As a tiny child, I fell in love with the pageantry and camaraderie of the Eurovision song contest. But my infant innocence was shattered as early as 1969 when, barely 18 months old, I watched Norway’s Kirsti Sparboe crawl criminally into last place with her swinging slice of Carnaby Street pop Oj, Oj, Oj, Så…
Sometime between quitting drinking two months ago and the evening of the general election, I developed the ability to travel through time. Or rather, it appears that time has developed the ability to travel through me. That said, if you remember when 70s donkey-jacket socialism dissolved in the acid of 80s Thatcherism, then the instinctive…
Are we naturally selfish? Or do we have an innate sense of empathy for our fellow living things? The radio journalist Herbert Morrison watched the Hindenberg come down and announced, “Oh! The humanity!” And once I stood outside a pub on the canal in Camden and watched a crowd of drunken men laughing and cheering…
The Thracian slave Aesop is historically lauded as the master of the fabular form, pitting simplistically symbolic creatures – the wily fox, the lascivious bat and the slothful sloth – against each other in tales that have delighted fans of prescriptive anthropomorphic narrative for generations. But the current race towards No 10 has an audacious…
My irregular “David Mitchell is on holiday” columns on page seven of the Observer New Review frequently generate massive web traffic, with thousands of below-the-line reader comments, though, admittedly, most of them call for me to be sexually punished. But these opportunistic weekly election diaries have provoked minimal comment-is-free contributions from the Observer’s hopefully future-proof…
This week, on a break between standup tour dates, I am on holiday with the children in Nether Stowey, Somerset, from where I file the next of my election columns. As a north London Old Speckled Hen socialist I assumed there would be little political for my satirical pen to set about in Somerset, where…
Sidsings000, Youtube
Sidsings000, Youtube
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
A D Ward, Twitter
A D Ward, Twitter
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Shit Crit, Twitter
Shit Crit, Twitter
Stuart, Chortle
Stuart, Chortle
Anon, westhamonline.com
Anon, westhamonline.com
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Peter Ould, Twitter
Peter Ould, Twitter
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
Al Murray, Comedian
Al Murray, Comedian
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Peter Ould, Youtube
Peter Ould, Youtube
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Pudabaya, Twitter
Pudabaya, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Tin Frog, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Leach Juice, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Chez, Chortle.com
Chez, Chortle.com
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Danazawa, Youtube
Danazawa, Youtube
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Kozzy06, Youtube
Kozzy06, Youtube
Wharto15, Twitter
Wharto15, Twitter
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Bosco239, youtube
Bosco239, youtube
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Z-factor, Twitter.
Z-factor, Twitter.
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Tokyofist, Youtube
Tokyofist, Youtube
Anamatronix, Youtube
Anamatronix, Youtube
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Joycey, readytogo.net
Joycey, readytogo.net
Fowkes81, Twitter
Fowkes81, Twitter
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Len Firewood, Twitter
Len Firewood, Twitter
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Mearecate, Youtube
Mearecate, Youtube
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Guest1001, Youtube
Guest1001, Youtube
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
GRTak, finalgear.com
GRTak, finalgear.com
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
John Robins, Comedian
John Robins, Comedian
Etienne, Chortle.com
Etienne, Chortle.com
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Richard Herring, Comedian
Richard Herring, Comedian
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Rudeness, Youtube
Rudeness, Youtube
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
98rosjon, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Hiewy, Youtube
Hiewy, Youtube
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
World Without End, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Keilloh, Twitter
Keilloh, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Jamespearse, Twitter
Jamespearse, Twitter
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Mpf1947, Youtube
Mpf1947, Youtube
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
Idrie, Youtube
Idrie, Youtube
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
FBC, finalgear.com
FBC, finalgear.com
Peter Fears, Twitter
Peter Fears, Twitter
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Meninblack, Twitter
Meninblack, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Brighton Argus
Brighton Argus
Borathigh5, Youtube
Borathigh5, Youtube
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Jackmumf, Twitter
Jackmumf, Twitter
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
Funday’schild, youtube.
Funday’schild, youtube.
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk