Another year, another Edinburgh Fringe. I am on my 21st, and for me the Fringe used to be a fun place, where my own brand of pretentious, experimental stand-up enjoyed no end of effusive reviews, if little or no financial reward. But this year I really need Edinburgh to work out for me in a big way.
Christian protests against the theatre piece I co-wrote, Jerry Springer The Opera, meant I never saw any money from the nine years I spent co-developing it, and was personally responsible for defending myself when I was threatened with imprisonment, defenestration and deportation for blasphemy, running up costly legal bills. A severe illness brought on by stress, resulting in the implementation of a permanent catheter and the amputation of a toe, meant I had to cancel a run at London’s Soho theatre and was left with hefty debt to the promoters. The bank are threatening to take my flat, and because my car was driven over by a tractor full of Evangelicals in Aberdeen, I couldn’t travel to those stand-up gigs that will still take me, despite the threat of prosecution for doing so. It’s nice being thought of as a great artist, but this year I need to hit paydirt!
To this end I’ve booked myself into the biggest, and classiest, venue I’ve ever played – that massive, 300-seater, purple tent in the shape of an upside down cow in Bristo Sqaure – and tried to write the kind of set that will get me on prime time television. My last Edinburgh show was praised for using a deliberately contrived collision of charged sexual, scatological and religious imagery, offset against a self-counsciously mythic narrative, to explore notions of taste, and the way meaning is qualified by context. This year I’ve written a load of stuff about spacehoppers, found a lovely glove puppet of an orange giraffe, and will be ending with a song. Hopefully, I’ll be able to pick up all Peter Kay’s crowd without losing too many of my own. I just hope it works out! Come on Edinburgh. I NEED THIS!
Fowkes81, Twitter
Fowkes81, Twitter
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Sidsings000, Youtube
Sidsings000, Youtube
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Shit Crit, Twitter
Shit Crit, Twitter
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Brighton Argus
Brighton Argus
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Rudeness, Youtube
Rudeness, Youtube
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Mearecate, Youtube
Mearecate, Youtube
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Microcuts 22, Twitter
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Wharto15, Twitter
Wharto15, Twitter
Keilloh, Twitter
Keilloh, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
Jamespearse, Twitter
Jamespearse, Twitter
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Len Firewood, Twitter
Len Firewood, Twitter
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Jackmumf, Twitter
Jackmumf, Twitter
John Robins, Comedian
John Robins, Comedian
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
Tokyofist, Youtube
Tokyofist, Youtube
Danazawa, Youtube
Danazawa, Youtube
Mpf1947, Youtube
Mpf1947, Youtube
Bosco239, youtube
Bosco239, youtube
Chez, Chortle.com
Chez, Chortle.com
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Sam Rooney, Youtube
98rosjon, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
Richard Herring, Comedian
Richard Herring, Comedian
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Anon, westhamonline.com
Anon, westhamonline.com
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
A D Ward, Twitter
A D Ward, Twitter
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Cyberbloke, Twitter
GRTak, finalgear.com
GRTak, finalgear.com
Leach Juice, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Guest1001, Youtube
Guest1001, Youtube
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
FBC, finalgear.com
FBC, finalgear.com
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
World Without End, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Anamatronix, Youtube
Anamatronix, Youtube
Pudabaya, Twitter
Pudabaya, Twitter
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Peter Ould, Youtube
Peter Ould, Youtube
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Z-factor, Twitter.
Z-factor, Twitter.
Stuart, Chortle
Stuart, Chortle
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Visualiser1, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Hiewy, Youtube
Hiewy, Youtube
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Kozzy06, Youtube
Kozzy06, Youtube
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Etienne, Chortle.com
Etienne, Chortle.com
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Al Murray, Comedian
Al Murray, Comedian
Meninblack, Twitter
Meninblack, Twitter
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Peter Ould, Twitter
Peter Ould, Twitter
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Borathigh5, Youtube
Borathigh5, Youtube
Funday’schild, youtube.
Funday’schild, youtube.
Idrie, Youtube
Idrie, Youtube
Joycey, readytogo.net
Joycey, readytogo.net
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Peter Fears, Twitter
Peter Fears, Twitter
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter