Another year, another Edinburgh Fringe. I am on my 21st, and for me the Fringe used to be a fun place, where my own brand of pretentious, experimental stand-up enjoyed no end of effusive reviews, if little or no financial reward. But this year I really need Edinburgh to work out for me in a big way.
Christian protests against the theatre piece I co-wrote, Jerry Springer The Opera, meant I never saw any money from the nine years I spent co-developing it, and was personally responsible for defending myself when I was threatened with imprisonment, defenestration and deportation for blasphemy, running up costly legal bills. A severe illness brought on by stress, resulting in the implementation of a permanent catheter and the amputation of a toe, meant I had to cancel a run at London’s Soho theatre and was left with hefty debt to the promoters. The bank are threatening to take my flat, and because my car was driven over by a tractor full of Evangelicals in Aberdeen, I couldn’t travel to those stand-up gigs that will still take me, despite the threat of prosecution for doing so. It’s nice being thought of as a great artist, but this year I need to hit paydirt!
To this end I’ve booked myself into the biggest, and classiest, venue I’ve ever played – that massive, 300-seater, purple tent in the shape of an upside down cow in Bristo Sqaure – and tried to write the kind of set that will get me on prime time television. My last Edinburgh show was praised for using a deliberately contrived collision of charged sexual, scatological and religious imagery, offset against a self-counsciously mythic narrative, to explore notions of taste, and the way meaning is qualified by context. This year I’ve written a load of stuff about spacehoppers, found a lovely glove puppet of an orange giraffe, and will be ending with a song. Hopefully, I’ll be able to pick up all Peter Kay’s crowd without losing too many of my own. I just hope it works out! Come on Edinburgh. I NEED THIS!
Jackmumf, Twitter
Jackmumf, Twitter
Sidsings000, Youtube
Sidsings000, Youtube
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Peter Fears, Twitter
Peter Fears, Twitter
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Mearecate, Youtube
Mearecate, Youtube
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Z-factor, Twitter.
Z-factor, Twitter.
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Al Murray, Comedian
Al Murray, Comedian
Meninblack, Twitter
Meninblack, Twitter
Richard Herring, Comedian
Richard Herring, Comedian
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Pudabaya, Twitter
Pudabaya, Twitter
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
Funday’schild, youtube.
Funday’schild, youtube.
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Peter Ould, Twitter
Peter Ould, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Anamatronix, Youtube
Anamatronix, Youtube
Joycey, readytogo.net
Joycey, readytogo.net
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Chez, Chortle.com
Chez, Chortle.com
Peter Ould, Youtube
Peter Ould, Youtube
Keilloh, Twitter
Keilloh, Twitter
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Stuart, Chortle
Stuart, Chortle
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
Anon, westhamonline.com
Anon, westhamonline.com
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Bosco239, youtube
Bosco239, youtube
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Hiewy, Youtube
Hiewy, Youtube
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
98rosjon, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
Wharto15, Twitter
Wharto15, Twitter
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Borathigh5, Youtube
Borathigh5, Youtube
Kozzy06, Youtube
Kozzy06, Youtube
Idrie, Youtube
Idrie, Youtube
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Shit Crit, Twitter
Shit Crit, Twitter
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Etienne, Chortle.com
Etienne, Chortle.com
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
World Without End, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
GRTak, finalgear.com
GRTak, finalgear.com
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Tokyofist, Youtube
Tokyofist, Youtube
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Fowkes81, Twitter
Fowkes81, Twitter
Mpf1947, Youtube
Mpf1947, Youtube
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Brighton Argus
Brighton Argus
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
John Robins, Comedian
John Robins, Comedian
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Rudeness, Youtube
Rudeness, Youtube
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Len Firewood, Twitter
Len Firewood, Twitter
FBC, finalgear.com
FBC, finalgear.com
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Jamespearse, Twitter
Jamespearse, Twitter
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Guest1001, Youtube
Guest1001, Youtube
Danazawa, Youtube
Danazawa, Youtube
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
A D Ward, Twitter
A D Ward, Twitter
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter