Another year, another Edinburgh Fringe. I am on my 21st, and for me the Fringe used to be a fun place, where my own brand of pretentious, experimental stand-up enjoyed no end of effusive reviews, if little or no financial reward. But this year I really need Edinburgh to work out for me in a big way.
Christian protests against the theatre piece I co-wrote, Jerry Springer The Opera, meant I never saw any money from the nine years I spent co-developing it, and was personally responsible for defending myself when I was threatened with imprisonment, defenestration and deportation for blasphemy, running up costly legal bills. A severe illness brought on by stress, resulting in the implementation of a permanent catheter and the amputation of a toe, meant I had to cancel a run at London’s Soho theatre and was left with hefty debt to the promoters. The bank are threatening to take my flat, and because my car was driven over by a tractor full of Evangelicals in Aberdeen, I couldn’t travel to those stand-up gigs that will still take me, despite the threat of prosecution for doing so. It’s nice being thought of as a great artist, but this year I need to hit paydirt!
To this end I’ve booked myself into the biggest, and classiest, venue I’ve ever played – that massive, 300-seater, purple tent in the shape of an upside down cow in Bristo Sqaure – and tried to write the kind of set that will get me on prime time television. My last Edinburgh show was praised for using a deliberately contrived collision of charged sexual, scatological and religious imagery, offset against a self-counsciously mythic narrative, to explore notions of taste, and the way meaning is qualified by context. This year I’ve written a load of stuff about spacehoppers, found a lovely glove puppet of an orange giraffe, and will be ending with a song. Hopefully, I’ll be able to pick up all Peter Kay’s crowd without losing too many of my own. I just hope it works out! Come on Edinburgh. I NEED THIS!
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
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Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
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Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
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Wharto15, Twitter
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Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
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Aaron, comedy.co.uk
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Mearecate, Youtube
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Jamespearse, Twitter
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Idrie, Youtube
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Peter Fears, Twitter
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Anon, BBC Complaints Log
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Peter Ould, Youtube
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Aiden Hearn, Twitter
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Gwaites, Digitalspy
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Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
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Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
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Microcuts 22, Twitter
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Mrdavisn01, Twitter
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James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
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Hiewy, Youtube
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GRTak, finalgear.com
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Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
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Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
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Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
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Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
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Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
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General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
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A D Ward, Twitter
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Fairy Pingu, Twitter
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Brighton Argus
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Visualiser1, Twitter
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Dick Socrates, Twitter
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Cyberbloke, Twitter
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Liam Travitt, Twitter
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Funday’schild, youtube.
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Pnethor, pne-online.com
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Sam Rooney, Youtube
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Contrapuntal, Twitter
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Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
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BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
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Etienne, Chortle.com
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FBC, finalgear.com
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Tin Frog, Twitter
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12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
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Slothy Matt, Twitter
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Rubyshoes, Twitter
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Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
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Stokeylitfest, Twitter
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Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
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Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
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Joe, Independent.co.uk
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Tres Ryan, Twitter
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Sidsings000, Youtube
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Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
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Bosco239, youtube
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Iain, eatenbymissionaries
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Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
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Danazawa, Youtube
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Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
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Jackmumf, Twitter
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Meninblack, Twitter
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Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
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Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
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Gabrielle, Chortle.com
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Foxfoxton, Youtube
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Len Firewood, Twitter
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Keilloh, Twitter
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DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
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Robert Gavin, Twitter
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Mini-x2, readytogo.net
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Borathigh5, Youtube
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Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
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Peter Ould, Twitter
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Anamatronix, Youtube
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Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
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Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
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Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
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Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
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98rosjon, Twitter
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Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
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Secretdeveloper, Youtube
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Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
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Tokyofist, Youtube
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Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
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Lents, redandwhitekop.com
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Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
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Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
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Birmingham Sunday Mercury
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Shit Crit, Twitter
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World Without End, Twitter
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Clampdown59, Twitter.
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Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
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Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
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Al Murray, Comedian
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Leach Juice, Twitter
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Zombie Hamster, Twitter
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Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
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Mpf1947, Youtube
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Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
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Sweeping Curves, Twitter
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Pudabaya, Twitter
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NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
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Fowkes81, Twitter
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Chez, Chortle.com
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Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
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Anon, westhamonline.com
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Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
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Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
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Frankie Boyle, Comedian
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Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
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Stuart, Chortle
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Guest1001, Youtube
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Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
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Richard Herring, Comedian
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Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
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Joycey, readytogo.net
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Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
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Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
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Carcrazychica, Youtube
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Rudeness, Youtube
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Emilyistrendy, Youtube
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Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
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Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
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Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
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John Robins, Comedian
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Z-factor, Twitter.
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Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com