Another year, another Edinburgh Fringe. I am on my 21st, and for me the Fringe used to be a fun place, where my own brand of pretentious, experimental stand-up enjoyed no end of effusive reviews, if little or no financial reward. But this year I really need Edinburgh to work out for me in a big way.
Christian protests against the theatre piece I co-wrote, Jerry Springer The Opera, meant I never saw any money from the nine years I spent co-developing it, and was personally responsible for defending myself when I was threatened with imprisonment, defenestration and deportation for blasphemy, running up costly legal bills. A severe illness brought on by stress, resulting in the implementation of a permanent catheter and the amputation of a toe, meant I had to cancel a run at London’s Soho theatre and was left with hefty debt to the promoters. The bank are threatening to take my flat, and because my car was driven over by a tractor full of Evangelicals in Aberdeen, I couldn’t travel to those stand-up gigs that will still take me, despite the threat of prosecution for doing so. It’s nice being thought of as a great artist, but this year I need to hit paydirt!
To this end I’ve booked myself into the biggest, and classiest, venue I’ve ever played – that massive, 300-seater, purple tent in the shape of an upside down cow in Bristo Sqaure – and tried to write the kind of set that will get me on prime time television. My last Edinburgh show was praised for using a deliberately contrived collision of charged sexual, scatological and religious imagery, offset against a self-counsciously mythic narrative, to explore notions of taste, and the way meaning is qualified by context. This year I’ve written a load of stuff about spacehoppers, found a lovely glove puppet of an orange giraffe, and will be ending with a song. Hopefully, I’ll be able to pick up all Peter Kay’s crowd without losing too many of my own. I just hope it works out! Come on Edinburgh. I NEED THIS!
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Funday’schild, youtube.
Funday’schild, youtube.
Leach Juice, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Tin Frog, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Jackmumf, Twitter
Jackmumf, Twitter
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Joycey, readytogo.net
Joycey, readytogo.net
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Meninblack, Twitter
Meninblack, Twitter
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Tokyofist, Youtube
Tokyofist, Youtube
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Wharto15, Twitter
Wharto15, Twitter
Chez, Chortle.com
Chez, Chortle.com
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Sidsings000, Youtube
Sidsings000, Youtube
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Guest1001, Youtube
Guest1001, Youtube
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Peter Fears, Twitter
Peter Fears, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Anon, westhamonline.com
Anon, westhamonline.com
Rudeness, Youtube
Rudeness, Youtube
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
John Robins, Comedian
John Robins, Comedian
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Peter Ould, Twitter
Peter Ould, Twitter
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Idrie, Youtube
Idrie, Youtube
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
FBC, finalgear.com
FBC, finalgear.com
Len Firewood, Twitter
Len Firewood, Twitter
Mearecate, Youtube
Mearecate, Youtube
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Bosco239, youtube
Bosco239, youtube
Brighton Argus
Brighton Argus
Richard Herring, Comedian
Richard Herring, Comedian
Mpf1947, Youtube
Mpf1947, Youtube
Keilloh, Twitter
Keilloh, Twitter
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Anamatronix, Youtube
Anamatronix, Youtube
A D Ward, Twitter
A D Ward, Twitter
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Danazawa, Youtube
Danazawa, Youtube
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
Al Murray, Comedian
Al Murray, Comedian
Kozzy06, Youtube
Kozzy06, Youtube
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
GRTak, finalgear.com
GRTak, finalgear.com
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Borathigh5, Youtube
Borathigh5, Youtube
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Pudabaya, Twitter
Pudabaya, Twitter
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Hiewy, Youtube
Hiewy, Youtube
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Etienne, Chortle.com
Etienne, Chortle.com
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Cyberbloke, Twitter
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Jamespearse, Twitter
Jamespearse, Twitter
Stuart, Chortle
Stuart, Chortle
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Clampdown59, Twitter.
World Without End, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Fowkes81, Twitter
Fowkes81, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Z-factor, Twitter.
Z-factor, Twitter.
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Peter Ould, Youtube
Peter Ould, Youtube
98rosjon, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Shit Crit, Twitter
Shit Crit, Twitter
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk