★★★★

John Lee Hooker - Tantalising With The Blues (1965-70)★★★★★

Furry Lewis, Memphis Willie B, Memphis Slim - Bluesville 3 (1963?) ★★★★

Lightnin’ Hopkins - Prestige Profiles (1960-4) ★★★★★

Magic Slim - Live @ Ma Bea’s (1976) ★★★★

Jimmy Dawkins - Come Back Baby (1977) ★★★★

Allman Brothers - At Filmore East (1971) ★★★★

John Fahey - The Yellow Princess (1968) ★★★★★

Freedy Johnston - Can You Fly? (1992)★★★★

Julie Doiron - I Can Wonder What You Did With Your Day (2009) ★★★★

Tragically Hip - Man Machine Poem (2016) ★★★★

Tragically Hip - We Are The Same (2009) ★★★★

Tortoise - Millions Now Living Will Never Die (1996) ★★★★★

Grant Lee Buffalo - Storm Hymnal (1993-98) ★★★★

Shiva Burlesque - Mercury Blues (1990) ★★★★

Yo La Tengo - President (1989) ★★★★★

Yo La Tengo - Fakebook (1990) ★★★★★

Yo La Tengo - That Is You La Tengo (1991) ★★★★

Yo La Tengo - May I Sing With Me? (1992) ★★★★

Yo La Tengo - Painful (3 cds) (1993) ★★★★

Tim Buckley - Dream Letter (1968) ★★★★★

Those Bastard Souls - Debt & Departure (1999) ★★★★★

Wanderlust - Prize (1995) ★★★★

Chain - Towards The Blues (1971) ★★★★

The Schramms - Omnidirectional (2019) ★★★★

Cannonball Adderley - Soul Zodiac (1972)

Fred Anderson - Quintessential Birthday Trio Vol II (2015)

Greg Bendian’s Interzone - Requiem For Jack Kirby (2001)

Nels Cline & Greg Bendian - Interstellar Space Revisited (1999)

The Beat - Bounce (2016)

Nina Simone - To Be Free (1959-1993)

12) IN OUR COVID ERA LAMENTATIONS

Adam Schlesinger (Fountain of Wayne) (1967)

John Prine (outlaw country singer) (1946)

Henry Grimes (jazz bassist) (1935)

Dave Mountfield (Ornate Johnson) (1970)

Hal Wilner (arranger) (1957)

Tim Brooke-Taylor (Goodie) (1940)

Lee Konitz (jazz saxophonist) (1927)

Matthew Seligman (Soft Boy) (1955)

Millie Small (ska singer) (1946)

Florian Schneider (Kraftwerk robot) (1947)

Bill Rieflin (drummer for hire) (1960)

Hugh McKenna (Tear Gas pianist) (1949)

Steve Weber (Holy Modal Rounder) (1942)

Astrid Kirchherr (photographer) (1938)

Danny Ray Thompson (Sun Ra saxophonist) (1947)

Aubrey Burl (archaeologist) (1926)

Phil May (Pretty Thing) (1944)

The Clacton Fin Whale (circa 2000)

Christo Vladimirov Javacheff (artist) (1930)

Doll Tor stone circle (3300 BC)

Kay Carroll (The Fall) (1948)

Bob the Cat (73 bus) (2006)

Alex Taylor (Shop Assistant, in 2005, and no-one knew)

Simon H Fell (jazz bassist) (1959)

Carl Reiner (director) (1922)

Ennio Morricone (architect of sonic dreams) (1928)

Keith Tippett (jazz pianist) (1947)

Jimmy Cobb (jazz drummer) (1929)

Barbara Smoker (Humanist) (1923)

The Nuffield Theatre, Southampton

Tony Elliot (Time Out) (1942)

Judy Dyble (folk singer) (1949)

Peter Green (blues guitarist) (1946)

Emitt Rhodes (power pop auteur) (1950)

Annie Ross (jazz bohemian) (1930)

Joe Ruby (Scooby-Doo) (1933)

Craig Weatherhill (folklorist) (1950)

Don Weller (jazz saxophonist) (1940)

Simeon Coxe (Silver Apple) (1938)

Diana Rigg (Avenger) (1938)

Toots Hibbert (reggae got soul) (1942)

Dele Fadele (carry bag man) (1962)

George Jeffrie (man’s-laughter maker) (1964)

Dave Kusworth (Brum punk Stone) (1960)

Gary Peacock (jazz bassist) (1935)

Doorkins (Southwark Cathedral Cat) (2005?)

Spencer Davis (Brumbeat pioneer) (1939)

Bunny Lee (dubmaster) (1940)

The Cubbington Pear Tree (1770)

Fungie The Dingle Dolphin (1979)

Jill Paton Walsh (humanist novelist) (1937)

Val Warner (poet) (1946)

Guy N Smith (Lord of The Crabs) (1939)

Richard Corben (decadent cartoonist) (1940)

David Johnson (Duke of Soho) (1960)

Leslie West (Mountain man) (1945)



- 2021 -



Katharine Whitehorn (bedsitter cook) (1928)

Katharine Whitehorn (bedsitter cook) (1928)

Celia Drummond Ford (voice of Trees) (1950)

The Happy Man Tree (Stoke Newington Tree) (1870)

John Russell (guitar guru) (1954)

Marcel Uderzo (Asterisk artist) (1933)

Tom Stevens (Long Ryder and Magus) (1956)

Dougie Anderson (Coda’s Edinburgh record dealer (1952)

Captain Tom (Covid Walkman) (1920)

Rynagh O’Grady (Ted’s Mary) (1954)

Mary Wilson (Supreme) (1944)

Chick Corea (Miles’ tinkler) (1941)

Iain Pattinson (You wanted to see me Prime Minister?) (1951)

U-Roy (Toastmaster) (1942)

Lawrence Ferlinghetti (bookstore beat) (1921)

Wink O’Bannon (Eleventh Dream Day) (1956)

Bunny Wailer (Wailer) (1947)

Doug Parkinson (Oz vocal celeb) (1946)

Milford Graves (temporal explorer) (1941)

Johnny Rogan (Byrds’ Boswell) (1953)

Jessica Walter (Play Misty For Me) (1941)

Bertrand Tavernier (Round Midnight) (1941)

Content Provider was released on 4th August 2016, through Faber. “Over the last five years, often when David Mitchell has been on holiday, the comedian Stewart Lee has been attempting to understand modern Britain, and his own place in it, in a series of irregular newspaper columns.

Will Scotland become the Promised Land of the Left?
Is it possible to live a life without crisps? Who was Grant Shapps?
What does your Spotify playlist data say about you?
Are Jeremy Corbyn and Stewart Lee really the new Christs?
And so on.

Selected, introduced and, where necessary, explained by the author and corrected by readers, Content Provider is funny, grumpy, provocative, confusing and brilliant.”

NOTE: CONTENT PROVIDER (the book) IS NOT RELATED TO CONTENT PROVIDER (the show). It is NOT a transcript of the show, in the same way as the MILDER COMEDIAN book is a transcript of that show, or CERTAIN FATE is a transcript of the three preceding ones.
For a transcript of CONTENT PROVIDER, please see MARCH OF THE LEMMINGS.

Following the success of last year's Johnson & Boswell, smarty-pants comedians Simon Munnery, Miles Jupp and writer Stewart Lee regrouped for this year's Elizabeth & Raleigh, bringing Munnery's alarming-looking Elizabeth I into conflict with Jupp's besotted Walter Raleigh.

Was a follow-up to Johnson & Boswell something you wanted to do from the start?
We all wanted to do it, so we suggested some characters to Stewart and he went down this route. I suggested the Beverley Sisters - it would be tricky to stage, what with there being three of them and just two of us, but that would sort of be the joke.

Were you worried it might come across a little too like the second series of Blackadder?
I don't know, probably. Stewart went back to original sources, the poetry and letters of Raleigh and Elizabeth, and then he ignored them. He just completely wrote his own stuff, added some of my jokes from an act I used to do and mangled it into a piece.

Beneath all the gags, is it fair to say the script is trying to say something quite profound about the nature of power?
Yes, we've been arguing about that. On tour, it'll be longer than the version we did at the Edinburgh Fringe this summer. There'll be an interval and some extra scenes. It will change, there's a bit more drama and poetry to it.

There's a lot of make-up involved. How is the whole dragging up thing for you?
I tell you, I scrape it off fast as I can at the end. I don't mind putting it on, but the worst bit is the next day when I pull out bits of white stringy stuff from my tear ducts.

Would you be offended if I said you made a pretty terrifying woman?
Thank you very much. But I make a very pleasant man.

Tue-Wed Sep 9-10, Tobacco Factory, Raleigh Road, Southville, Bristol. 8pm, £12, £8 concs. Tel: 0117 902 0344. www.latebutlive.com

On Wednesday, Rishi Sunak opened his tiny mouth wide, as wide as it could possibly go, and announced “a new plan to stop scams at the source and help make it easier for people to protect themselves from fraudsters”. Meanwhile, his former boss Boris Johnson, who had persuaded some mug to pay for his wallpaper and the British taxpayer to pay for his Partygate legal costs, frolicked around on the lawn like a dog with two defence lawyers.

It’s hard to imagine how the political, or even literal, fraudsters that comprise the Conservative government could appear any more comically unselfconscious. Perhaps they could have launched their anti-fraud initiative with a short animation of a cartoon fox advising us on how to protect chickens, while seated on a huge throne made of chicken bones, licking chicken blood off its own fingers and ostentatiously wearing a hat that is just a dead chicken.

They are doing this sort of thing on purpose now, surely. Is the slowly auto-asphyxiating Tory party desperately tightening a pair of Nadine Dorries’s old tights around its neck in search of one final sick thrill before it passes out for ever? In its breathless, priapic death thrash, Sunak’s government has reached the stage where the announcements it makes either indicate an impossible lack of self-knowledge, or else they are intended to make people like me waste privileged column inches, which should instead highlight the stripping-away of the right to protest, perhaps, sneering at the latest inane Tory communique. In which case I, like some woke north London tofu-munching Wile E Coyote, have just walked into another Tory Acme™® trap.

The Conservatives are going to protect us from fraudsters? Really? Hoo ha! Perhaps the energy secretary, Grant Shapps, who once ran an online business called How to Corp under the false name of Michael Green, endorsed by glowing reviews from people who appear to be entirely fictitious, can help catch the fraudsters? If not, perhaps the punters who gave Shapps’s fake identity such great endorsements – Corinne Stockheath of Surrey, Dr JLM Richards of the Wallerson Trust in Dallas, or Richard Warton of Tektriox in New York – could be enlisted to help. They shouldn’t be too busy, due to the fact that there is no sign that any of them exist.

It should be noted, in the interest of fairness, that in 2013 the police concluded that Shapps’s sale of software “may constitute an offence of fraud” but they decided not to follow up their investigation. Perhaps Sunak’s promised “new powers” will make it easier for them to do so. I expect they will be too busy arresting teenagers for demonstrating against the climate crisis to investigate Shapps, last seen wasting energy resources buzzing around on a ride-on lawnmower that was a metaphor for how great Brexit is. Or something.

Sunak has at least changed the Tories’ previous position on fraud. In February 2022, the then business secretary and morning-news-radio-interview-round punchbag, Tufton Steet’s now quietly disappeared economic Jimmy Hat, Kwasi Kwarteng, justified fraudulently removing fraud from the official statistics by fraudulently saying it wasn’t “a crime that people experience in their day-to-day lives”. But even as Kwarteng fraudulently used the fraudulent removal of fraud from the now fraudulent official figures to fraudulently drive the official crime rate down, the 2021 telephone-operated crime survey for England and Wales named fraud as the crime people were most likely to experience. Viewers in Scotland suffered their own forms of deception.

Investigating the government’s own Action Fraud service in 2019, itself outsourced to an American company called Concentrix, an undercover reporter found call handlers were trained to let callers think their cases would be investigated when most were ignored, while managers mocked the public as “morons”, “screwballs” and “psychos”. All Sunak’s new fraud initiative has to do is remove dishonesty and active contempt for the victims from the equation and it will be an improvement.

“We will take the fight to these fraudsters wherever they try to hide,” Sunak crowed, despite having lost about £16bn to fraud on his own watch during the pandemic’s demonstrably leaky emergency loan schemes. In February 2022, reflecting on that missing £16bn, a treasury spokesperson said, “the taxpayer protection taskforce is expected to recover up to £1bn from fraudulent or incorrect payments”, as if it were worth saying.

To be fair to Sunak, it is not always easy to find people, “wherever they try to hide.” But it’s lucky that the Conservative peer and bra magnate Michelle Mone, who with her children secretly received £29m in profits from a PPE firm favoured by a government VIP channel, is not wanted for fraud, as she has been inconspicuously hanging out in plain sight in a white bikini on a luxury yacht.

It’s encouraging, however, that Sunak aims to ban “SIM farms that can send thousands of texts in one go”, and to “stop spoof calls, which trick people into thinking they’re speaking to legitimate businesses”. This should be easy for the Conservatives. During the 2019 election campaign, 88% of their most-shared Facebook advertising contained false information, compared with 6.7% for Labour. The Conservatives fraudulently re-edited footage of Keir Starmer and cynically and fraudulently rebranded their own Twitter account as if it were an independent fact-checking service, or a “legimate business”, as Sunak said in his statement condemning fraudsters. Meanwhile, the people of North Shropshire thought they were electing a local MP, when in fact they were effectively electing a paid lobbyist in disguise. All Sunak needs to do to stop industrial-scale fraud is look at how his own party have defrauded the electorate on a similar industrial scale in recent years, learn some lessons, and work backwards. It’s not rocket science.

Stewart Lee – beloved writer, columnist and stand-up - was on the podcast in 2022 talking about the first records he bought, immensely funny and fascinating, and we’ve been praying for an excuse to get him back since. And it’s here! - he’s on tour again and his ‘Basic Lee’ show is on Sky/Now TV on July 20. This covers his first memories of live entertainment - in the audience and as a performer – and the people who influenced him and stops off at the following stations …

… why the Wombles were just like Crass.

… how he writes and tests new material.

… why Ted Chippington inspired his stand-up career.

… television comedy is now “two-screen TV” as the viewer’s always watching something else at the same time.

… how Lockdown made audiences forget how to behave.

… “Comedian In Bum Phone Fury”: how he stopped people filming his gigs.

… deliberately using negative reaction shots in his TV edits.

… improvisation in music and comedy and why every night should be unique.

… the tense protocol of comedians at other comedians’ gigs

...Mark E Smith doing things “out of necessity irrespective of how they were received” and his reaction to seeing Stewart in his audience.

… why festival crowds are a challenge.

… the Drifters, the Applejacks and Napalm Death and how they are related.

… the music playing when his son was born.

… arriving in full early Dexys rig - donkey jacket, woolly hat - to find they were now the “raggle-taggle gypsies”.

… the sole performance of Peter Richardson’s Mexican bandit act.

… Daniel Kitson, “the world’s greatest living stand-up”.

… plus the Nightingales, Chris Spedding, Clem Cattini, Kirk Brandon, the Bevis Frond, Geddy Lee, Throbbing Gristle and Brighton Psych Fest’s Secluded Bronte – “is it music or are they just moving furniture around?”

DOWNLOAD ‘PRINCE ANDREW IS A SWEATY NONCE’ BY THE KUNTS BY MINDNIGHT THURSDAY JUNE 2ND FOR JUBILEE CHART NO 2 SLOT VICTORY.
https://princeandrew.info

‘The only time I wanna see ‘big break’ and ‘Stewart Lee’ in the same sentence, will also involve his spinal column’ - Centerist Thug, Twitter

WOKE SO-CALLED ‘COMEDIAN’ T-SHIRT

There has never been a wokier time to own a wokely fabricated Stewart Lee ‘Woke so-called ‘comedian’’ leisure garment.
Woke so-called' 'comedian' 'Stewart Lee' says - "As all alt right journalists know, the best way to invalidate a word is to put it in inverted commas.
But if I was Vladimir Putin I'd want my money back! Celebrate the paucity of traditional alt right arguments against woke comedy with this irksome 'so-called' comedian shirt, manufactured in the wokest way possible with the wokest materials available."

Available from this link from May 1^st...

https://wax-face.com/stewart-lee

Made on Anthem Organic Tee Shirts who are a UK based ethical tee shirt manufacturer. They cost £20,00 each and will start shipping from 2022. Content Provider facemasks cost £15 each and are in stock and shipping now! Hoodies of Content Provider and All The Cheeses are also in stock and shipping now. They cost £35 each.

WOKE T-SHIRT OFFER CLOSES END OF MAY SO ORDER BEFORE THEN OR FACE A DELAY AS THE BLOKE MAKING THEM GOES OFF ON TOUR WITH A PSYCHEDELIC BAND

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2. BASIC LEE

I will be launching a new Stand-up tour, BASIC LEE, in the Summer/Autumn of 2022.
Edinburgh previews (Aug), London (Sept – Dec) and 2023 dates on sale – more touring dates to be added.

LEICESTER SQUARE THEATRE

Tues - Sat from Sept 20th to Dec 17th 2022

(EXCEPT Oct 18th - 29th and Nov 11^th)
7pm (4pm performance Saturday 12^th November

After a decade of ground-breaking high concept shows involving overarched interlinked narratives, massive sets and enormous comedy props, Lee enters the post-pandemic era in streamlined solo stand-up mode. One man, one microphone, and one microphone in the wings in case the one on stage breaks. Pure. Simple. Classic. Basic Lee. "The world's greatest living stand-up comedian." The Times

LEICESTER SQUARE TICKETS HERE

First touring dates scheduled below - some onsale already.

There are also new material sets incoming
JULY 10th Brighton Comedy Garden w Andrew Maxwell & Josie Long and more tbc

First touring dates scheduled below - some onsale already.

Thursday 26th January 2023 - Symphony Hall, Birmingham - TICKETS

Friday 27th January 2023 - Symphony Hall, Birmingham - TICKETS

Monday 6th February 2023 - Everyman Theatre, Cheltenham - TICKETS

Tuesday 7th February 2023 - Everyman Theatre, Cheltenham - TICKETS

Wednesday 8th February 2023 - Everyman Theatre, Cheltenham - TICKETS

Thursday 9th February 2023 - DeMontfort Hall, Leicester - TICKETS

Friday 10th February 2023 - DeMontfort Hall, Leicester - TICKETS

Saturday 11th February 2023 - Philharmonic Hall, Liverpool - TICKETS

Sunday 12th February 2023 - Grand Theatre, Wolverhampton - TICKETS

Wednesday 22nd February 2023 - Belgrade Theatre, Coventry - TICKETS

Thursday 23rd February 2023 - Belgrade Theatre, Coventry - TICKETS

Monday 27th March 2023 - The Lowry, Salford Quays - TICKETS

Tuesday 28th March 2023 - The Lowry, Salford Quays - TICKETS

Wednesday 29th March 2023 - The Lowry, Salford Quays - TICKETS

Thursday 30th March 2023 - The Lowry, Salford Quays - TICKETS

Friday 31st March 2023 - The Lowry, Salford Quays - TICKETS

Saturday 1st April 2023 - The Lowry, Salford Quays - TICKETS

Thursday 4th May 2023 - Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford - TICKETS

Friday 5th May 2023 - Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford - TICKETS

Saturday 6th May 2023 - Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford - TICKETS

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3. EDINBLUR 2022

Two shows, on sale March 3^rd. A w-i-p at 10 am and a final go on the Snowflake half of Snowflake Tornado at 1.50pm

Basic Lee (Work In Progress)

Stand 1, 10am (10.00hrs) - 3^rd – 27^th August (days off 15^th & 16^th Aug)

Early morning work-in-progress towards the 2022/3 stripped-down, mobile, reactive new stand-up show. One man. One mic. And another mic in the wings in case the stage mic goes down.

BASIC LEE (Work In Progress) TICKETS HERE

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STEWART LEE: Snowflake

The Stand’s New Town Theatre (Grand Hall), 1.50pm (13.50hrs) - 3^rd – 28 August (days off 15^th & 16^th Aug)

Snowflake. Last chance ever to see the culture-war themed second act of the Snowflake Tornado double bill that toured 2019-2022. The other half, Tornado, played the same venue in pre-pandemic 2019. Satire! Swearing!! Retching!!! And a song!!!!

SNOWFLAKE TICKETS HERE

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4. THE SNOWFLAKE/TORNADO TOUR

After the abrupt end of the covid-cancelled sell-out tour of Snowflake/Tornado in March 2020, Stewart Lee, “the world’s greatest living stand-up” (Times), returns to more than 60 towns and cities in the UK.

The tour, a double bill of two 60-minute sets, back-to-back nightly, will include new material for 2022.

The Snowflake half has been heavily rewritten in the light of the two years the show has been laid off, looking at how the Covid-Brexit era has impacted on the culture war declared on lovely woke snowflakes by horrible people.

The Tornado half questions Stew’s position in the comedy marketplace after Netflix mistakenly listed his show as “reports of sharks falling from the skies are on the rise again. Nobody on the Eastern Seaboard is safe.”

All shows are 14+ apparently. If you are under 14 you are too immature to enjoy my swearing and farts.

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ALL REMAINING SNOWFLAKE/TORNADO DATES ARE ONSALE HERE.
ONE MORE MONTH LEFT!

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5. KING ROCKER DVD/SCREENINGS

Our critically acclaimed doc KING ROCKER is available on DVD, and the s/track is out on various formats too.

https://www.firerecords.com/product/king-rocker-ost/

Following the huge recent success of ‘King Rocker’, spotlighting The Nightingales as one of the best bands in Britain, comes the soundtrack and DVD to one of 2021’s break-out films. This special ‘King Rocker’ bookback DVD/CD deluxe package includes the full length feature film with over 90 minutes of extras and unseen footage alongside the soundtrack.

This collector’s edition is beautifully encased with 20 pages of unreleased behind the scenes photos and liner notes from Michael Cumming and Stewart Lee.“Lee tells Lloyd’s story with skill, passion and verve” The Times. Comedian Stewart Lee and director Michael Cumming (Brass Eye, Toast Of London) investigate a missing piece of punk history. Robert Lloyd, best known for fronting cult Birmingham bands The Prefects and The Nightingales, has survived under the radar for over four decades. But how, if at all, does Robert want to be remembered?

The anti-rockumentary ‘King Rocker’ weaves the story of Birmingham’s undervalued underdog autodidact into that of the city’s forgotten public sculpture of King Kong, eschewing the celebrity interview and archive-raid approach for a free-associating bricolage of Indian food, bewildered chefs, vegetable gardening, prescription medicines, pop stardom and pop art.

All of the highlights from the film are here, along with rarities which won’t appear on any of the deluxe reissues of the Nightingales’ catalogue, among them 7″ versions of “Use Your Loaf”, the Bob Luman hit “Let’s Think About Living” and “Black Country”, a glam remix of crowd favourite “Thick And Thin” and a version of Christy & Emily’s “Ghost” which rivals the Nightingales’ take on TLC’s “Unpretty” for sheer beauty.

The only act with roots in the punk era that have gone on to make records more captivating, cutting and entertaining today than at any point in their past; 2022 will be a busy year for the Nightingales, with months of live dates planned, a limited edition remix 12″, deluxe reissues of both ‘Hysterics’ and ‘In The Good Old Country Way’, and a hardcover book collecting Robert’s lyrics.“An inspiring comeback story that feels profoundly necessary” The Quietus

I will be hosting a number of screenings of the film this Summer, including at some festivals:

Bluedot (21^st-24^th July https://www.discoverthebluedot.com) w Bjork Sugarbabe, The Mogwais, Spiralized 3, Bionic Radio Workshop, Adam Bufftone, Andrew O’Neil’s History of Metal, Kiri Te Pritchard-Mclanna, Robbie Nince and a Delia Derbyshire Day.

Midlands Arts Centre, Birmingham Thurs 28^th July https://macbirmingham.co.uk/event/king-rocker-q-a

Deer Shed (29^th - 31^st July https://www.deershedfestival.com) w Dry Cleaning, Billy NoMates, Treeboy & Arc, and David O’Doherty

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6. SAVE THE WYE

Please save the Wye from pollution as it is my favourite river.

https://action.wildlifetrusts.org/page/86529/action/2

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7. THE BLOATER - ROSEMARY TONKS

It has been a comms failure by me not to tell you I wrote the intro for this republication of the lost ‘60s classic The Bloater by literature’s new favourite witch-queen of the radiophonic workshop, Rosemary Tonks, and it’s a doozy.
Get It Here

'Should The Bloater be republished?
Oh God, absolutely, it's fantastic' - Stewart Lee.
Min works at the BBC as an audio engineer, where she is struggling to replicate the sound of a heartbeat. At home, other matters of the heart are making a mockery of life as Min knows it. Min has found herself the object of her lodger's affection. An internationally renowned opera singer she's nicknamed 'The Bloater', Min is disgusted and attracted to him in equal measure. But with a husband so invisible that she accidentally turns the lights off on him even when he's still in the room, Min can't quite bring herself to silence The Bloater's overtures.  Vain, materialistic, yet surprisingly tender, The Bloater is a sparklingly ironic comedy of manners for all flirtatious gossips who love to hate and hate to love.
'A wonderfully unromantic romantic comedy' - Daily Telegraph
'Uncommonly good' - Guardian
'It is the perfect aperitif, makes you feel warm and careless and much, much happier' - The Times

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8. KUNT & THE GANG - PRINCE ANDREW IS A SWEATY NONCE

The forces of neo-fascism conspire to eliminate the channels available to our cheeky Essex electro-punk satirists Kunt & The Gang, now known as The Kunts, as they seek to promote their jubilee single Prince Andrew Is A Sweaty Nonce.

Here’s the website to buy it. https://princeandrew.info

The group have realised there is no way this would be allowed to be the Jubilee no 1 and are wisely aiming for the no 2 slot.
You need to d/l by the end of play Thursday June 2^nd.

FOR JUBILEE No.2!
What sort of person would support this?
A certain sort of person. The sort of person who believes that people in positions of power should be held to account for their seedy crimes and shouldn’t be able to use their wealth, status and connections to pay for things to go away.

FAQs for a certain sort of person
Why Jubilee Number 2?
Because let’s face it, even if we did sell enough records they’d never let it be Number 1 anyway!
How can I be most effective come 27 May?

DOWNLOAD - STREAM - SHARE
The most effective way to make yourself count is to:
1. Download all the versions on as many platforms as you are able to. Links at https://princeandrew.info
2. Stream our carefully curated playlists on a premium streaming account. links above.
3. Keep sharing, commenting and spreading the word before and throughout the week of release [try and include www.princeandrew.info #PrinceAndrew and #Jubilee every time you post]. Share screenshots when you have downloaded. Go on Jubilee groups and message boards and share the video.
We realise times are hard and not everyone will be able to afford to do everything so anything you can manage is greatly appreciated and will make a difference.
4. Join the mailing list above - we don’t pester you with a barrage of emails, it just means that you will find out key info that gets lost on social media due to algorithms.
5. Change your social media Avatar to show your support - it really helps spread awareness. The more people do it, the more people see it.

I’m completely skint. what can I do to support the cause?
1. Stream our carefully curated playlists on a free-trial premium streaming account. Set a reminder to cancel when the week has finished.

2.. Tell your friends. If you can’t share on your socials, share with WhatsApp groups and contacts. Every single time you mention it to someone else, it makes a difference.

When do sales open?
0.01 on Friday May 27. They close on 23.59 Thursday June 2.

What’s your strategy?
There are 10 different versions of Prince Andrew Is A Sweaty Nonce available for download at 59p each (the cheapest retail price for a single track). If you download all 10 versions, they are added together to count as 10 sales for the main chart, making your vote 10x more powerful, all for the price of a City Centre pint (or 2 pints in Spoons). If you get them on 2 platforms, that counts as 20 sales.

The 24/7 streaming playlists you can leave running all week. On a premium streaming account 100 streams = 1 sale (600 streams on a free account).
There are limits on how many streams count towards the main chart but streaming 24/7 adds millions of streams to the main platforms and makes the song more visible to casual browsers.

DON’T LET THE ESTABLISHMENT SWEEP IT UNDER THE CARPET!

10 VERSIONS COUNT AS 10 SALES IN THE CHART. AT ONLY 59p EACH, PLEASE DOWNLOAD ALL 10!

24/7 STREAMING PLAYLIST LINKS:
Links to our carefully curated Streaming playlists:
Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube Music and Apple Music are all doing a month’s free Premium trial for new members.

SPOTIFY:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5ZM5ERTSXTbuxe5GTrUT14

AMAZON MUSIC (coming tonight just after Midnight)
https://amzn.to/3wQBDKu

YOUTUBE MUSIC (Short playlist, play on repeat)
https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgrpwKmX6dZQoCALEC-oTLVyOfK57HVcE

APPLE MUSIC (Short playlist, play on repeat)
https://music.apple.com/library/playlist/p.8Wx6LVDimROL01

+++STREAMING TIPS to maximise your impact+++
1. Please stream 24/7 from now until Friday 3 June. 100 Premium account streams = 1 sale (600 non premium)
2. Don’t Mute your Playlist, have it on low or headphones.
3. If there is a crossfade (there is on Spotify) turn it up to maximum
4. Check your playlist every few hours / half day to check it is still going.

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9. THE LADY MACBETH GUIDE TO AMBITION - STEFAN STERN

If you are a woke snowflake you have more than likely read a few articles by my friend the political journalist Stefan Stern and thought, “Oooh. I agree the fuck out of that.”
So why not help crowdfund his sure-to-be-ace new book.

https://unbound.com/books/the-lady-macbeth-guide-to-ambition/

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10. STEVE BAKER WATCH

Help to scrutinise climate-sceptic MP Steve Baker here
https://www.stevebakerwatch.com

“Steve Baker was elected as the MP for Wycombe in 2010. We’re a group of local citizens who are worried that our MP isn’t doing the best for us.

We’re particularly alarmed about Steve Baker’s views on climate change but also wonder if he really cares about the people he’s supposed to represent.
We certainly think Wycombe deserves better.

Our aim is to make it easy for local people to scrutinise how our MP spends his time and what he says to enable them to ask the question: “Is he really working for you?”

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11. I ARROGANTLY RECOMMEND SOME 2022 HAPPENINGS/THINGS

OM Holy mountain of drone metal JUNE 1^st M’cr Gorilla, 3^rd London Earth

BO NINGEN Indestructible Japanese noise survivors tour UK and Ireland JUNE 2^nd London Railway Tavern Tulse Hill, 7^th Newcastle Cluny, 8^th Glasgow Broadcast, 8^th Dublin Sound House, 10^th Limerick Casbah, 13^th Birkenhead Future Yard, 14^th Manchester Yes, 15^th Huddersfield Venn, 18^th St Albans Horn.

WILKINSON EDWARDS NOBLE is the greatest current British free jazz trio, and will make instant converts of sceptics. They are at Finch’s Café, 12 Sidworth St in London Fields on June 3^rd at 8pm for £8

Until June 5^th. Last chance to see Laura Knight & Caroline Walker - A Female Gaze at Nottingham Castle Art Gallery, most notable for displaying loads of Laura Knight pictures from private collections, and displaying them with real sensitivity in a biographical/thematic timeline, alongside other loans from galleries and from the Castle’s own collection, in a way that makes the genius of this pioneering woman utterly undeniable. https://www.nottinghamcastle.org.uk/whats-on/laura-knight-caroline-walker-a-female-gaze/

DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS Liberal redneck rockers JUNE 7^th Brighton Chalk, 8^th London Forum, 9^th Leeds Stylus, 11^th Dublin Vicar Street

DRY CLEANING Sing-speak post-punkers JUNE 7^th London 02, 9^th & 12^th Edinburgh Hidden Door, 13^th London QEH., AUGUST 27^TH M’cr Mayfield Depot

Daniel Kitson. The elusive comedy wunderkind has dates a-plenty.

JUNE 7th, 8th, 9th - The Old Mill – Stillington, North Yorkshire;
17th – Midlands Arts Centre Outdoor Theatre – Birmingham;
18th – (Afternoon) - Melbourne Hall, Walled Garden – Derby;
19th - Regents Park Open Air Theatre - LondON;
22nd, 23rd –Lawrence Batley Theatre Courtyard – Huddersfield;
JULY 6th – Compering Mixed Bill – Brighton Comedy Gardens;
17th - Grosvenor Park Open Air Theatre – Chester;
18th - Midland Arts Centre Outdoor Theatre – Birmingham;
20th, 21st, 22nd, 23rd – Windmill Hill City Farm - Bristol;
24th - Regents Park Open Air Theatre – London;
AUGUST 21st –Regents Park Open Air Theatre - London

Andrew & Eden Kotting - Excuse Me Please, Can You Help Me, I’m Terribly Worried My favourite filmmaker and his artist daughter have a new exhibition at New Art Projects, London, June 9^th - July 31st https://newartprojects.com/events/andrew-and-eden-kotting-excuse-me-can-you-help-me-im-terribly-worried/
New Art Projects are delighted to present the first London solo exhibition Andrew and Eden Kötting.

Excuse me, can you help me please? I’m terribly worried brings together their work collaborating in one capacity or another for over 34 years. Questions of authorship can be raised: Who made what? Who instigated what? How did this magical world arrive and from who’s universe? While this uncertainty can be questioned, here it is celebrated and laid open, as ownership and authorship are replaced by a creative partnership, with startling results. Working across a wide variety of media, the artists employ it to stand as a portal that cuts through different cognitive worlds and uses it to break down barriers and lazy definitions between traditional visual and neurological pathways. The exhibition includes drawings, collages, paintings and sculptures that were made before during and after the production of their award-winning film Diseased and Disorderly, which will also be shown. Tell-Tale Heads from the film are let loose through the galleries en route to the Tell-Tale Rooms Virtual Reality Experience which will also inhabit the gallery further breaking down the barriers between the artists and the worlds they have created. This exhibition aims to firmly confront the idea that this kind of collaboration is unequal and instead looks to celebrate diversity within collaboration and to let every voice rise up equally. Here the freedom to create is an open door through which many people can enter in their own way. The exhibition not only gives a platform to the different voices that come to us in singular and complex ways it gives you access to the diverse world people around you inhabit, which are so often overlooked.

“They make art as they breathe, hard and fast and memorable; paintings, postcards, installations, rants, poems and freewheeling film ‘songs’…. Eden ventriloquizes her father to provide the written text for her drawings and paintings that are already replete with meaning…. she provides a commentary and series of foot-notes for the Grand Projects that her father is undertaking…. An agenda or appendix in a different form and much truer or closer to the original sign makings and drawings on the walls of caves….” - Iain Sinclair.
“Andrew Kötting has been making films for a long time. But are his films even films at all? Or are they by-products, documenting other processes, their purpose known only to the artist himself? To me the film Gallivant seemed immediately one of the greatest things any human being had ever made. We spend a lot of time peering over our shoulders at the artists we’ve lost, forgetting that, if we look for them, some of the greatest are amongst us now.” - Stewart Lee.

Andrew and Eden Kötting are part of The Project Art Works collective, who were nominated for the Turner Prize in 2021. As part of their Turner exhibition they showed a constructed space that held a physical and digital archive from over 4,000 works by neurodivergent artists and makers over two decades. The archive embodies a visible trace of people who are often hidden in the world. Andrew and Eden Kötting were the focus of two episodes of Radio 4’s Film Programme in 2021 when they moved from their studio in the Old Town Hastings to their new one on The Ponswood Industrial Estate in St Leonards-on-Sea. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000v9c7

Diseased and Disorderly is a film released in 2021 directed by Andrew Kötting in which Neurodivergent artist Eden Kötting, who was born with Joubert Syndrome, takes the viewer on a journey into her reality through her collages, self-portraits, and still-life drawings. It was funded by the BFI and the National Lottery.

BOB MOULD Husker-dooby-dooby-doo JUNE 9^th Brighton Komedia, 10^th Ramsgate Music Hall, 12^th B’ham Digbeth Mill, 13^th S’hampton Engine Rooms, 14^th Oxford Academy, 16^th London Islington Assembly, 17^th Nottingham Rescue, 18^th Stoke On Trent Sugar Mill, 20^th Bristol Thekla, 22^nd Glasgow Oran Moor

THE FALLEN LEAVES Top punk-mod gentlemen entertainers. JUNE 11^th London 100 Club, AUGUST 21^st London Putney Half Moon, SEPT 10^TH London Camden Dublin Castle, 17^th Lewes Con Club

MORPHOGENESIS - ORIGINAL LINE-UP OF ART NOISE LEGENDS June 12^th Café Oto London

Ben Moor. The storytelling surrealist is out and about in many different iterations.

Tuesday 12^th & Weds 13th July 2022 19.30 PRONOUN TROUBLE

HEN AND CHICKENS THEATRE BAR, HIGHBURY, LONDON N5

An Edinburgh slot for my "lecture" about cartoons, friendship and lectures has yet to be confirmed at time of writing, but if you haven't seen it, these dates offer you a chance to embrace the offbeat.

Thursday 14th July 2022 19.30 WHO HERE'S LOST?

HEN AND CHICKENS THEATRE BAR, HIGHBURY, LONDON N5

An Edinburgh preview show at this lovely pub theatre.

Friday 15th July 2022 19.30 COMEDY DOUBLE BILL - WASP IN A CARDIGAN & WHO HERE'S LOST?

HEN AND CHICKENS THEATRE BAR, HIGHBURY, LONDON N5

Another Edinburgh preview, this time in a Double Bill with the wonderful Joanna Neary and her fantastic show full of characters, song and dance and delight.

Saturday 16th July 2022 18.30 BOOKTALKBOOKTALKBOOK

HEN AND CHICKENS THEATRE BAR, HIGHBURY, LONDON N5

Described by Stewart Lee as "a book talk that swallows itself in a hall of mirrors full of Russian dolls," this is also hopefully on its way to the Edinburgh Fringe - more details to follow.

LONG RYDERS Country-punks JUNE 17^TH & 18^th London Under The Bridge

MAMMOTH PENGUINS Queens of indue JUNE 23^RD London Lexington

THE GOON SAXAustralian indie rockers JUNE 23^rd M’cr Ritz, 24^th Glasgow QMU, 28^th Bristol Motion & Marble, 29^th London Forum, 30^th Brighton Chalk. JULY 4^th London Lexington

ALASDAIR ROBERTS Scottish troubadour JUNE 25^TH London West Hampstead Arts. JULY 7^th Falmouth Cornish Bank. SEPT 3^rd Cardiff Chapter.

DARREN HAYMAN Breton-capped indie troubadour JUNE 24^th London Lexington, 28^th Newcastle Cumberland Arms, 29^th - 30th M’cr Gullivers

ELIZA CARTHY English folk godhead back in active service JUNE 28^th Leicester Musician. JULY 16^th London Union Chapel. NOV 28^TH Birmningham Glee, 30^th Cardiff Glee. DEC 5^th Cambridge Junction

EARL OKIN The mouth trumpeter runs amok. JULY 1st - The Terrace, 2, Church Plain, Loddon, Norfolk, NR14 6EX. www.shaftofwit.com/music
2nd - The Secret Garden, Mile Tree Lane, Wisbech, Cambridgeshire, PE 13 4TR.

www.shaftofwit.com/music;
16th - The Corner House, 116, Douglas Road, Surbiton, KT6 7SB;

SEPTEMBER 2022
11th - Charity Jazz/Cabaret Show, Norwich Playhouse, 42 - 58 St George's Street, Norwich, Norfolk, NR3 1AB, Booking line: 01603.63000

RICHARD DAWSON & CIRCLE Geordie art-folkster jams with Finnish acid-rockers JULY 6^th London Scala, 7^th Leeds Belgrave, 8^th M’cr Gorilla, 8^th Digbeth Supersonic, 12^th Newcastle Boiler Shop, 14^th Stirling Rabbithole. AUGUST 26^TH Barrow-in-Furness Krankenhaus.

M WARD Giant Sand graduated songwriter and guitarist JULY 1^st M’cr Night & Day, 9^th Nottingham Bodega, 10^th London Jazz Café, 12^th Bristol Thekla, 13^th Leeds Brudenell, 15^th Glasgow Oran Moor

BEVIS FROND One of local show by psyche-rock superstars. JULY 10^th Hastings Crypt

MDC Hardcore punk originators JULY 27^TH Southampton 1865, AUGUST 1^st London New Cross Inn

ACID MOTHERS’ TEMPLE Japanese acid all-fathers OCTOBER 9^th Birmingham Norton’s, 10^th York Crescent, 11^th Glasgow Hug & Pint, 12^th Newcastle Star and Shadow, 13^th Salford White Hotel, 16^th Preston Continental, 19^th Bristol Lanes, 20^th Brighton Komedia, 21^st London Studio 9294

DREAM SYNDICATE Blue collar paisley underground psychedelic explorers in imperial career phase. OCTOBER 18^TH London Lafayette

RECC’D INTERNETS, YOUTUBES AND PODCASTS

Rosie Holt’s Youtube characters *****
Ogmios School of Zen Motoring *****
Limmy’s review of After Life *****
The Exploding Heads
Alasdair Beckett-King’s various things *****
VonViddy (TikTok)
Eleanor Morton - Jack The Ripper (but shot in portrait!?)
Paddy Young - Posh actor in Northern Film
Dan March - British Tourism films
Tom Little
Sooz Kempner as Nadine Dorries on Twitter

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12. IN OUR COVID ERA LAMENTATIONS 2022

Sydney Poitier - woke actor (1927)
Magwa - woke Cambodian landmine hunting rat (2013)
Burke Shelley - bass Budgie (1950)
Ronnie Spector - woke Ronette (1943)
Rachel Nagy - Detroit Cobra (1975)
Robin Le Mesurier - Womble (1954)
Andy Ross - Disco Zombie/nice man of Britpop (1956)
Barry Cryer - King Of Comedy (1935)
Norma Waterson - Mighty Folk Matriarch (1939)
John Nolan - man Behind The Magnolia Curtain (1966)
Betty Davis - She Might Get Picked Up! (1944)
Ivan Reitman - He was not afraid of no ghost! (1946)
Mark Lanegan - Screaming Tree rehabilitee (1964)
Bruce Anderson - MX-80 man (1950)
Anna Karen - ‘70s public transport icon (1936)
Sam Lay - Howlin’ Wolf/Butterfield/Dylan drums (1935)
Mikey Chung - Reggae session regular (1950)
Fred Van Hove - Belgian free-jazz stringbender (1937)
Ian McDonald - Crimson saxophonist King (1949)
Gary Brooker - Synesthesiac Hackney musician (1945)
Nicky Tesco - Suburban soundman/comedy fan (1956)
Dallas Good - Sadies guitar slinger (1974)
Philip Jeck - Art Noiseman (1952)
Margaret Curtis - Callanish visionary (1942)
Jordan - punk fashionista (1955)
David McKee - Then the shopkeeper appeared (1935)
Chris Bailey - Lordly protopunk, wit, raconteur (1957)
Gilbert Gottfried - That ‘Too Soon’ guy (1955)
Audrey Henshall - Scottish Neolithic expert (1927)
Eric Chappell - Rising Damp (1933)
Klaus Schultze - Tangerine Joker (1947)
Neal Adams - Woke progressive comics creator (1941)
Judy Henske - Greenwich psych-folkstress (1936)
George Perez - Best Avengers artist ever (1954)
Don Craine - deerstalking Downliner (1945)
Richard Polodor - acid rock engineer (1936)
Gavin Martin - music rag wit (1962)
Fred Ward - Worm Warrior (1942)
Vangelis - Apocalypso-Maestro (1943)
Bob Neuwirth - Gelb/Dylan adjacent beatnik (1939)
Cathal Coughlan - Microdisney Man (1960)
Rick Price - Move bassist (1944)
Ric Parnell - Tap/Rooster drummer & gardener
Alan White - Ono drums (1949)
Ray Liotta - has let himself go (1954)
Ronnie Hawkins - Canadian rock wellspring (1935)
Harrison Birtwistle - When Things Fall Over (1934)

Book review: Stewart Lee's How I Escaped My Certain Fate: The Life And Deaths Of A Stand-Up Comedian (Faber and Faber, £12.99) gives readers a fascinating glimpse into how much heart and soul one man puts into making people laugh.

Stewart Lee’s analytical, patience-testing brand of pedantic comedy has earned him legendary status on the circuit.

Yet his journey to fame has been far from easy. Back in 2001, knackered and disenchanted with the art form, he quit stand-up.

How I Escaped My Certain Fate charts Lee’s return to the (fairly) big time, via a surprising route that included him being prosecuted for blasphemy.

Fundamentalist Christians may have taken umbrage with his Jerry Springer: The Opera but it reopened Lee’s eyes to comedy’s possibilities.

Three shows later – transcripts of which are in the book – he was back on top and back on telly. Lee is a master of deconstruction, a device he uses to great effect in his stand-up.

He uses it here too; tons of footnotes expound bits of his set and provide insights – often hilarious – into the way his idiosyncratic brain works.

This excellent book allows the reader a fascinating glimpse into how much heart and soul one man puts into making people laugh.

1. ARTS EMERGENCY IN AN EMERGENCY

ARTS EMERGENCY is a charity I have done stuff for in the past. Its work is more important than ever and the situation for the people it helps has worsened considerably since it was set up. Please help fund them.

Neil Art says, “Arts Emergency is a charity and national movement providing an emergency response to the entrenchment of privilege in UK arts and culture. Our free, year-long mentoring programme matches underrepresented teenagers with a volunteer mentor in their dream career (from journalism to gaming to comedy) - providing real, practical knowledge and connections. And then we support them for another nine years as they take their onward steps in the creative & cultural industries. Arts Emergency is people-powered and we rely heavily on monthly donations. Please consider donating £2 a month to help us grow our ‘alternative old boys network’ and change culture for the better.”

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2. A GLITCH WITH THE SEARCH FUNCTIONALITY

“A glitch with the search functionality” meant that none of my six dates to the Royal Festival Hall have been showing up on the South Bank Centre website if you search for me.
We had 12000+ tickets to sell. 95% seem to have gone, though there might be some left for the matinees. If you were puzzled as to whether I am on there in July, I am, but you may have to just go to the calendar page and scroll to find me. I try to play there if they will have me as, unlike other big venues, they can keep prices down and don’t offer an obvious and deliberate back door to touts and secondary markets.

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3. NEW MERCH

Along with WAXFACE’s usual line of Stewart Lee merch there are new for 2025 t-shirts and hoodies on the Man-Wulf theme, all of the highest quality. I’d wear them myself but I’d look arrogant. Waste the money your Nan gave you for Xmas here

wax-face.com/stewart-lee

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4. MAN-WULF BY THE PRIMEVALS

Glasgow’s garage punk veterans The Primevals announce a new single as featured in the new Stewart Lee vs The Man-Wulf U.K. tour.
There are 3 versions
Side a I’m The Man-Wulf
Side b I’m The Man-Wulf (long nail edit)
Plus a 9 minute I’m The Man-Wulf (long nail version) (I LOOOOOVE THIS!!)

Vinyl sides a&b were released on a 7” 45 in January.

See The Primevals live JUNE 27^th London Hope & Anchor, 28^th Preston Ferret.

There’s now a cool arty video for the song too

www.youtube.com/watch?v=yazuiF0OiAI

https://primevals.bandcamp.com

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5. BASIC LEE IS ON NOW TV

https://www.nowtv.com/ie/watch/entertainment/collections/ultimate-comedy/asset/stewart-lee-basic-lee.../A5EK6949itCVNKaChrDXN

You’ll have to subscribe though.

Here is a thorough, and not entirely positive, review from a thoughtful young man on Youtube, still better than most pro-critics.
https://youtu.be/kdOYgqCzJ4s?si=1uIZBn8tMWsAiS0h

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6. STEWART LEE VS THE MAN-WULF

John Mackay & Sally Homer, in association with Debi Allen/Curtis Brown present

STEWART LEE vs THE MAN-WULF


BRAND NEW SHOW

NB: TICKETS FOR THESE SHOWS WILL REMAIN AT THE ADVERTISED PRICE. SURGE PRICING IS IMMORAL AND TICKETMASTER AND OASIS ARE WANKERS, ENCOURAGED BY SUCCESSIVE TORY CULTURE SECRETARIES IN THEIR CRIMINAL ENDEAVOURS.

In this brand-new show, Lee shares his stage with a tough-talking werewolf comedian who hates humanity. The Man-Wulf lays down a ferocious comedy challenge to the culturally irrelevant and physically enfeebled Lee. Can the beast inside us all be silenced with the silver bullet of Lee's unprecedentedly critically acclaimed style of stand-up.

The show will tour the UK throughout 2025 and 2026.

I AM VERY PLEASED WITH HOW THIS SHOW IS SHAPING UP - PRESS IS COLLECTING HERE.

July 2025

Saturday 5th July 2025 - Royal Festival Hall, Southbank, London - TICKETS
Sunday 6th July 2025 (Matinee)- Royal Festival Hall, Southbank, London - TICKETS
Sunday 6th July 2025 - Royal Festival Hall, Southbank, London - TICKETS
Saturday 12th July 2025 - Royal Festival Hall, Southbank, London - TICKETS
Sunday 13th July 2025 - (Matinee) Royal Festival Hall, Southbank, London - TICKETS
Sunday 13th July 2025 - Royal Festival Hall, Southbank, London - TICKETS

September 2025

Monday 8th September 2025 - Lighthouse, Poole - TICKETS
Tuesday 9th September 2025 - Lighthouse, Poole - TICKETS
Wednesday 10th September 2025 - Hall For Cornwall, Truro - TICKETS
Thursday 11th September 2025 - Northcott Theatre, Exeter - TICKETS
Friday 12th September 2025 - Northcott Theatre, Exeter - TICKETS
Saturday 13th September 2025 - Westlands Entertainment Venue, Yeovil - TICKETS
Sunday 14th September 2025 - Westlands Entertainment Venue, Yeovil - TICKETS
Tuesday 16th September 2025 - New Theatre, Cardiff - TICKETS
Wednesday 17th September 2025 - New Theatre, Cardiff - TICKETS
Thursday 18th September 2025 - New Theatre, Cardiff - TICKETS
Friday 19th September 2025 - New Theatre, Cardiff - TICKETS
Saturday 20th September 2025 - New Theatre, Cardiff - TICKETS
Wednesday 24th September 2025 - Hippodrome, Darlington - TICKETS
Thursday 25th September 2025 - Gala, Durham - TICKETS
Friday 26th September 2025 - Theatre Royal, Glasgow - TICKETS
Saturday 27th September 2025 - Playhouse, Edinburgh - TICKETS
Sunday 28th September 2025 - His Majesty’s Theatre, Aberdeen - TICKETS

October 2025

Friday 3rd October 2025 - Aberystwyth Arts Centre – Great Hall, Aberystwyth - TICKETS
Tuesday 7th October 2025 - Milton Keynes Theatre, Milton Keynes - TICKETS
Wednesday 8th October 2025 - Milton Keynes Theatre, Milton Keynes - TICKETS
Thursday 9th October 2025 - Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford - TICKETS
Friday 10th October 2025 - Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford - TICKETS
Saturday 11th October 2025 - Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford - TICKETS
Wednesday 15th October 2025 - Grand Theatre, Swansea - TICKETS
Thursday 16th October 2025 - Grand Theatre, Swansea - TICKETS
Friday 17th October 2025 - Bristol Beacon, Bristol - TICKETS
Saturday 18th October 2025 - Bristol Beacon, Bristol - TICKETS
Tuesday 21st October 2025 - Storyhouse, Chester - TICKETS
Wednesday 22nd October 2025 - Storyhouse, Chester - TICKETS
Thursday 23rd October 2025 - Opera House, Buxton - TICKETS
Friday 24th October 2025 - Opera House, Buxton - TICKETS
Saturday 25th October 2025 - The Baths Hall, Scunthorpe - TICKETS
Wednesday 29th October 2025 - Cast, Doncaster - TICKETS
Thursday 30th October 2025 - Cast, Doncaster - TICKETS
Friday 31st October 2025 - Harrogate Theatre, Harrogate - TICKETS

November 2025

Saturday 1st November 2025 - Harrogate Theatre, Harrogate - TICKETS
Sunday 2nd November 2025 - Harrogate Theatre, Harrogate - TICKETS
Monday 3rd November 2025 - Tyne Theatre & Opera House, Newcastle Upon Tyne - TICKETS
Tuesday 4th November 2025 - Tyne Theatre & Opera House, Newcastle Upon Tyne - TICKETS
Friday 7th November 2025 - The Anvil, Basingstoke - TICKETS
Saturday 8th November 2025 - Rose Theatre, Kingston - TICKETS
Sunday 9th November 2025 - Rose Theatre, Kingston - TICKETS
Tuesday 11th November 2025 - Brighton Dome, Brighton - TICKETS
Wednesday 12th November 2025 - Brighton Dome, Brighton - TICKETS
Thursday 13th November 2025 - Brighton Dome, Brighton - TICKETS
Friday 14th November 2025 - Brighton Dome, Brighton - TICKETS
Saturday 15th November 2025 - Brighton Dome, Brighton - TICKETS
Monday 17th November 2025 - Everyman Theatre, Cheltenham - TICKETS
Tuesday 18th November 2025 - Everyman Theatre, Cheltenham - TICKETS
Wednesday 19th November 2025 - Everyman Theatre, Cheltenham - TICKETS

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7. Snowflake/Tornado

Stewart’s 2019-2022 touring show Snowflake/Tornado, which was originally broadcast as a BBC Special in Autumn 2022 is now available to buy or rent “on demand” from www.mediagarageproductions.com

Both shows also appear to be free as part of the current Amazon Prime rosta, but buy them from us to defeat American fascism.

We are currently preparing a physical release of these shows but it’s got delayed as I got pneumonia and have been bogged down in picking through a wealth of possible, and very exciting, audio extras, where the material worked much better than in the broadcast show itself.

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8. BENEFITS / FESTIVAL STAND-UP SETS 2025

(the usual 30 mins greatest hits shit)

18^TH – 20^TH JULY Toldpuddle Martyrs’ Festival, Tolpuddle, Dorset. I will be doing 20 mins on a mixed bill here one night. Looks great. https://www.tolpuddlemartyrs.org.uk/festival

14^th – 17^th AUGUST Green Man, Bannau Brycheiniog. Alan Sparkhawk, Big Special, Boss Morris, Bridget Hayden, Broadside Hacks, Daisy Rickman, Gwenno, Asha Puthli, Kneecap, Richard Dawson, Wet Leg, Yard Act

22^nd – 24^th August Krankenhaus, Muncaster Castle, Lake District Sea Power, Arab Strap, the legendary Throwing Muses, Jane Weaver, The Lovely Lovely Lovely Eggs, the awesome Richard Dawson, the amazing Nightingales who are currently ON FIRE!, that King Rocker film, the quirky Personal Trainer, the mesmerising Ex-Easter Island Head, the hypnotic Alison Cotton. I will also be being interviewed with Michael Cumming and The Nightingales by Jude Rogers. www.krankenhausfestival.com

28^th – 31^st August End Of The Road, Larmer Tree Gardens, Dorset. Black Country New Road, Goat, Lisa O’Neill, Throwing Muses, Vieux Farka Toure, The Bug Club, Ex-Easter Island Head, Broadside Hacks celebrate The Incredible String Band, Jackie-O Motherfucker, Six Organs Of Admittance, The New Eves, Jim Ghedi, Bridget Hayden, Daisy Rickman, Tropical Fuck Storm, Adam Buxton, Celya AB, Gina Birch, I will also be interviewing Black Country New Road on stage.

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9. IDLER FEST 11-13 JULY, HAMPSTEAD HEATH, LONDON

I will be amongst the knobheads being grilled at the Idler magazine’s annual 3 day garden party. It’s a lovely event. “FENTON HOUSE & GARDEN, HAMPSTEAD, LONDON. The Idler Festival is a weekend of philosophy and merriment, comedy, talks, music, workshops and salons in the bucolic surroundings of Fenton House and gardens near Hampstead Heath.

You’ll be entertained and enlightened by the Idler’s favourite thinkers, comedians, writers, and musicians. There’ll be walks, ukulele, bibliotherapy, agony aunts, beekeeping and plenty of time to loaf under the apple trees. There’ll be dancing lessons on the lawn, loafing to DJs in the orchard and salons in the house. Join us for our dream garden party.

Headlining a stellar line up will be comedians Michael Palin and Stewart Lee and former Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams. Plus Daisy Dunn, Miranda Sawyer, a mini pilgrimage with Guy Hayward, evensong on Sunday and much more to be announced. “Britain’s best arts and literary festival,” Spectator”

https://www.idler.co.uk/festival/

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10. THE *UNTSIAD

The *Untsiad at The Cockpit Theatre, London on 20th July. In the 1720s, Alexander Pope, one of Britain's greatest ever poets, commenced work on "THE DUNCIAD", his blisteringly satirical attack on all the contemporary hacks he hated, those hopeless literary dunces who prospered at his expense in the service of the Great Goddess Dulness.

300 years later, Andy Croft Esq., of SMOKESTACK BOOKS, North-East England's premier Marxist-Leninist Poetry Imprint, commissioned Master Martin Rowson, caricaturist, scribbler, collagist, ranter & SMOKESTACK POET, to reimagine Pope's MASTERPIECE, widening his remit to traduce the Legion Dunces of all kinds that infest the MODERN AGE.
This Master Rowson duly did in 2050 lines of furious heroic couplets, published in Dec. MMXXIV A.D. as "THE "UNTSIAD", perforce to sell the thing through the Rascal Bezos's foul AMAZON.

FOR YOUR DELIGHT. "THE *UNTSIAD" has been adapted by Mister Nicholas Revell & The Author into A PERFORMANCE PIECE FOR 12 VOICES, with Nicholas REVELL & Rosie HOLT, Mr Jack KLAFF, Miss Clare FERGUSON-WALKER, Mr Mark Steel, Mr Stewart LEE, Mr Arthur SMITH, Commissar Andy CROFT, Dame Eliza CARTHY MBE, Mr Tim MCINNERNY, Master Matt COPSON, Martin Rowson

https://www.thecockpit.org.uk/show/re-enchant_july

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11. COMPANY 2025 FOR DEREK BAILEY

I am compering 2 nights of this celebration of the late Derek Bailey at Café Oto, London, Dec 15^th-16^TH

https://www.cafeoto.co.uk/events/company-2025-for-derek-bailey/

MONDAY 15 DECEMBER 2025, 7.30PM
COMPANY 2025 (FOR DEREK BAILEY) – DAY ONE

£20 £18 ADVANCE £12 MEMBERS

TUESDAY 16 DECEMBER 2025, 7.30PM
COMPANY 2025 (FOR DEREK BAILEY) – DAY TWO

£20 £18 ADVANCE £12 MEMBERS

Derek Bailey formed COMPANY in 1976. The premise was an effectively simple one; invite a group of musicians to improvise together, in various ad-hoc formations, with as little pre-planning as possible. COMPANY 2025 (for Derek Bailey) celebrates this endeavour, and also marks the twentieth anniversary of Derek’s passing.

Khabat Abas (cello)
Julia Brüssel (violin)
John Butcher (saxophones)
Teresa Hackel (recorders)
Charles Hayward (drums)
Petra Heller (tap dance)
Pat Thomas (piano, electronics)
Matt Wand (electronics)
Alex Ward (electric guitar, clarinet)
Mark Wastell (percussion)

Compered by Stewart Lee

COMPANY 2025 (for Derek Bailey) includes musicians that participated in original COMPANY events organised by Derek; John Butcher (1990/91/92/95), Pat Thomas (1990/91), Alex Ward (1988/90/94, 2002), Mark Wastell (1999, 2000/01) and Matt Wand (1992/93), alongside performers new to the form; Khabat Abas, Charle Hayward, Teresa Heckel, Petra Heller and Julia Brüssel. Over two evenings, these ten musicians will combine in various group formations, chosen by a particular individual just moments before going on stage. The whole event will be compered by Derek Bailey devotee, Stewart Lee. COMPANY 2025 (for Derek Bailey) curated by John Butcher, Tim Fletcher, Ian Greaves and Mark Wastell.

And here’s me winning Celebrity Mastermind. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jk_l1pKTUZg

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12. I ARROGANTLY RECOMMEND

ITHELL COLQUHOUN/THE NIGHT SIDE OF NATURE. Two Colquhoun canvasses are the clever hook to see works by a number of new female mystic artists, on sale at Purdy Hicks Gallery, 25 Thurloe St, London SW72LQ, June 12^th-August 9^th.

ITHELL COLQUHOUN – BETWEEN TWO WORLDS. This vast, timely, majestic, bewitching and unmissable career retrospective moves from Cornwall to Tate Britain from June 13^th – October 19^th and you can hear me waffling on on the accompanying audio app too. https://www.tate.org.uk/whats-on/tate-britain/burra-and-colquhoun

BEN MOOR – THREE THING DAY. The wry wordsmith has another linguistically lush meta-fiction in progress at London’s Hen & Chickens theatre in Islington. July 8^th & 14^th (7.30) and 20^th (3.00).

SKEP WAX WEEKENDER July 17^th – 20^th, Islington, London

Four nights of radical indiepop - Thursday and Friday evening at the Lexington, Saturday evening at Islington Town Hall, Sunday (4pm) back at The Lexington: see full line-up below. The 'Weekender' ticket will admit you to all four nights. Day tickets are available for each of the four shows.
Thursday (The Lexington) Jeanines, Sassyhiya, Panic Pocket
Friday (The Lexington) The Would-Be-Goods, The Orchids, Swansea Sound
Saturday (Islington Assembly Room) Heavenly, Lightheaded, Crumbs
Sunday (The Lexington), Marlody, The Gentle Spring, Special Friend
Venue addresses: The Lexington, 96-98 Pentonville Rd, London, N1 9JB.
Islington Assembly Hall, Upper St, London, N1 2UD. (The venues are less than a mile apart.)
Heavenly's new 7" single will go on sale at this event.
Ticket prices include £1.50 Venue Levy for Islington Town Hall.
The Lexington is 18+ admission, The Islington Assembly Hall is 16+

https://wegottickets.com/f/13685

MARTIN SIMPSON Folk guitarist who mines the hidden connections between British and American traditional musics with taste and virtuosity. JULY 21^st Croydon Ruskin House. SEPT 6^th Howden Shire Hall

DAVID LANCE CALLAHAN The acoustic minimalist troubadour and chronicler of crumbling Albion continues his sacred trek. AUGUST: 1^st EDINBURGH Leith Depot; 3^rd THE CHILTERNS Awamu Together festival; 9^th PRESTON POPFEST; 10^th NEWCASTLE Cumberland Arms

SEPTEMBER: 19^th NOTTINGHAM JT Soar; 20^th SWANSEA Tangled Parrot; 21^st BRISTOL Knowle Constitutional Club; 28^th LONDON Lexington Resonance FM benefit with Jowe Head and Luke Haines etc.

MILLIONS OF DEAD COPS / MDC American hardcore heroes of NO KKK NO FASCIST USA chant fame. AUG 4^th – New Cross Inn, London

THE NEW CHRISTS!!!!! The audaciously named Australian Detroit-style punk legends reform and tour the UK. AUG 13^th M’cr Night & Day, 14^th Glasgow Stereo, 15^th London Oslo.

MISTY AT FIFTY! Misty in Roots, one of Britain’s greatest home-grown radical roots rockers hit their half century. If you don’t go YOU ARE LIKE A CABBAGE IN THIS SOCIETY! SEPT 13^th Bristol Lantern, OCT 3^rd Reading Sub89, 24^TH London Electric Ballroom, 30^th Brighton Concorde

EDWYN COLLINS Orange Juice’s indiepop originator SEPT 27^th Glasgow Theatre Royal, 29^th Buxton Opera House, 30^th Bath Komedia. OCT 2^nd S’hampton Central Hall, 3^rd Brighton St Georges, 4^th London RFH, 6^th Norwich Epic, 7^th Manchester Albert Hall, 8^th Newcastle Boiler Shop

14 ICE BEARS Unexpected re-emergence of Rob Secula’s lysergic proto-shoegazers. OCT 2^nd The Victoria, Hackney, London.

THE EX 3 DAY RESIDENCY. Holland’s amazing anarcho-jazzers The Ex have a 3 day residency at London’s Café Oto OCT 2^ND -4^TH. All nights have sold out, except the first one, which I am compering, so make of that what you will. https://www.cafeoto.co.uk/events/the-ex-three-day-residency-25/

THE MAGPIE ARC Country-folk-indie conglomerate. OCT 17^th Cast Doncaster, 18^th  Indoor Festival of Folk (North), Victoria Hall, Settle (with Edgelarks, Frankie Archer, The Bookshop Band, The Magpie Arc and Ashley Hutchings in conversation with Matthew Bannister), 19^th Cluny 2 Newcastle,  23rd South Street Reading, 24th Water Rats London, 25th Ragged Bear Festival, Nuneaton (with The Men They Couldn’t Hang, Greenman Rising, Gaz Brookfield), 26th Acapela Studio Cardiff, 30th Gloucester Guildhall, NOV 1^st Met Bury, 2nd Robin 2 Bilston

THE LOVELY EGGS’ 20^TH ANNIVERSARY TOUR Durable art-punk DIY duo continue to dazzle into their third decade. OCT 22^nd Edinburgh Belle Angele, 23^rd Glasgow Oran Moor, 24^th Newcastle Uni, 25^th Leeds Brudenell, 26^th Brighton Concorde 2, 27^th London Garage, 28^th Cardiff Globe, 29^th B’ham Castle & Falcon, 30^th M’cr Academy 2, 31^st Nottingham Metronome, NOV 1^st Bristol Trinity. I will open for them at the Brighton show.

BOB MOULD Hardcore punk pioneer of Husker Du/Sugar lineage. NOV 18^th Glasgow Oran Mor, 19^th Leeds Brudenell, 20^th London Dome

SAINTS 73-79 Superb! The original line-up of the Australian Punk progenitors, but with Mudhoney's Howlin’ Mark Arm deputising for the departed Chris Bailey (a gentleman and a scholar who once came to one of my shows and told me his tales afterwards!). His original co-writer and co-guitarist Ed Kuepper remains undimmed and the authentic ‘70s rhythm section will rattle your bones. NOVEMBER 21^ST Bristol Trinity, 22nd Leeds Project, 23^rd Glasgow Garage, 24^th M’cr Academy 2, 26^th London Camden Electric

DREAM SYNDICATE You must see this enduring American rock institution who impossibly combine free-jazz styled freakouts with classic solid literary songwriting. JAN 30^TH London Garage, FEB 1^st M’cr Band On The Wall.

KIKI AND HERB Superficially they may look like the kind of standard kitsch camp cabaret act designed for Hen Nights and weekend bohemians that is Soho Theatre's bread and butter, but Kiki and Herb have a dangerous damaged manic downtown punk edge that is more '70s New York No Wave than Las Vegas Lounge. They don't make them like this anymore. Maybe they never did. Soho Theatre Walthamstow JULY 3rd-5th. https://sohotheatre.com/events/kiki-and-herb-are-trying/

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12. IN OUR LAMENTATIONS 2025

Barre Phillips (Jazz bassman, 1934)
Bob Grover (Brighton Piranha, 1956)
Riro (Japanese sea otter, 2007)
Nora Orlandi (Spaghetti symphonist, 1933)
Ed Askew (Acid folkie, 1940)
Tony Slattery (The vile blows of the world made him reckless, 1959)
David Lynch (He erased our heads, 1946)
Landy Randerson (Museum access pioneer, 1949)
Garth Hudson (Bandolier, 1937)
Brian Murphy (Instantly aged actor, 1932)
Rab MacWilliam (Hackney historian, 1951)
Barry Goldberg (His flag was electric, 1941)
Peter Yarrow (He left on a jetplane, 1938)
Snowy Fleet (Easybeater, 1939)
Jamie Muir (Absolute fucking rhythmical genius, 1942)
Mike Ratledge (Moon in June Soft Machine man, 1943)
Gabriel Yacoub (Malicorne muso of French folk, 1952)
Bill Fay (Christian mystic songwriter seer, 1943)
Roberta Flack (Made Ewan MacColl sexy, 1937)
Gene Hackman (an actor who knew when not to,1930)
Jay Rayner’s Observer restaurant column (1999)
David Johansen (New York Doll, 1950)
Bill Dare (Even his socks were funny, 1959)
Johnny Green (A gentleman, a dandy, and always a pleasure,)
Ken Parker (The Blue Bender, 1943)
Edweena Banger (Her nose bled, 1959)
John Cassady (Planetary penman, 1971)
Joey Molland (His finger was bad, 1947)
Peter Farrelly (Fruuppster, 1949)
Jesse Colin Young (He got it together, 1941)
Brian James (Lord of The Damned, 1955)
Roy Ayers (Good vibes, 1940)
Bob Rupe (Brilliant Gutterball and Silos bottom end)
Nadia Cassini (Starcrash starlet, 1949)
Nike Arrighi (The Devil Rides Out, 1944)
Bill Smith (Original Corrie, 1936)
DG Hessayon (Garden expert who answered my questions, 1928)
Elliot Ingber (Winged Eel Fingerling, 1941)
Leanne Cowie (Scientific drummer, 1964?)
George Foreman (Meat griller, 1949)
Michael Hurley (He’s gone back to Capistrano, 1941)
Dave Allen (At Home He’s A Bassist, 1955)
Alastair MacKinven (Country teaser and artist, 1971)
Clem Burke (Magic Christian Plimsoul & Elvis Ramone, 1954)
Larry Tamblyn (He loved that dirty water, 1943)
Clive Revill (The Emperor strikes back, 1930)
Amadou Bagayoko (blind bluesman, 1955)
Max Romeo (Wet-dreaming devil chaser, 1944)
Clodagh Rogers (Northern Irish Spider-Woman, 1947)
Pope Francis (Relatively inoffensive pope, 1936)
Eleonora Giorgi (Young, violent and dangerous, 1953)
David Thomas (Ube Pere, 1953)
Mike Peters (He alarmed Wales, 1959)
James Baker (Hoodoo victim of beastly scientists, 1954)
Larry Lee (Ozark Mountain Devil, 1947)
Wizz Jones (The Lazy Farmer, 1939)
David Briggs (He signalled the test of our whistles, 1943)
Kimble Rendall (Hoodoo Guru from year zero, 1957)
Jack Katz (First Kingdom comics guy, 1927)
Ed Smylie (Saved Apollo 13 with sellotape, 1914)
George Wendt (Barfly Freak Fan, 1948)
Peter David (He turned Hulk grey for peanuts, 1956)
Loretta Switt (Hilarious dish of MASH, 1937)
Louis Moholo (S African freedom-drummer, 1940)
Hunt Powers (Spaghetti star, 1929)

“Gentlemen,” began the Baron to his two companions, faces flickering in the guttering coals, “I beg your indulgence on a very peculiar matter, and I would ask you not to mock me, nor worse, to think me quite mad, until you have considered fully the whole of my sorry tale. For if what I am about to say is true, then I am of the mind that it has the capacity to be the ruination of all of us.”

It was the evening of the winter solstice, and time once more for the quarterly meeting of three somewhat awkward acquaintances, bound by shared shame to a secrecy they regularly reassembled to reaffirm. Before falling upwards, as men of his birth do, their host Lord James, the 5th Baron of his line, had managed a nightspot in the stews south of the river named the Ministry of Sound, in a foreshadowing of his belatedly discovered vocation. For during the Great Pandemic, the Baron was to be appointed minister for a short-lived medical novelty called Test and Trace, by the then prime minister, Letterbox Turds of Brightwell-cum-Sotwell, himself also present, tousled-haired and trousers stained as usual.

But that night the harsh winter cold bit into baronial bones, as frostily it would into peasant flesh, and as he poked the dying embers, the Baron knew what had to be said. “Tell me, gentlemen,” the Baron continued, casting his eye over the aforesaid Turds, and his diminutive prime ministerial successor, referred to only as the Banker, whose short legs dangled childishly over the edge of the armchair like worms, “do you think, in your wildest imaginings, it could be possible for an object so commonplace as a phone… to be haunted?”

Turds and the Banker were in no mood for Christmas parlour games. It had been a difficult week. During the pandemic certain monies had journeyed ambiguously through the companies of certain people. One, a common lingerie seller from the slums of Glasgow, who had been chosen, accommodated, rewarded and subsequently ennobled, precisely because she had seemed unlikely to attract suspicion, had made a fatal error, the Baroness conspicuously spending the sidelined sums quite publicly, disporting herself on a yacht in revealing swimwear and becoming the belated subject of no small amount of controversy. “I simply sought to distance myself from the Baroness,” began the Baron, “by sharing a message in which she did not make clear her financial links to the company we were publicly funding, but…”

“But…”, exclaimed Turds, suddenly realising the full implications of the Baron’s words, “the message you have shared dates from the period where the three of us agreed we had lost all our messages.” “Yes,” replied the Baron, ruefully, “that’s about the shape of it, Turds,” and he stoked the dying fire again, more in hope than expectation.

“But Baron!”, shrieked the Banker, hysterically, kicking his tiny legs furiously, “they know the messages aren’t lost now. We’re ruined! You fool!” And with that the Banker buried his little head in his soft hands, sobbing. “You can’t talk, Banker,” snapped Turds. “When you were questioned, you forgot the statement we’d agreed on – ‘It looks as though it’s something to do with the app going down and then, aaah, coming up again but somehow, ah, not it, it, it automatically erasing all the things, ah, between that date when it went down and the moment when it was last backed up, so I, I can’t give you the technical explanation but that’s the best I’m able to do’ – and just kept saying: ‘I don’t recall’ over and over again. But what I don’t understand, Baron, is how you accessed the messages. We agreed to put them, ah, so to speak, beyond use.”

The Baron’s face turned ashen and he drank deeply from a crystal glass of whisky, staring hollow-eyed into the last flickering flame, as the traffic at the junction of Theobalds Road and Gray’s Inn Road outside grew uncharacteristically silent for the hour. “That’s just it, Turds, old man,” he muttered, “I did. But they keep popping up on to my phone.” “Let me see!” snapped Turds, snatching up the offending item and turning it on, his fat eyes suddenly widening in horror as he scrolled the screen. The messages! Thousands of them! Thousands of deals! Thousands of deaths! Billions of pounds! “Destroy this phone, Baron, destroy it!” shouted Turds.

“That’s not the end of it, Turds, old boy,” gibbered the Baron, like a man witness to a horrific vision of such virulence he is no longer accountable to reason, “they’re everywhere.” And with that, the Baron flipped up the lid of his laptop and Turds saw those same swathes of incriminating texts rolling endlessly past, Saint Peter’s Book of Life aflame. The final flicker of fire in the grate suddenly died and the Banker burst into tears in the darkness, but as he did, the Baron’s television exploded into life, the flatscreen filling with disputed litanies of funnelled funds and the expendable dead.

“The dead!”, squealed the Banker, as Turds tried to slap the fear out of him, “The dead will not be silenced! The dead will speak and we must answer.” Then, with a crackling surge of arcane power, each of the Baron’s three devices burned out and the room went black. Turds smoothed out his shivering successor’s crumpled jacket and straightened his tie. “Probably a simple connectivity issue, Baron,” he suggested, unconvincingly. “I’ll have MI5 send round a sympathetic tech wallah. Toodle-oo.”

His guests hurriedly departed, the Baron stood alone at the window of his mansion block apartment, the whisky untouched in the glass he clasped in his cold and frozen hand. The sun began to climb over the Wren spires of the City, spires that rose like fingers, coming out from the damp earth and pointing for ever, fingers rising from the damp earth and pointing forever at him.

Dear Fans,

Yule Winterval is just around the corner!

And yet, for festive culture consumers the world of physical media seems to have disappeared.

But you can't give someone a measly download code for Christmas, can you, Mr Scrooge?

Media Garage are the official provider of all Stewart Lee physical media, except books.
The company operates out of an industrial unit in Southend, run by a man called Colin Dench, who for the whole festive season will be dressed as a Santa while he ships your orders of Xmas laffs worldwide!

We have already mailed parcels of fun to Japan, Finland, Switzerland, Germany, France, USA, Canada, New Zealand, and even Latvia!

So here's that link again

https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?me=A24E17ZJ7ONOJD&marketplaceID=A1F83G8C2ARO7P

Give the one you love a Stewart Lee CHRISTMAS with MEDIA GARAGE

Winterval is coming.
And the goose has diabetes.
Please consider buying
Stewart Lee's DVDs please.

Stew

“If you had to kill Stewart Lee how would you do it? Stab his eyes out? Shotgun to the knees? Brain with heavy object?” Xpijonipsy, Twitter, 16/10/19, since removed

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1) SNOWFLAKE/TORNAD0 - LIVE (London & Touring)

I THINK ALL LONDON DATES ARE NOW SOLD OUT BUT... THERE WILL BE SUPPLEMENTARY DATES AT THE ROYAL FESTIVAL HALL, LONDON, JUNE 27TH, 28TH AND JULY 1ST, 2ND, 3RD, AND THESE ARE ON SALE NOW.




I'm doing a new stand-up show for the back end of 2019 and the first half of 2020.

More national dates from Feb 2020 will be announced later in the year, I am going to do less shows than last time, but with longer runs in bigger rooms to hit the same demand.


I will film this show/these shows in the Summer of 2020 for offloading to whatever content platforms are still viable at that stage in late capitalism's technologically-driven cultural decline.

David Johnson & John Mackay in association with Debi Allen/Curtis Brown present
STEWART LEE - SNOWFLAKE/TORNADO.

Double-bill of two new 60-ish minute sets, back to back nightly from "the world's greatest living stand-up" (Times).



Tornado questions a shipwrecked Stew’s position in the comedy marketplace after Netflix mistakenly lists his show as "reports of sharks falling from the skies are on the rise again. Nobody on the Eastern Seaboard is safe." What is anything? Is it this?

And Snowflake questions our worth in a collapsing society which no longer shares the liberal values we have for so long been keen to be seen to espouse, in a fairy-tale landscape of winter wonder.
Tons of fun!

SOLD OUT - CHECK DAILY FOR RETURNS at the Leicester Square Theatre here: https://leicestersquaretheatre.ticketsolve.com/shows/873600232

SNOWFLAKE/TORNADO Work-in-Progress and DVD LAUNCH

Leicester Square Theatre, London.

FEW TICKETS AVAILABLE CHECK DAILY FOR RETURNS AT LEICESTER SQUARE THEATRE BOX OFFICE: https://leicestersquaretheatre.ticketsolve.com/shows/873600232



Stewart Lee - Snowflake/Tornado.

Leicester Square Theatre, London.



January 2020

Thurs 2nd Jan 8.45pm - Sat 25th Jan

No Mondays, No Sundays, & not Jan 9th

8.45 pm Stewart on stage

2 hrs + interval


Tues, Weds, Thurs £27.50

Friday & Saturday £29.50



All shows are 14+ apparently. If you are under 14 you are too immature to enjoy my swearing and farts.


In the case of sold out shows, there are often returns added, & Leicester Square maintain a waiting list, so check with the venue.

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JANUARY 2020

Thursday 2nd SNOWFLAKE / TORNADO - Leicester Square Theatre, London - 8.45pm - TICKETS

Friday 3rd SNOWFLAKE / TORNADO - Leicester Square Theatre, London - 8.45pm - TICKETS

Saturday 4th SNOWFLAKE / TORNADO - Leicester Square Theatre, London - 8.45pm - TICKETS




Tuesday 7th SNOWFLAKE / TORNADO - Leicester Square Theatre, London - 8.45pm - TICKETS

Wednesday 8th SNOWFLAKE / TORNADO - Leicester Square Theatre, London - 8.45pm - TICKETS

Friday 10th SNOWFLAKE / TORNADO - Leicester Square Theatre, London - 8.45pm - TICKETS

Saturday 11th SNOWFLAKE / TORNADO - Leicester Square Theatre, London - 8.45pm - TICKETS




Tuesday 14th SNOWFLAKE / TORNADO - Leicester Square Theatre, London - 8.45pm - TICKETS

Wednesday 15th SNOWFLAKE / TORNADO - Leicester Square Theatre, London - 8.45pm - TICKETS

Thursday 16th SNOWFLAKE / TORNADO - Leicester Square Theatre, London - 8.45pm - TICKETS

Friday 17th SNOWFLAKE / TORNADO - Leicester Square Theatre, London - 8.45pm - TICKETS

Saturday 18th SNOWFLAKE / TORNADO - Leicester Square Theatre, London - 8.45pm - TICKETS




Tuesday 21st SNOWFLAKE / TORNADO - Leicester Square Theatre, London - 8.45pm - TICKETS

Wednesday 22nd SNOWFLAKE / TORNADO - Leicester Square Theatre, London - 8.45pm - TICKETS

Thursday 23rd SNOWFLAKE / TORNADO - Leicester Square Theatre, London - 8.45pm - TICKETS

Friday 24th SNOWFLAKE / TORNADO - Leicester Square Theatre, London - 8.45pm - TICKETS

Saturday 25th SNOWFLAKE / TORNADO - Leicester Square Theatre, London - 8.45pm - TICKETS

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Currently confirmed / onsale national dates are as follows.

NOTE: This is not the complete list. More national dates are currently being added & confirmed & will be announced soon.


Not all dates are currently on sale.

As further dates are announced / go on sale, they will be listed on the Live Dates page of the website & via this newsletter as they come in.

January 2020

Tuesday 28th January 2020 - 7.30pm - Colosseum, Watford - TICKETS


Wednesday 29th January 2020 - 7.30pm - Playhouse, Nottingham TICKETS


Thursday 30th January 2020 - 7.30pm - Playhouse, Nottingham - TICKETS


Thursday 31st January 2019 - 7.30pm - Playhouse, Nottingham - TICKETS

February 2020

Saturday 1st February 2020 - 7.30pm - Playhouse, Nottingham - TICKETS


Tuesday 4th February 2020 - 7.30pm - Philharmonic Hall, Liverpool - TICKETS


Wednesday 5th February 2020 - 7.30pm - Philharmonic Hall, Liverpool - TICKETS


Thursday 6th February 2020 - 7.30pm - City Hall, Sheffield - TICKETS


Friday 7th February 2020 - 7.30pm - City Hall, Sheffield - TICKETS


Wednesday 12th February 2020 - 8pm DeMontfort Hall, Leicester - TICKETS


Thursday 13th February 2020 - 7.30pm - New Theatre Royal, Lincoln - TICKETS


Friday 14th February 2020 - 7.30pm - New Theatre, Peterborough - TICKETS


Saturday 15th February 2020 - 7.30pm - Opera House, Buxton - TICKETS


Tuesday 18th February 2020 - 7.30pm - The Dome, Brighton - TICKETS


Wednesday 19th February 2020 - 7.30pm - The Dome, Brighton - TICKETS


Thursday 20th February 2020 - 7.30pm - The Dome, Brighton - TICKETS


Friday 21st February 2020 - 7.30pm - The Dome, Brighton - TICKETS


Monday 24th February 2020 - 7.30pm - Playhouse, Oxford - TICKETS



Tuesday 25th February 2020 - 7.30pm - Playhouse, Oxford - TICKETS



Wednesday 26th February 2020 - 7.30pm - Playhouse, Oxford - TICKETS



Thursday 27th February 2020 - 7.30pm - Playhouse, Oxford - TICKETS



Friday 28th February 2020 - 7.30pm - Playhouse, Oxford - TICKETS



Saturday 29th February 2020 - 7.30pm - Playhouse, Oxford - TICKETS

March 2020

Tuesday 3rd March 2020 - 7.45pm - Festival Theatre, Malvern - TICKETS


Wednesday 4th March 2020 - 7.30pm - St. David's Hall, Cardiff - TICKETS


Thursday 5th March 2020 - 8pm - Wycombe Swan, High Wycombe - TICKETS


Friday 6th March 2020 - 7.30pm - Royal & Derngate, Northampton TICKETS


Monday 9th March 2020 - 8pm - Cliffs Pavillion, Southend-On-Sea - TICKETS


Tuesday 10th March 2020 - 8pm - The Hexagon, Reading - TICKETS


Wednesday 11th March 2020 - 8pm - The Hexagon, Reading - TICKETS


Thursday 12th March 2020 - 7.30pm - Symphony Hall, Birmingham - TICKETS


Friday 13th March 2020 - 7.30pm - Symphony Hall, Birmingham - TICKETS


Tuesday 17th March 2020 - 7.30pm - Marlowe Theatre, Canterbury - TICKETS


Wednesday 18th March 2020 - 8pm - De La Warr Pavillion , Bexhill On Sea - TICKETS


Thursday 19th March 2020 - 8pm - Corn Exchange, Cambridge - TICKETS


Friday 20th March 2020 - 8pm - Corn Exchange, Cambridge - TICKETS


Monday 23rd March 2020 - 7.30pm - Playhouse, Leeds - TICKETS


Tuesday 24th March 2020 - 7.30pm - Playhouse, Leeds - TICKETS


Wednesday 25th March 2020 - 7.30pm - Playhouse, Leeds - TICKETS


Thursday 26th March 2020 - 7.30pm - King's Theatre, Glasgow - TICKETS


Friday 27th March 2020 - 7.30pm - Theatre Royal, Newcastle Upon Tyne - TICKETS


Saturday 28th March 2020 - 7.30pm - Theatre Royal, Newcastle Upon Tyne - TICKETS

April 2020

Friday 24th April 2020 - 7.30pm - Theatre Royal, York - TICKETS


Saturday 25th April 2020 - 7.30pm - Theatre Royal, York - TICKETS


Wednesday 29th April 2020 - 7.30pm - Lyric Theatre @ The Lowry, Salford Quays - TICKETS


Thursday 30th April 2020 - 7.30pm - Lyric Theatre @ The Lowry, Salford Quays - TICKETS

May 2020

Friday 1st May 2020 - 7.30pm - Lyric Theatre @ The Lowry, Salford Quays - TICKETS


Saturday 2nd May 2020 - 7.30pm - Lyric Theatre @ The Lowry, Salford Quays - TICKETS


Sunday 3rd May 2020 - 5pm - The Mach Arena, Machynlleth, Wales - TICKETS


Sunday 10th May 2020 - 7.30pm - Rose Theatre, Kingston - TICKETS


Thursday 14th May 2020 - 7.30pm - Westlands, Yeovil - TICKETS


Friday 15th May 2020 - 7.30pm - Northcott Theatre, Exeter - TICKETS


Saturday 16th May 2020 - 7.30pm - Theatre Royal, Plymouth - TICKETS


Sunday 17th May 2020 - 7.30pm - Theatre Royal, Plymouth - TICKETS


Monday 18th May 2020 - 8pm - Town Hall, Cheltenham - TICKETS


Sunday 31st May 2020 - 7.30pm - Grand Theatre, Wolverhampton - TICKETS

June 2020

Saturday 20th June 2020 - 7.30pm - St. George's Hall , Bradford - TICKETS


Sunday 21st June 2020 - 7.30pm - Storyhouse , Chester - TICKETS


Monday 22nd June 2020 - 8pm - Hippodrome , Bristol - TICKETS


Saturday 27th 2020 - 8pm - Royal Festival Hall, Southbank, London - TICKETS


Sunday 28th 2020 - 8pm - Royal Festival Hall, Southbank, London - TICKETS

July 2020

Wednesday 1st 2020 - 8pm - Royal Festival Hall, Southbank, London - TICKETS

Thursday 2nd 2020 - 8pm - Royal Festival Hall, Southbank, London - TICKETS

Friday 3rd 2020 - 8pm - Royal Festival Hall, Southbank, London - TICKETS

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2) CONTENT PROVIDER DVD

Content Provider is out on modern d/l, available now, and as a dvd with an extra disc of an early work-in-prog show,


Here is the Amazon d/l link. DOWNLOAD LINK


This is the link for physical media version via MEDIA GARAGE via AMAZON. MEDIA GARAGE is the only legit outlet for physical media and anyone else selling it isn’t me and I don’t get the money. DVD LINK




Right now there is nothing free to view of me on Netflix or Amazon.
I’m not part of a package of multi-artists shows the Network can buy from a particular production company and I’m not prepared to give stuff away free to the platforms.



That said all 4 series of COMEDY VEHICLE are still free on the BBC i-player, and all my stand-up shows except STAND-UP COMEDIAN can now be bought to view or download for ever on AMAZON.

Also, you can buy everything from me at live shows, which is best, as both I and the taxman see a slice of the action in this honest and straightforward farmers’ market style transaction.



I will even have a card machine this time around to facilitate drunken impulse mass-purchases, at rates beyond your actual means.

I am trying to get STAND-UP COMEDIAN back in circulation but the original producers have put the original contract in storage and have warned us that it is costly to locate it.

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3) King Rocker Doc

Michael Cumming (Brass Eye), James Nicholls (Fire films) and I are looking for donations to complete the film below, which is about Birmingham post-punk survivors The Nightingales.

Everyone who donates, no matter how big or how small*, will be featured in the end credits.


*(I think this sentence, written by James from Fire, relates to the size of the donation, not the donor.)


https://www.kingrockerfilm.com/


There is now a podcast radio thing you can listen to of me and Michael talking about The Nightingales here. It is ace.

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4) NEW BOOK - March Of The Lemmings

March of the Lemmings - Brexit in Print and Performance 2016-2019

Faber have published March of the Lemmings.

Drawing on three years of newspaper columns, a complete transcript of the 'Content Provider' stand-up show, and Lee’s caustic footnote commentary, March of the Lemmings is the scathing, riotous record the Brexit era deserves.”

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5) LAURA CANNELL’S MODERN RITUAL

I am contributing some words to a new performance by mediaeval minimalist the mighty Laura Cannell, at London’s King’s Place on July 11th - https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/

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6) MUSIC FROM SHOWS

PEOPLE KEEP ASKING ME AFTER GIGS; "WHAT IS THAT BIT OF MUSIC FROM ‘CONTENT PROVIDER’ OR ‘SNOWFLAKE/TORNADO’?". So, here goes...

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CONTENT PROVIDER

PRE-SHOW Was mainly tracks from Bounce (2016) by The Beat, and Black Bombers (2016) by Black Bombers

WALK ON - Blueswater - Stew’s Blues.

INTERVAL
Yarasa Adam - Toz Hasat - DOWNLOAD CONTENT PROVIDER MUSIC HERE.

Kol Basti - Baris Manco (2023, 1975),
Turku - Erkin Koray (Elektronik Turkuler, 1974),
Mindtrain - Yoko One (Fly, 1971)

END OF SHOW - Fur Seelenbinder - Kosmicher Laufer (Secret Music Of The Easdt Germna Olympic Program 1972-83)

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SNOWFLAKE / TORNADO

PRE-SHOW - Oh Yeah - Can (Tago Mago, 1971), Halleluhwah - Can (Tago Mago, 1971), Pinch - Can (Ege Bamyasi, 1972), If I’m In Luck I Might Get Picked Up - Betty Davis (Betty Davis, 1973)

TORNADO WALK ON - Blueswater - Stew’s Blues. - DOWNLOAD CONTENT PROVIDER MUSIC HERE.

INTERVAL - Auto Chip 2014 - 2016 - The Fall (Sub Lingual Tablet, 2014), Auto (2024) Chip Replace Live - The Fall (Live Uurop VIII- XII, 2014), Fibre Book Troll - The Fall (Sub Lingual Tablet, 2014)

SNOWFLAKE WALK ON - Home - Fixed Horizon (Nothing Beyond, 2019)

WALK-OUT - Stiff Little Fingers - My Dark Places (No Going Back, 2014), Dave Graney - Ultrakeef (Zippa DeeDoo, 2019)

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7) I ARROGANTLY RECOMMEND THE FOLLOWING JANUARY EVENTS

1) New Year’s Day Morris Dancing & Folk Events.

i) Abingdon Traditional MORRIS MEN: New Year's Day - 12:30pm The Punch Bowl, Market Place OX14 3HG; 1:30pm King's Head & Bell, East St Helen's Street OX14 5EA

ii) Aldbury MORRIS MEN ​: New Year's Day - 12:00 noon, The Valiant Trooper, Aldbury HP23 5RW; 1:00pm - The Greyhound, Aldbury HP23 5RT TBC

iii) Alvechurch MORRIS MEN : New Year's Day - Mummers' Play around Alvechurch (at The Crown in Withybed Green)

iv) Ashdown Forest MORRIS MEN : New Year's Day - 1:00 pm - The New Inn, Hadlow Down TN22 4HJ

v) Blackmore MORRIS MEN : New Year's Day - 1:00 pm, Leather Bottle, Blackmore CM4 0RL 

vi) Dartington MORRIS MEN : New Year's Day - 1:00 pm. Hope Cove, Devon TQ7 3HQ About 2:00pm we will adjourn to the Hope and Anchor Inn.

vii) Etcetera MORRIS MEN : New Year's DaySpectacular - 12:30pm, The Wonder, Batley Rd, Enfield EN2 OJG.  We will be joined by dancing friends from Hertfordshire Holly and Camden Clog, as well as other Cotswold Morris dancers. Followed by music and song in the bar.

viii) Kennet MORRIS MEN : New Year's Day - Dancing about 12:30 pm followed by music and song until 3:00pm Calleva Arms, Silchester RG7 2PH

ix) Mersey MORRIS MEN:  New Year's Day - 12:00 noon The Plasterers Arms Hoylake Wirral CH47 2DJ

x) Monkseaton MORRIS MEN : New Year's Day -  12:00 noon outside the Ship Inn, Monkseaton and then afterwards in the Ship Inn. follow us as we dance in all the pubs in Monkseaton during the afternoon: Black Horse, Monkseaton Arms,  Front Street Tap House & Left Luggage Room

xi) Ripley Morris - New Year's Day -  12:30pm Red Lion Hognaston

xii) Rose and Castle Morris : New Year's Day - 12:00 noon, The Boat, Stoke Bruerne with Queen's Oak, followed by "musical diversions"

xiii) Taunton Deane MORRIS MEN  : New Year's Day - 12:30 pm for 1:00pm: Bradford on Tone - The White Horse Inn  TA4 1HF

xiv) Towersey Morris : New Year's Day - 1:00pm onwards: White Hart, Moneyrow Green, Holyport SL6 2ND by invitation of Taeppa's Tump - including the Towersey Mummers Play

xv) Yateley MORRIS MEN : New Year's Day - 1:00 pm, The Cricketers, Hartley Wintney RG27 8QB - with Mummers Play

2) Adlington MORRIS MEN and Mummers

Friday 3rd January – Alderley Mummers Play, Macclesfield & district tour - 8:00 pm Church House, Church Lane, Sutton Lane Ends, SK11 0DS; 9:00 pm Gawsworth, The Harrington Arms, Church Lane, off Congleton Road, SK11 9RR; 10:00 pm Macclesfield, The Waters Green Tavern, 96 Waters Green, SK11 6LH

3) Kennet MORRIS MEN

4th January 1:30pm - Tutts Clump Wassail - our traditional wassailing of the  has been continuous ever since its planting... 6 years ago.

4) Letchworth MORRIS MEN

Saturday 4th January - 6:30pm Dunton Wassail , Church Farm, Dunton SG18 8RR with Bedford MORRIS MEN

5) Datchet Border Morris

Sunday 5th January - Brightwell Wassail, 2:00pm Red Lion, Brightwell Street, Brightwell-cum-Sotwell OX10 0RT

6) Leominster MORRIS MEN

Twelfth Night - Monday 6th January 7:00pm - The Wassail - the first event revived after the side was re-formed in 1983, this year at The Bell, Tillington, Hereford HR4 8LE

7) Silurian Border MORRIS MEN

1st Saturday after 12th Night - 6th January Wassail in Much Marcle. 7:00pm dancing followed by an atmospheric torchlight procession into ancient cider orchards. After the Ceremony of singing, carousing and general merriment there will be music and Mummers at the Slip Inn, Much Marcle. Silurian would like to remind all participants that there is real fire involved - come prepared!

8) Haxey Hood Game

violent communal folk football, Haxey, Lincolnshire. Jan 6th

9) Hinckley Bullockers

1st Saturday after 12th Night - 6th January - Tour of Sharnford and Sapcote starting 9:40am The Countryman. 23 Leicester Rd, Sharnford, LE10 3PP

10) Saturday 11th January

Hedgerley Wassail, 2:00pm  White Horse, Village Lane Hedgerley SL2 3UY

11) Brackley MORRIS MEN

Saturday 11th January Somerton Wassail, ​4:00pm Somerton Village Hall, Heyford Rd, Somerton, Bicester OX25 6LN​

12) Saturday 11 January

7:00pm Oldfields Cider, Oldfields Farm, Frith Common, Tenbury Wells WR15 8JX

13) Long Man MORRIS MEN

Twelfth Night - Saturday 11th January 8:00pm - Here We Come A Wassailing - The Wheatsheaf, 2 Church Street Willingdon Eastbourne BN20 9HP with Merrie England Mummers

14) Burhead, N East Scotland.

Burning The Clavie. A barrel is set fire to. Jan 11th.

15) VARIOUS PLOUGH SUNDAY EVENTS

i) Jockey MORRIS MEN : 1st Saturday after 12th night - 11th January - Birmingham City Centre, usually starting at St. Martin’s Church in The Bull Ring at 10:00am where we have our Plough blessed for the start of the agricultural year with Red Leicester Morrismen & Mersey Morris Men



ii) Goathland Ploughstots. ​1st Sunday after 12th Night - 12th January 10.45am, Blessing of the Plough Service, St Mary's Church, Goatland.



iii) Claro Sword: Plough Sunday 12th January St. John's Parish Church Knaresborough, North Yorkshire. Claro Sword perform traditional Yorkshire Longsword at the 10.30 Plough-blessing service and afterwards wheel the plough to Knaresborough Market Place for more dancing.​TBC



iv) Grimsby MORRIS MEN  : Plough Sunday - 12th January - 12.00 pm The White Hart, Ludford; 1.00 pm Market Place, Binbrook; 1.30 pm The Plough, Binbrook.  Dancing, wassail cermony and the North Kelsey Plough Play.

16) Cambridge MORRIS MEN

Plough Monday - 13th January -  11:30am Comberton Duck Pond, Green End, Comberton, Cambridgeshire CB23 7DY performing East Anglian Molly dances here then followed by private shows at various schools through the day. In the evening we join the Balsham Ploughboys in a tour of their village as Cotswold Dancers, visiting many hospitable families and the village pubs.TBC

17) PETER BROTZMANN

German Free Jazz Sax giant, Café Oto, London, Weds 15th Jan

18) THE BELLRAYS

Veteran US Punk-soul band, a live sensation, UK tour.

Jan 15th Southsea Wedgewood, 16th Bristol Louisiana, 17th Newport Le Pub, 19th Halifax Lantern, 21st Edinburgh Voodoo Rooms, 22nd Glasgow Broadcast, 23rd Newcastle Cluny, 24th Middlesburgh Westgarth, 25th Brighton Prince Albert, 26th London Oslo.

19) Carhampton and Roadwater, Somerset.

Wassailing Parties enter orchards to bless the trees. 17th Jan

20) Taunton Deane MORRIS MEN

Friday 17th January - Sheppy’s Cider Wassail, 6:30pm Bradford on Tone TA4 1ER

21) Peterborough MORRIS MEN

1st Saturday after 12th Night - 18th January - lead the Whittlesea Straw Bear procession 10:30am-3:30pm with many other dance teams followed by Sunday 19th January, Straw Bear Church Service. - A Morris display as part of the Plough Service.

22) Goathland Ploughstots.

The Saturday following The Blessing - 18th January 9.30 am Tour of Goathland and surrounding area, starting from the The Reading Room, Goathland, North Yorkshire

23) Mari Lwyd EVENTS 10th - 18th Jan.

A skeletal Welsh horse prances about. The Boot Pub, London, WC1H 8BS, 6.30pm 10th Jan; Caerleon, S Wales, 6.30 11th Jan, The Goldcroft; Chepstow Bridge, Wye Valley, 1.30 pm, 18th Jan

24) Sunday 19th January

Spriggan Mist Wassail, 3:00pm  London Stone, Church Street, Staines TW18 4EP

25) ANTHONTY BRAXTON

American saxophonist, composer and jazz mathematician. Café Oto, London Jan 19th - 21st.

26) Claro Sword

Plough Sunday 26th January St. Andrew's Church Aldborough, nr Boroughbridge, North Yorkshire. Claro Sword perform traditional Yorkshire Longsword at the 10.30 plough-blessing service. TBC

27) Up Helly Aa.

Frightening Viking Fire festival. Lerwick, Shetland 28th Jan.

​

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8) MY CULTURAL YEAR 2019 UPTO DEC 22ND

NEW FILMS (2018/9)

The best 3 new films I saw this year were...
Ant Man & The Wasp (Peyton Reed) ★★★★★
Mandy (Panos Cosmatos) ★★★★★
Cold War (Paweł Pawlikowski) ★★★★★

Here’s my year’s new film viewing in order
Ant Man & The Wasp (Peyton Reed) ★★★★★
Mandy (Panos Cosmatos) ★★★★★
Happy New Year, Colin Burstead (Ben Wheatley) ★★★★
Christopher Robin (Marc Forster)★
Arcadia (Paul Wright)
Captain Marvel (Anna Boden/Ryan Fleck)
Shazam (David Sandberg)
The Dirt (Jeff Tremaine)
Solo (Ron Howard) ★★★★
Spider-man : Into The Spider-verse (Peter Ramsey)
Avengers : Infinity War (Russo Brothers)
Avengers : Endgame (Russo Brothers)
Keepers (AKA The Vanishing) (Kristoffer Nyholm)
Toy Story 4 (Josh Cooley)
Fighting With My Family (Stephen Marchant) ★★★★
Spider-Man : Far From Home (Jon Watts)
Midsommar (Ara Aster) ★
Can You Ever Forgive Me (Marielle Heller) ★★★★
John Wick 3 Parabellum (Chad Stahelski)
The Sisters Brothers (Jaques Audriard)
Black Panther (Ryan Coogler)
Cold Pursuit (Hans Petter Molland)
The Commuter (Jaume Collet-Serra) ★★★★
Cold War (Paweł Pawlikowski) ★★★★★
Jumanji The Next Level (Jack Kasdan) ★
Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (Q Tarantino) ★★★★

OLD FILMS

Get Hard (Etan Cohen, 2015) ★
Pete’s Dragon (David Lowery, 2015)
Howard’s End (James Ivory, 1992) ★★★★★
Unforgiven (Lee Sang-il, 2013) ★★★★
A Street Cat Named Bob (Roger Spottiswode, 2016)
Last Days Here (Don Argott, 2012)
Spider-man Homecoming (Jon Watts, 2017) ★★
Romeo + Juliet (Baz Luhrmann, 1996)
Ride For A Massacre (Gianni Puccini, 1967)
Superman (Richard Donner, 1978)
The Lobster (Yorgos Lanthimos, 2015)
Murder On The Orient Express (Kenneth Branagh, 2017) ★★★★
A Matter Of Life And Death (Powell & Pressburger, 1946) ★★★★★
The Witches (Nick Roeg, 1990)
Edie (Simon Hunter, 2017)
The Thomas Crown Affair (Norman Jewison, 1968)
The Monuments Men (George Cluney, 2014) ★★★★
Groundhog Day (Harold Ramis, 1993) ★★★★★
Elizabeth The Golden Age (Shekar Kapur, 2006)
Stranded (Serge Ou, Andy Nehl, 2015)
The Italian Job (Peter Collinson, 1969)
Doc (Frank Perry, 1971)
The Tooth Fairy (Michael Lembeck, 2010) ★★★★
The World’s End (Edgar Wright, 2013) ★★★★
Mary Poppins (Robert Stevenson, 1964)
Southern Comfort (Walter Hill, 1981) ★★★★★
The Sound of Music (Robert Wise, 1965) ★★★★★
Behind The Candelabra (Stephen Soderberg, 2013) ★★★★
The Post (Steven Spielberg, 2017)
Bruce Almighty (Tom Shadyac, 2003)
Dead Snow (Tommy Wirkola, 2009)
Maleficent (Robert Stromberg, 2014)
Hot Pursuit (Anne Fletcher, 2015) ★★★★
The Incredibles (Brad Bird, 2004)
Catch Me If You Can (Stephen Spielberg, 2003) ★★★★
Killdozer (Jerry London, 1974)
Titanic (James Cameron, 1997)★
Deathstalker II (Jim Wynorski, 1987)
The Leopard (Luchino Visconti, 1963) ★★★★
Mrs Brown (John Madden, 1997) ★★★★
Nina Simone, What Happened? (Liz Garbus, 2015)
Star Wars (George Lucas, 1977) ★★★★★
The Empire Strikes Back (Irvin Kirschner, 1980)
Howl (Paul Hyett, 2015)
Ant-Man (Edgar Wright/Peyton Reed, 2015) ★★★★
Spider-man (Sam Raimi, 2002) ★★★★
Teenwolf (1985, Rod Daniel)
Empire Of The Ants (Bert L Gordon, 1977)
In The Mouth Of Madness (John Carpenter, 1994) ★★★★
Oxide Ghosts (Michael Cumming, 2017) ★★★★★
Poor Pretty Eddie (Richard Robinson, David Worth, 1975) ★★★★
The Mask Of Zorro (Martin Campbell, 1998) ★★★★
Mickey One (Arthur Penn, 1965) ★★★★★
Lost Soul – Doomed Journey of R Stanley (D Gregory, 2014) ★★★★
TNT Jackson (Chiro Santiago, 1974)
The Mummy (Stephen Sommers, 1999) ★
John Wick (Chad Tahelski, 2014) ★★★★★
Father Figures (Lawrence Sher, 2017) ★★★★
As Good As It Gets (James Brooks, 1997)
The Ring (Hideo Nakata, 1998)
Box Of Moonlight (Tom Dicillo, 1997) ★★★★
Fly Away Home (Carol Ballard, 1996) ★★★★
Ghost Stories (A Nyman, J Dyson, 2017)
Harry Potter’s Secret Chamber (C Columbus, 2002)
Bone Tomahawk (S Craig Zahler, 2015)
Sharknado (Anthony Ferrante, 2013)
Living In Oblivion (Tom Dicillo, 1995)
If (Lindsay Anderson, 1968) ★★★★
Gangsters - Play For Today (Philip Saville, 1975) ★★★★
The King’s Speech (Tom Hooper, 2010)
Django (Sergio Corbucci, 1966) ★★★★★
The Fugitive (Andrew Davis, 1993)
Captain America (Joe Johnston, 2011)
Iron Man (John Favreau, 2008) ★★★★
Iron Man 2 (John Favreau, 2010)
Incredible Hulk (Louis Leterrier, 2008) ★
Thor (Kenneth Brannagh, 2011)
Avengers Assemble (Joss Whedon, 2012)
Iron Man 3 (Shane Black, 2012) ★★★★
Thor Dark World (2013, Alan Taylor)
Captain America The Winter Soldier (Joe Russo, 2014)
Avengers Age Of Ultron (Joss Whedon, 2015)
Captain America - Civil War (Russo bros, 2016) ★
The Shining (Stanley Kubrick, 1980) ★★★★★
My Name Is Nobody (Sergio Leone/Tonio Valeri, 1973)★★★★
Spy (Paul Feig, 2015) ★★★★
The King Of Comedy (Martin Scorsese, 1982) ★★★★★
Never Too Young To Rock And Roll (Dennis Abbey, 1976) ★
Tentacles (Ovidio Assonitis, 1977)
Dave Made A Maze (Bill Watterson, 2017)
Three Days of The Condor (Sydney Pollak, 1975)★★★★
The Sixth Sense (M Knight Shyamalan, 1999)★★★★
Aguirre, The Wrath Of God (Werner Herzog, 1972) ★★★★★
Cherry Tree Lane (Paul Andrew Williams, 2010)
Look Who’s Back (David Wendt, 2015) ★★★★★
Shirley Valentine (Lewis Gilbert, 1989) ★★★★
Sexy Beast (Jonathan Glazer, 2001) ★★★★
Dinner for Schmucks (Jay Roach, 2010) ★★★★
True Grit (Cohen Brothers, 2010)
Incident At Loch Ness (Zach Penn, 2004) ★★★★★
Identity Theft (Seth Gordon, 2013) ★★
For Your Eyes Only (John Glen, 1981)
The 39 Steps (Alfred Hitchcock, 1936) ★★★★★
Unknown (Jaume Collett-Serra, 2011) ★★★★
Taken (Pierre Morel, 2008) ★★★★
Taken 2 (Oliver Megaton, 2012)
Taken 3 (Oliver Megaton, 2015)
The Grey (Joe Carnahan, 2012)
Non-Stop (Jaume Collet-Serra, 2014) ★★★★
Brain Damage (Frank Henenlotter, 1988) ★★★★★
Run All Night (Jaume Collet-Serra, 2015)
Horror Hospital (Anthony Balch, 1973)
King Kong Escapes (Ishirō Honda, 1967)
No Such Thing (Hal Hartley, 2002) ★★★★
The Doors (Oliver Stone, 1991) ★
All Is By My Side (John Ridley, 2013) ★★★★
Blow Up (Michelangelo Antonioni, 1966) ★★★★★
V For Vendetta (James McTiege, 2005)
Tremors (Ron Underwood, 1990) ★★★★
Get Santa (Chris Smith, 2014) ★★★★★

NEW BOOKS

Their Brilliant Careers – Ryan O’Neill ★★★★★ and Only Americans Burn In Hell – Jarett Kobek ★★★★★ were both brilliant works of fiction.
Tim Wells’ Moonstomp skinhead-horror ‘70s NEL pastiche was smartly observed and laugh out loud funny.
And if you like HEX ENDUCTION HR by THE FALL you will love Paul Hanley’s study of the album.

Andy Burnham – The Old Stones ★★★★
Their Brilliant Careers – Ryan O’Neill ★★★★★
Only Americans Burn In Hell – Jarett Kobek ★★★★★
Matthew Cutter – Closer You Are ★★★★
Faunus – ed. James Machine ★★★★
Ranking Roger - I Just Can’t Stop It
Tim Wells - Moonstomp ★★★★
Dylan Jones - Wichita Lineman ★
Have A Bleedin’ Guess - Paul Hanley ★★★★★
Pianos, Toys & Topical Tips For Improvisers - Andy Hamilton
Dave Haslam - A Life in 35 Boxes
Nick Hunt - The Parakeeting of London ★★★★

OLD BOOKS

Rosemary Tonks – The Bloater (1968) ★★★★
Forbes Stuart - The Magic Bridle (1974) ★★★★★
Mike Scott - Adventures of a Waterboy (2012)
Uwe Johnson - The 3rd Book About Achim (1961)
Heathcote Williams - Boris Beast of Brexit (2016) ★★★★★
Olivia Laing - The Lonely City (2016)
Chris Palling - Reading Allowed (2017)
Steve Aylett - Lint (2005)★★★★★
Kieron Winn - The Mortal Man (2015)

COMICS

Kamandi The Last Boy On Earth (Jack Kirby) anthology
Sensational She Hulk 1 - 12 (John Byrne, 1989)
Prison Planet 6 - Johnny Ryan (2018)

TV NEW AND OLD

Comedians Of The World (Netflix) ★
ABC Murders (BBC1) ★★★★
Catastrophe s 4 (C4)
The Easybeats to AC/DC (BBC4)
Question Time w F Bruce (BBC2) ★
This Week w Andrew Neil (BBC2)
Sky News
Sky Daily Papers review
BBC News Daily Papers review
BBC News 24
Horrible Histories (CBBC) ★★★★
Endeavour s 2(ITV) ★★★★★
Grace & Frankie (S1) (Netflix)
Don McCullin (BBC4) ★★★★
Arena Blues Night (BBC i-player) ★★★★
Derry Girls (C4)
Norsemen (S2, Netflix) ★★★★
Endeavour (2019, ITV)
First Dates (C4) ★★★★
Russian Doll (Netflix)
The Night Manager (Suzanne Bier, BBC, 2016) ★★★★
Broadchurch Series 1, 2 (BBC1, 2013-15) ★★★★
Fleabag S2 (BBC3)
Hunted s2, s3 (C4) ★★★★
Ryan Gander, My Selfie And I (BBC4)
Line Of Duty, s5 (BBC1) ★★★★
Walks of Life (BBC1) ★
Rock Island Line (BBC4)
Ghosts (BBC2) ★★★★★
Mum S 1-3(BBC2) ★★★★★
Young And Promising S 1-3 (C4) ★★★★
Walks Of Life (BBC1) ★
John Lee Hooker The Boogie Man (BBC4)
The Twilight Zone S 1 (1959)★★★★★
Bewitched (S1 1964) ★★★★
After Life (Netflix) ★
Gangsters S1, 1976 (BBC) ★★★★★
The Cameron Years (BBC) ★★★★★
Question Time (BBC) ★
Hans Teeuwen - Real Rancour ★★★★
The Beatles Made On Merseyside (BBC4?) ★★★★
Prince Andrew Interview (BBC)
War Of The Worlds (BBC)
Father Ted, s1 & 2 (C4) ★★★★★
Gene Clark The Byrd Who Flew Alone (BBC 2013)

MAGAZINES AND PAPERS

Shindig, Record Collector, Viz, Mojo, Guardian, Machenallia, Faunus, Observer, Guardian

RADIO

Iggy Pop (6 Music) ★★★★★
Marc Riley (6 Music) ★★★★★
Amo Amas A Musical w Mary Beard (Radio 4)
James O’Brien (LBC) ★★★★★
Sheilagh Fogarty (LBC)
Eddie Mair (LBC) ★★★★
Maajid Nawaz (LBC) ★★★★
Mark Steel’s In Town (Forest of Dean) (Radio 4) ★★★★★
Late Junction (R3) ★★★★
Louis Theroux (6 Music) ★★★★
Why Woodstock Still Matters (BBC World Service) ★★★★
Sean Keaveney (6 Music)
Dead Ringers Election Special (BBC Radio 4) ★★★★

The worst radio I heard was, as usual, The Today Program (BBC Radio 4)

THEATRE

Romeo & Juliet (RSC/Barbican)
Emilia (Morgan Lloyd Malcolm/Vaudeville) ★★★★
BookTalkBookTalkBook (Ben Moor/Jo Neary) ★★★★
Wireless Operator (Pleasance, Edinburgh) ★★★★
Paul Putner’s Embarrassment (Frankenstein, Edinburgh)
Sammy Showtime (Royal Mile, Edinburgh)
Inflatable Space (Assembly, Edinburgh) ★★★★
Beetlemania - Kafka For Kids (Pleasance, Edinburgh) ★★★★
The Castle (Greenside, Edinburgh)
Boulder (Pleasance, Edinburgh) ★★★★
Manual Cinema’s Frankenstein (U’belly, Ed’bro) ★★★★

COMEDY

Peter Fleming : Have You Seen? (Machynlleth Fest) ★★★★
Jamali Maddix, Felicity Ward, Lolly Adefope, Martin & Vivian Soan, Rosie Jones & Harry Hill (LST) ★★★★★
Paul Currie - Release The Baboons (Free Fringe, Edinburgh) ★★★★
Rosie Jones (Pleasance, Edinburgh) ★★★★
Hannah Gadsby - Douglas (South Bank Centre)
John Kearns (Soho Theatre)

GIGS

The second of Guided By Voices’ two London nights was one of the greatest things of any sort I have ever experienced. The sheer joy of it stayed with me for months.
And Madness’ 40th Anniversary show was special too.

Patti Smith (Roundhouse, London) ★★★★
The Fallen Women (Lexington, London) ★★★★
Shirley Collins (Roundhouse, London) ★★★★
Jackie Oates (Water Rats, London) ★★★★
The Zeros (Shacklewell Arms, London) ★★★★
21 Pilots (Wembley Arena) ★★★★★
Stiff Little Fingers/Eddie & Hot Rods/Vapors (Forum) ★★★★★
John Paul Jones, Thurston Moore & Steve Noble (100 Club)
Evan Parker & John Russell (Vortex) ★★★★
Long Ryders (Islington Town Hall) ★★★★
Islet (Machynlleth Festival) ★★★★
Robert Forster (Union Chapel)
Peter Case/Sid Griffin (Leytonstone Ex-Servicemen’s) ★★★★
Endless Boogie (Oslo, London) ★★★★
Chameleons Vox (Dingwalls) ★★★★
The Nightingales (Sea Change)
Sandra Kerr & John Faulkner & Bagpuss (Sea Change) ★★★★
Guided by Voices (Village Undergound, London, Weds) ★★★★★
Guided by Voices (Village Underground, London, Thurs) ★★★★★★
Russ Tolman (Seabright Arms)
Flamin’ Groovies (Under The Bridge)
Alan Wilkinson, Steve Noble, John Edwards (Nomadic Community Garden, Brick Lane) ★★★★
Stereolab/Vanishing Twin (Shepherd’s Bush Empire)
King Crimson (Royal Albert Hall)
Meat Puppets (ULU) ★★★★★
Archie Shepp (Ronnie Scotts) ★★★★
Bob Dylan & Neil Young (Hyde Park) ★★★★★
The Long Ryders (Hare & Hounds, Birmingham)
Crockenjambe (Mortain Piscine Jardin, Normandy)
Blueswater (Surgeon’s Hall, Edinburgh) ★★★★
Adam Kadabara/The Bucket Boy (Royal Mile, Edinbugh)
Trad, Gras Och Stenar (Troxy, London) ★★★★★
Steve Noble, John Edwards, Alan Wilkinson (Word On The Water, London) ★★★★
Kate Tempest (Hammersmith Odeon) ★★★★
Thurston Moore Group (ULU) ★★★★
The Ex, Xavier Charles, Ada Rave, Zweditu Johannes, Marion Coutts, Alexander Hawkins (Café Oto) ★★★★★
Chris Cacavas (Slaughtered Lamb)
Madness (Roundhouse) ★★★★★

RECORDS I LISTENED TO IN THEIR ENTIRITY OLD SCHOOL THIS YEAR IN ONE SITTING AT A DESIGNATED LISTENING DEVICE

NEW RECORDS – 2018/2019

My ten favourite new records this year were...

1.Richard Dawson - 2020 - The best and most essential new record of the year for me, a state of the nation observation of incredible compassion in art-folk form

2.Long Ryders – Psychedelic Country Soul - Unexpectedly viable reunion record from alt country pioneers concluding unfinished business

3.Bangles/The Three O’Clock/Dream Syndicate/Rain Parade – 3x4 - Unexpectedly viable 4-way project of 80s LA psychedelic bands covering each others’ work

4. The Beasts – Still Here - Unexpectedly viable record by surviving members of Australian blues-psyche-garage punks

5. Trash Kit - Horizon Afro-highlife-postpunk hybrid of life-affirming power

6.Guided By Voices – Sweating The Plague - Best of many albums this year by veteran Ohio mod-prog band

7&8. Dry Cleaning - Sweet Princess & Boundary Rd Snacks And Drinks - Sneery literary dirty realist post-punk that flips my wig

9. Slagheap - Slagheap The shouty girl version of 1981 Fall kick ass

10. Major Stars - Roots of Confusion - Boston psych veterans continue to lay down impossibly dense grooves

Here’s Everything new in the order that I heard it

21 Pilots – Trench
Baby Grandmothers – Merkurius ★★★★
Bottle Rockets – Bit Logic
Lee Ranaldo – Live At Rough Trade East ★★★★
Guided by Voices – Zeppelin Over China
Namer – January
Long Ryders – Psychedelic Country Soul ★★★★★
Black Bombers – Vol 4
Julian Cope – John Balance Enters Valhalla
Traden – s/t ★★★★
Richard Youngs – Memory Ain’t No Decay ★★★★
Richard Youngs – Dissident ★★★★
Tropical Fuckstorm – A Laughing Death In The Meatspace
The ACC – Beautiful At Night
Dream Syndicate – These Times
Sleaford Mods – Eton Alive
Amor – Sinking Into A Miracle
Howe Gelb – Label Pop Session
The Blackeyed Susans – Christmas Songs
Bangles/3 O’Clock/Dream Syndicate/Rain Parade – 3x4 ★★★★★
Guided by Voices – Warp And Woof
The Beasts – Still Here ★★★★★
The Beat – Public Confidential
Deniz Tek – Lost For Words
Rob Snarski – Sparrow & Swan ★★★★
Son Volt – Union
The Comet Is Coming – Trust In The Lifeforce Of The Deep Mystery
Evan Parker & Paul G Smyth – Calenture & Light Leaks ★★★★
Bevis Frond – We’re Your Friends, Man ★★★★★
Guided By Voices – Sweating The Plague ★★★★★
Belbury Poly & Sharron Kraus – Chanctonbury Rings
Russ Tolman – Goodbye El Dorado
Robert Forster – Inferno
Rich Hopkins, Lisa Novak & Luminarios – Back To The Garden
Hugo Race – Taken By The Dream
Laura Cannell – The Sky Unturned ★★★★
The Flesh Eaters – I Used To Be Pretty
Meat Puppets – Dusty Notes
Trash Kit - Horizon ★★★★★
John Pierce O’Reilly - Mus Mea
Whistling Arrow - Whistling Arrow ★★★★
Eliza Carthy - Restitute ★★★★
Dave Graney & The Mistly - Zippa Dee Doo ★★★★
Pat Todd - The Past Came Calling ★★★★
Hawklords - Brave New World
Chris Holiman - Welcome To The Underground
Sacred Paws - Run Around The Sun ★★★★
The Waterboys - Where The Action Is ★★★★
Jack Waterson - Adrian Younge Presents
Smitten - Cassettes (Live On Tape) ★★★★
Otoboke Beaver - Itekoma Hits ★★★★
Darren Hayman - 12 Astronauts
Howe Gelb - Gathered
Eyelids - Maybe More
Dope feat. Fuck Authority - 13 Black Math
The Blue Orchids - The Magical Record Of
The Aints - Play The Saints (73-78) Live
Fixed Horizon - X ep ★★★★
Dry Cleaning - Sweet Princess ★★★★★
Kate Tempest - The Book Of Traps & Lessons ★★★★
Richard Dawson - 2020 ★★★★★
Slagheap - Slagheap ★★★★★
Peter Hammill - X ★★★★
Hawkwind - All Aboard The Skylark
Hawkwind - Acoustic Days
Neil Young & Crazy Horse - Colorado ★★★★
The Utopia Strong - s/t
Billy Sedlmayr - Harlem River Drive
Laura Cannell & Polly Wright - Sing As The Crow Flies ★★★★
The Elevator Mood - s/t
Stick In The Wheel - Against The Loathsome Beyond
Bob Mould - Sunshine Rock
Major Stars - Roots of Confusion ★★★★★
Dream Syndicate - 2020 album ★★★★
Suns of The Tundra - Murmuration
Chris Cacavas - Home Recordings 1
Dry Cleaning - Boundary Road Snacks And Drinks ★★★★★
Billy Childish & CTMF - Last Punk Standing ★★★★
Billy Childish & CTMF - In The Devil’s Focus ★★★★
Jeff Kelly - Beneath The Stars, Above The River

NEW OLD RECORDS (REISSUES, ARCHIVES, COMPS)

TOP 5 OLD RECORDS....
Simon Bonney – Past Present Future (1992-99) ★★★★★
V/A - J Jazz, Deep Jazz From Japan 2 (1969-1983)★★★★★
Gorgeous Space Virus - We Paint Our Smiles (1994) ★★★★★
Dick Gaughan - The Harvard Tapes (1982) ★★★★★
The Bellrays - It’s Never Too Late To Fall In Love With (1998-2019) ★★★★★
The Gorgeous Space Virus album is a collection of never released recordings by a trippy-shoegazing-spacerock-noise band that were mainstays of London’s indie toilets in the early ‘90s. Their failure to thrive proves once again that success is not a meritocracy. This 25 years too late bandcamp d/l collection shows that we nearly had our own Englische Cosmische musiche in the vein of Flaming Lips, Mercury Rev, Sonic Youth etc. And, on a personal level, it flips me back to being young and thin and drunk and deafened and thrilled to be alive in the big city as I started on the circuit, not knowing that this precarious but brilliant life was as exciting as it would ever get.

And....
Big Front Yard – Big Front Yard (1975) ★★★★
Endless Boogie – Endless Boogie 1 (2005) ★★★★
Dave Kusworth – The World Of Dave Kusworth (1984-2012)
Simon Bonney – Past Present Future (1992-99) ★★★★★
The Fall – Bend Sinister (1986) ★★★★
King Crimson - A Mojo Anthology (1969-2019)★★★★
Zior - Before My Eyes Go Blind (1974-2018) ★★★★
V/A - J Jazz, Deep Jazz From Japan 2 (1969-1983)★★★★★
John Coltrane - Blue World (1964) ★★★★★
V/A - J Jazz, Deep Jazz From Japan (1969-1984)
V/A - Brown Acid, The 8th Trip (1968-1977)
Ski Patrol - In Dub (1981) ★★★★
Townes van Zandt - Sky Blue (1973)
Gorgeous Space Virus - We Paint Our Smiles (1994) ★★★★★
Fleetwood Mac - Transmissions (1967-68)
The Springfields - Singles (1986-91) ★★★★
V/A - Brown Acid, The 9th Trip (1968-1974)

OLD RECORDS THAT I LISTENED TO IN ORDER IN 2019

Rollin’ Thunder – Howl (1987) ★★★★
The Fall – Hex Enduction Hour (1982) ★★★★★
The Moody Blues – Days of Future Passed (1967)
The Records – Crashes (1980)
Bobbie Gentry – The Delta Sweet (1968) ★★★★
The Beatles – Revolver (1966) ★★★★★
The Beatles – Magical Mystery Tour (1967) ★★★★★
The Beatles – Past Masters II (1965-70) ★★★★★
Goldie – Timeless (1995) ★★★★★
Patti Smith – Land (1974-2002) ★★★★
The Beatles – White Album (1968) ★★★★★
Delaney & Bonnie & Friends- D&B Together (1972)
Dangtrippers – Days Between Stations (1987)
The Grass Roots – Where Were You When I Needed You? (1966)
The Moody Blues – In Search Of The Lost Chord (1968)
Dangtrippers – Transparent Blue Illusion (1991)
Ginhouse – Ginhouse (1971)
Heaven & Earth – Refuge (1971)
Saffron Summerfield – Sailsbury Plain (1974)
Saffron Summerfield – Fancy Meeting You Here! (1976)
Neu! – Neu! (1972) ★★★★
Neu! – Neu! 2 (1973)
Träd, Gräs & Stenar – Ajin Schvajin Draj (2002) ★★★★
Träd, Gräs & Stenar – Homeless Cats (2009)
Neu! – ’75 (1975)
Man – Revelation (1969) ★★★★
Man – 2 0z Plastic With A Hole In The Middle (1969) ★★★★
Man – Man (1971)
Man – Do You Like It Here Now? (1971)
Man – Live At The Padget Rooms, Penarth (1972)
Man – Be Good To Yourself At Least Once A Day (1972)
Man – Back Into The Future (1973) ★
Man – Rhinos, Winos & Lunatics (1974) ★
Man – Slow Motion (1975)
Man – Maximum Darkness (1975)
Hard Meat – Hard Meat (1970)
Hard Meat – Through A Window (1970)
Help Yourself – Help Yourself (1971)
Help Yourself – Strange Affair (1972)
The Droogs – Mad Dog Dreams (1989)
Richard Youngs – This Is Not A Lament (2017) ★★★★
Sharon Tandy – You Gotta Believe It’s .. (1967-69)
Karin Krog & Dexter Gordon – Some Other Spring (1970) ★★★★★
Karin Krog & Archie Shepp – Hi-Fly (1976) ★★★★★
Karin Krog – Different Days, Different Ways (1974) ★★★★★
RL Burnside – Burnside on Burnside (2001)
21 Pilots – Vessel (2013)
Karin Krog – Joy (1968) ★★★★★
Julie Driscoll, Brian Auger & The Trinity – Open (1967)
Three Mile Pilot - Na Vucca Do Lupu (1992) ★★★★
Polvo – Exploded Drawing (1996) ★★★★
The Droogs – Kingdom Day (1987)
Salvatore Camarata - Jungle Adventure (1966) ★★★★★
Karin Krog & Michael Legrand – You Must Believe In Spring (1974)
The Zeros – Right Now (1999)
The Zeros – Don’t Push Me Around (1977) ★★★★
Map Of Wyoming – Round Trip (1998)
Map Of Wyoming – Trouble Is (2000)
Erkin Koray – S/t (singles) (1970-77)
Greer – Between Two Worlds (1973)
Julie Driscoll, Brian Auger & The Trinity – Streetnoise (1969)
V/A – 5 Days Married, Sng & Dnce Frm N Greece (1928-58) ★★★★
Alexis Zoumbas – Lament For Epirus (1926-28) ★★★★
The Sneetches – Slow (1990)
Epic Soundtracks – Rise Above (1992)
Diabolus – Diabolus (1971)
Julie Tippetts – Sunset Glow (1975) ★★★★★
Mad River – Jersey Sloo (1967)
Lawrence Hammond – Coyote’s Dream (1976)
Sneaky Pete Kleinow – Cold Steel (1973)
Hector Penalosa – Hector! (1987)
Annette Peacock – I’m The One (1972) ★★★★
Lifeguards – Waving At The Astronauts (2011) ★★★★
Takeovers – Turn To Red (2006)
Takeovers – Bad Football (2007)
Tobin Sprout – Live At The Horseshoe Tavern (2014) ★★★★★
Guided By Voices - Mag Earwhig (1997) ★★★★
Keene Brothers – Blues & Boogie Shoes (2006) ★★★★★
Tommy Keene – You Hear Me, Retrospective (1983-2009)★★★★★
Ricked Wicky – I Sell The Circus (2015) ★★★★
Ricked Wicky – King Heavy Metal (2015) ★★★★
The Beat – I Just Can’t Stop It (1980) ★★★★★
Tobin Sprout – Carnival Boy (1996)
Hugo Race – No But It’s True (2012)
Paul Bley – Mr Joy (1968) ★★★★
Annette Peacock – X-Dreams (1978) ★★★★
Paul Bley – Turning Point (1964-8) ★★★★
Quickspace – Superplus EP (1995)
Annette Peacock – The Perfect Release (1979)
Eddie & The Hot Rods – Teenage Depression (1976)
Betty Davis – They Say I’m Different (1974) ★★★★★
Linda Hoyle – Pieces Of Me (1971) ★★★★
Affinity – Affinity (1970) ★★★★
Nina Simone – Jazz As Performed In An ..... (1958) ★★★★★
Bevis Frond – Example 22 (2015) ★★★★
Bevis Frond - White Numbers (2013) ★★★★★
Bevis Frond – The Leaving Of London (2011) ★★★★
Jacobites – Robespierre’s Velvet Basement (1985) ★★★★
Jacobites – Howling Good Times (1993)
Hatfield & The North – The Rotters’ Club (1975) ★★★★
Michael Legrand – Legrand Jazz (1958)
Robert Lloyd – Me And My Mouth (1990)
Scritti Politti – Early (1978-81) ★★★★★
Paul Bley – Live In Haarlem (1966)★★★★
Chris Whitley – War Crime Blues (2004)
Chris Whitley – Poison Girl (1992)
Terminal Hoedown – John Peel Session (1992) ★★★★
Robert Lloyd – Unreleased Second Solo Album (1991)
Fanny – Charity Ball (1971)
Ferrodyne – St John’s Day (2011)
Fanny – Fanny (1970)
Uncle Dog – Old Hat (1971)
Paul Bley – Blood (1966) ★★★★
Chris Williamson – The Changer And The Changed (1975)
Soft Machine – BBC Radio 1968 – 1971 ★★★★
Gnidrolog – Live (1972)
Pylon – Gyrate (1980)
Robert Wyatt – Live At Drury Lane (1974) ★★★★★
Pylon – Chomp (1983)
Pylon – Live (1983)
Robert Wyatt – Rock Bottom (1974) ★★★★
National Health – National Health (1978)
The Noseflutes – Girth (1985) ★★★★
Eric Burdon & The Animals – Winds of Change (1967)★★★★
Eric Burdon & The Animals – The Twain Shall Meet (1968)
Buffy Sainte-Marie – She Used To Wanna Be A Ballerina (1971)
Eric Burdon & The Animals – Love Is (1968) ★★★★
Eric Burdon – Declares War (1970)
Buffy Sainte-Marie – Many A Mile (1965) ★★★★
Graham Parker – Howlin’ Wind (1976)
Grachan Moncur III – Some Other Stuff (1965) ★★★★
Graham Parker – Heat Treatment (1976)
Graham Parker – Stick To Me (1977)
Graham Parker – Squeezing Out Sparks (1979)
The Spartan Dreggs – Forensic R’n’B (2011) ★★★★
The Spartan Dreggs – Dreggradation (2013) ★★★★
Chris Whitley – Dirt Floor (1997) ★★★★
Guru Guru – UFO (1970)
Robert Forster – Songs To Play (2015)
Grachan Moncur III – New Africa (1969)
Grachan Moncur III – One Morning I Woke Up Very Early (1970)
Mike Wilhelm – Wilhelm (1976) ★★★★
Chris Whitley – Perfect Day (2001)
Neil Young – Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere (1970) ★★★★★
Neil Young – Weld (1991) ★★★★
Julian Cope – Rite 2 (1997) ★★★★
Neon Sardinia - S’Akkabadòra-Hèmina (2014) ★★★★
The Chameleons – Strange Times (1986) ★★★★
Endless Boogie – Vibe Killer (2017) ★★★★
Canned Heat w John Lee Hooker – Carnegie Hall (1971)
Green Man – What Ails Thee? (1975)
Pat Todd – Holding Onto Trouble’s Hand (2008) ★★★★
Pat Todd – Blood & Treasure (2016) ★★★★
13th Floor Elevators – Easter Everywhere (1967) ★★★★★
John Lee Hooker – Tantalising With The Blues (1969)★★★★★
Son Volt - American Central Dust (2009) ★★★★
John Lee Hooker - In Person (1974)
Stereolab - Peng! (1991) ★★★★★
Stereolab - Switched On (1992) ★★★★★
Stereolab - Transient Random Noise Bursts (1993) ★★★★
Stereolab - Space Age Bachelor Pad Music (1993) ★★★★
Stereolab - Mars Audiac Quintet (1994) ★★★★
John Lee Hooker - I Feel Good (1969)
John Lee Hooker - That’s Where It’s At! (1969) ★★★★★
Guided by Voices - Human Amusements (2003 ) ★★★★★
John Lee Hooker - Don’t Look Back (1997)
John Lee Hooker - You Miss ‘Im... I Got ‘Im (1970)★★★★
John Lee Hooker - Mr Lucky (1991)
The Lazy Cowgirls - Tapping The Source (1992)
Stereolab - Instant 0 In The Universe (2003)
John Lee Hooker - And 7 Nights/On The Waterfront (1966)
V/A - The Story of Trojan Records (1967 - 74)
Archie Shepp - Rufus (1963) ★★★★
Alan Price - O Lucky Man (1973)
The Noseflutes - Several Young Men Ignite... (1986)
Archie Shepp - Fire Music (1965) ★★★★
Stan Getz - Mickey One (1965)
The Steppes - Drop Of The Creature (1986)
Died Pretty - The Trace ep’s (1993)
Died Pretty - Lost (1988)
Died Pretty - Using My Gills As A Roadmap (1998)
Hawkwind - Into The Woods (2017)
Hawkwind - The Machine Stops (2016)
Hawkwind - Onward (2012)
Hawkwind - Live Sonic Attack (1977-82)
Yes - Close To The Edge (1972)
Ram Jam - Ram Jam (1977)
Ram Jam - Portrait of The Artist As A Young Ram (1978)
Kevin Junior - Ruins (2009) ★★★★
21 Pilots - s/t (2009)
Johnny Jenkins - Ton-Ton Macoute (1970)
Yes - Yes (1969) ★★★★
Yes - Time And A Word (1970) ★★★★
Dennis Wilson - Pacific Ocean Blue (1977)
The Verve - Urban Hymns (1997) ★★★★
The Pogues - Rum, Sodomy & The Lash (1985) ★★★★★
Neal Casal - Rain, Wind & Speed (1996) ★★★★
Träd, Gräs & Stenar - Tack Fur Kaffet (2017)★★★★
The Chamber Strings - Month of Sundays (2001)
Yoko Ono - Plastic Ono Band (1970) ★★★★
Day Of Phoenix - Wide Open N-Way (1970) ★★★★★
The Savage Rose - The Savage Rose (1968) ★★★★
Can - Tago Mago (1971) ★★★★★
Can - Monster Movie (1969) ★★★★★
Can - Ege Bamyasi (1972) ★★★★
Livin’ Blues - Hell’s Session (1969)
Osanna & Luis Bacalov - Milano Calibro 9 s/t(1972) ★★★★
Nino Ferrer - Nino & Radiah Et Le Sud (1974) ★★★★
Edgar Froese - Ambient Highway 2 (2003)
Eric Burdon Band - Sun Secret (1973)
The Animals - The Complete Animals (1964-5)
Eddie & The Hot Rods - Life On The Line (1979)
Creepy John Thomas - Brother Bat Bone (1970) ★★★★
Creepy John Thomas - s/t (1969)
Sonny & Linda Sharrock - Black Woman (1969) ★★★★★
Christmas - Lies to Live By (1974)
Amon Duul - Collapsing (1969)
Cozmic Corridors - s/t (1973) ★★★★
And Also The Trees - Listen For The Rag & Bone Man (2007)
And Also The Trees - s/t (1984) ★★★★
And Also The Trees - Virus Meadow (1984) ★★★★
And Also The Trees - The Millpond Years (1986)
Portsmouth Sinfonia - Plays The Popular Classics (1973)
Portsmouth Sinfonia - Hallelujah (1974)
‘Igginbottom - ‘Igginbottom’s Wrench (1969) ★★★★★
And Also The Trees - Green Is The Sea (1993)
Van Der Graaf Generator - Aerosol Grey Machine (1969) ★★★★★
Ted Chippington - Non Stop Party Hits (1984)★★★★★
And Also The Trees - From Horizon to Horizon (1992) ★★★★
Joe Henderson & Alice Coltrane - The Elements (1973) ★★★★★
Osanna - Paleopoli (1973)
Van Der Graaf Generator - The Least We Can Do .. (1970) ★★★★
Van Der Graaf Generator - H to He (1970)
Peter Hammill - Fool’s Mate (1971)
Van Der Graaf Generator - Do Not Disturb (2015)
Van Der Graaf Generator - Pawn Hearts (1971) ★★★★
And Also The Trees - Angelfish (1996)
Osanna - L’uomo (1971)
The New Trolls - Concerto Grosso (1971)
The New Trolls - Searching For A New Land (1972)
V/A - DJ Format’s Psych Out (1967 - 76)
The Cosmic Jokers - Galactic Supermarket (1974)
The Cosmic Jokers - Planeten Sit-In (1974)
Osanna - Palepoli (1972)
The Fall - Live At The Witch Trials (1978) ★★★★★
The Fall - Early Fall (1977-79) ★★★★★
The Fall - Dragnet (1979) ★★★★★
Gomorrha - Trauma (1971)
Guru Guru - UFO (1971)
Agitation Free - Last (1974) ★★★★
Yatha Sidhra - Meditation Mass (1973)
Jane - Together (1972)
Steamhammer - Mk II (1969)
Cosmic Jokers - Gilles Zeitschiff (1974)
Mandu - To The Shores Of His Heaven (1974)
La Dusseldorf - Viva (1978)
Walkabouts - Scavenger (1991)
Walkabouts - Acetylene (2005)
Cosmic Jokers - Sci-Fi Party (1974)
Clay Alison - Electric Banana (1982) ★★★★
Steeleye Span - Hark! The Village Waits (1970) ★★★★
Steeleye Span - Ten Man Mop (1972)
The Stark Reality - Acting, Thinking, Feeling (1968-70)
Lightnin’ Hopkins - California Mudslide (1969)
Neal Casal - Sweeten The Distance (2012)
11:59 - This Our Sacrifice Of Praise (1974)
John Mayall - Blues Breakers w Eric Clapton (1966)
Fleetwood Mac - The Warehouse Tapes (1970) ★★★★
The Black Angels - Death Song (2017)
Fleetwood Mac - Pious Bird Of Good Omen (1969)
Van Morrison - Astral Weeks (1968) ★★★★★
Neal Casal - Traces (2004)
V/A - B Music, Drive In, Turn On, Freak Out (2008)
Spirit - 12 Dreams of Dr Sardonicus (1970) ★★★★★
Black Oak Arkansas - s/t (1971)
Jesse Mae Hemphill - Get Right Blues (2003) ★★★★
Everything But The Girl - Eden B-sides and demos (1984)
Summerhill - Lowdown (1989) ★★★★★
Van Morrison - Astral Weeks (1968) ★★★★★
Summerhill - I Want You (1988)
Van Morrison - Moondance (1970)
Chicken Shack - 40 Blue Fingers (1968)
Summerhill - Lowdown Revisited (1987-90) ★★★★
The Doors - Live Boston (1970) ★★★★
The Doors - Absolutely Live (1970) ★★★★
The Doors - Alive She Cried (1968) ★★★★
Jim Hendrix - People Hell & Angels (1968-70)
Jimi Hendrix Experience - Smash Hits (1968) ★★★★★
Skatalites - Legendary Skatalites In Dub (1975)
The Paul Butterfield Blues Band - In My Own Dream (1968)
Sunbirds - No Sun No Shadow (1986-1997) ★★★★
The Belltower - Popdropper (1991)
Paul Schutze - Site Anubis (1996)
Boxhead Ensemble - Electric Guitar (2017)
Gary Lee Conner - The Purple Outside (1989)★★★★
Chris Cacavas & Junkyard Love - s/t (1989) ★★★★
Extra Life - Dream Seeds (2012)
The Savage Rose - Babylon (1972)
Stars of Heaven - Sacred Heart Hotel (1986) ★★★★★
The Rose Of Avalanche - First Avalance (1985)
The Rose Of Avalanche - Always There (1986)
Titus & Ross - s/t (1970)
White Heaven - Out (1991)
Goliath - Goliath (1970) ★★★★★
Leong Lau - Dragon Man (1976)
Human Instinct - Stoned Guitar (1970)
The Great Western Squares - Judas Steer (1997)
The Great Western Squares - Almost Sober (1998)

HISTORIC SITES

Symond’s Yat Hill Fort, Forest of Dean
The Staunton Longstone, Forest of Dean
Mitchell’s Fold stone circle, Shropshire
Stowe Garden, Buckinghamshire
Barbury Castle, Wiltshire
Avebury Stone circle, Wiltshire
Harold’s Stones, Trelleck, Monmouthshire
The Virtuous Well, Trelleck, Monmouthshire
The Hedge Puzzle, Symonds Yat
British Camp Hill Fort, Malvern, Worcs
Rollright Stones, Oxfordshire
Graves of Nelly Power, Champagne Charlie, H Campbell, Abney Park
Queens Wood 16th c ditches, Highgate, London
Parkland Walk, 19th c railway line, London
Grime’s Graves Neolithic Flint Mine, Norfolk
An Arthur Machen walk via Verulam Buildings, Gray’s Inn
Kelvedon Hatch Nuclear Bunker, Essex
Owain Glyndwr’s Parliament House, Machynlleth
Raglan Castle, Monmouthshire
Rodborough Iron Age Earthworks, Gloucestershire
Domfront city and Chateau, Normandy
Utah Beach & museum, Normandy
Unstan Chambered Tomb, Orkney
Ness of Brodgar excavation, Orkney
St Magnus Cathedral, Orkney
Tomb of The Otters, Orkney
Churchill Barriers, Orkney
Broch of Borwich, Orkney
Yesnaby WWII gun emplacements, Orkney
Ring of Brodgar, Orkney
Stones of Stennes, Orkney
Barnhouse Neolithic Village, Orkney
Old Man of Hoy, Hoy, Orkney
Dwarfie Staine Neolithic Tomb, Hoy, Orkney
Midhowe Cairn, Rousay, Orkney
Midhowe Broch, Rousay, Orkney
Knowe of Yarso, Rousay, Orkney
Blackhammer Cairn, Rousay, Orkney
Taversoe Tuick, Rousay, Orkney
The Earl’s Palace, Kirkwall, Orkney
The Bishop’s Palace, Kirkwall, Orkney
Knap of Howar, Papa Westray, Orkney
South Cairn, Holm of Papa, Orkney
North Cairn, Holm of Papa, Orkney
Tomb of The Eagles, South Ronaldsay, Orkney
Castle Bloody burial chamber, Shapinsay, Orkney
Mor Stein, Shapinsay, Orkney
Burroughston Broch, Shapinsay, Orkney
HMS Tern WWII Airfield, Orkney
St Briavel’s Castle, Gloucestershire

ART EXHIBITIONS, INSTALLATIONS & MUSEUMS

Anglo Saxon Kingdoms – British Library ★★★★★
Wolverhampton City Art Gallery
Bill Viola/Michaelangelo (Royal Academy) ★★★★
Don McCullin (Tate Britain) ★★★★
Edward Burne Jones (Tate Britain) ★★★★★
Tate Britain general
London Canal Museum
Eric Gill’s stations of the cross, Westminster Cathedral
Nicholas Monro’s King Kong, Penwith ★★★★★
Manga, British Museum
Art In The City, Gloucester
Bayeux Tapestry, Normandy ★★★★★
Grayson Perry - J Cope’s Grand Tour (Infirmary, Ed’bro) ★★★★
Phoebe Traquair Murals (Mansfield Traquair Cent, Ed’bro) ★★★★
Martin Creed’s Scotsman Steps, Edinburgh
The Orkney Experience, Kirkwall, Orkney
Rackwick Folk Life Museum, Hoy, Orkney
Orkney Museum, Kirkwall, Orkney
William Blake (Tate Britain) ★★★★
The Clash’s London Calling (Museum of London) ★
Anthony Gormley (Royal Academy) ★★★★

STARS OF TRACK AND FIELD

Greta Thunberg
Radiohead
Ken Clarke
Jess Phillips
Gina Miller
Led By Donkeys
Carole Cadwalladr
Bonnie Greer
Hannah Miller (Granada Reports)
Samira Ahmed
Robin Askwith

THE GLORIOUS DEAD

Scott Walker 1943
Ranking Roger 1963
Ian Cognito 1958
Chewbacca 1944
Mike Wilhelm 1942
Judith Kerr 1923
Roky Erickson 1947
Gary Duncan 1946
Peter Fonda 1940
Neil Casal 1968
Peter Nicholls 1927
Barrie Masters 1956
Larry ‘The Mole’ Taylor 1942
Jonathan Miller (1934)

Tony Brennan (1966) - In the Autumn of 1986 a student called Tony Brennan set up a bi-weekly comedy gig in Oxford, that ran like a real comedy club. In doing so he brought student comedy in Oxford from the late ’50s into the late ‘70s. This meant that, though still behind the curve, it was 20 years ahead of where it had been. I did my first ever half hour supporting him, and without the encouragement Tony provided it would have been a harder road to stand-up. Tony - who was also a Morris Dancer and a tiddly winks master - became a diplomat, noted for his ability to do bespoke stand-up shows for the diplomat community, and died tragically early after a long fight against cancer.

FOOD

Grey Peas (Great Western Pub, Wolverhampton)
Grey Peas that I made myself (my house)
Baked potato w tuna (my house)
A mackerel pie (my house)

QU0TES OF THE YEAR

Miserable trousers, cufflinks clink, I’m nice about you. – Nice About You, Guided by Voices (2019)

We know that however well we succeed, fifty ‘experts’ (people who acquire theoretical knowledge without using it) will pour cold water on the result. And the five years later, grudgingly, and ten years later, publicly, refer to it incessantly to intimidate future electronic composers. -  Rosemary Tonks, The Bloater, 1968

In contrast with (my) generation, which had spent most of its time online learning to code so that it could add crude butterfly animations to the backgrounds of its weblogs, the generation immediately following had spent most of its time online making incredibly bigoted jokes in order to laugh at the idiots who were stupid enough to think that they meant it. Except that after a while they did mean it, and then somehow at the end of it they were white supremacists. Was this always how it happened? -  Patricia Lockwood, London Review of Books, Feb 2019

This is the Trump way. Fire, fire, fire with the blunderbuss and don’t worry if a shot or two hits an innocent bystander. Keep moving forwards - even as your opponents return fire. Never seriously consider the criticisims, just loose off more shots. It is a strategy that has benefitted Britain’s Trump tribute act, Boris Johnson. As an opinion columnist on The Telegraph , Johnson specialised in offence, from writing in 2002 that the Queen loved the Commonwealth because “it supplies her with regular cheering crowds of flag-waving picaninnies” to his recent descriptions of Muslim women in burqas “looking like letterboxes”. Such comments are deliberate provocation, pushing the boundaries of what it is permissible for a senior politician to say. IN AN ATTENTION ECONOMY, THEY ARE HARD CURRENCY. Any backlash can be portrayed as “political correctness gone mad” or “liberal Stalinism”. Even having to say sorry can be taken as proof that once again, the liberal totalitarians have triumphed. It is a game in which every path leads to victory. Yes, it is divisive, but for every voter who is repulsed, the calculation is, another is attracted. - Helen Lewis, New Statesman, 7^th June 2019

There’s a large audience for this kind of thing and comedy marketers are hip to it. A 2016 Joe Rogan special was titled, simply, Triggered. A new special from Bill Burr that offers subtle critiques of the turn against political correctness was nevertheless promoted by Netflix with a selection of clips from a rant in which Burr appears to mock the #MeToo movement, feminists, and the like. This year’s MTV Video Music Awards were hosted by 46-year-old comic Sebastian Maniscalco, whose opening monologue mocked millennials and teens. “If you feel triggered or you feel offended by anything I’m saying here or anything the musical artists are doing,” he said, “they’re providing a safe space backstage where you’ll get some stress balls and a blankie and also Lil Nas X brought his horse which will double as an emotional support animal.” Those who turned to Google afterwards wondering how an aging comedian wound up on MTV sneering at young people the network has been struggling to reach might have happened across a Forbes article listing Maniscalco, who also released a Netflix special of his own this year, as one of the top ten highest paid comedians in the world in 2018, having earned an estimated $15 million. Chappelle was third, having earned $35 million. This “mutated McCarthy era” has treated the comics on that list particularly well….. As far as comedy is concerned, “cancel culture” seems to be the name mediocrities and legends on their way to mediocrity have given their own waning relevance. They’ve set about scolding us about scolds, whining about whiners, and complaining about complaints because they would rather cling to material that was never going to stay fresh and funny forever than adapt to changing audiences, a new set of critical concerns, and a culture that might soon leave them behind. In desperation, they’ve become the tiresome cowards they accuse their critics of being—and that comics like Bruce, who built the contemporary comedy world, never were. -  OSITA NWANEVU, The New Republic, Sept ‘19

I’ve found it hard to get this article in print. One editor explained reluctance to publish on the grounds that the newspaper’s political team had cultivated excellent insider sources and publishing my piece would invite charges of hypocrisy. There was a searing honesty of sorts to this remark. Papers and media organisations yearn for privileged access and favourable treatment. And they are prepared to pay a price to get it. This price involves becoming a subsidiary part of the government machine. It means turning their readers and viewers into dupes. This client journalism allows Downing Street to frame the story as it wants. Some allow themselves to be used as tools to smear the government’s opponents. They say goodbye to the truth. Social media has provided new ways of breaking the boundaries of decent, honest journalism. Of course political journalists have always entered into behind-the-scenes deals with politicians, but this kind of arrangement has gained a new dimension since Boris Johnson entered Downing Street with the support of a client press and media. As a former lobby correspondent (on the Evening Standard, the Sunday Express and The Spectator) I understand the need for access. The job of lobby journalists is to produce information. But there is now clear evidence that the prime minister has debauched Downing Street by using the power of his office to spread propaganda and fake news. British political journalists have got chillingly close to providing the same service to Boris Johnson that Fox News delivers for Donald Trump. - Peter Oborne, Open Democracy, October 2019