Some stand-up routines take years to work out. This one slipped out, as Kevin Eldon would say, like a newborn foal.
I was driving my son to school on April 25th 2013. I heard Paul Nuttalls, the then leader of the Ukips, on Radio 4 talking about immigration and it was so jumbled up it made me laugh.
I went home, played back the interview, transcribed it, and exaggerated it until I had Paul taking a position against matter itself, and by lunchtime it was done.
The routine has had a massive half life, and seems to go viral whenever people are arguing about immigration. I am glad it has given some comedy comfort to people who feel like they don’t recognise the intolerant country we now seem to be in.
When ADF said they wanted to sample it I couldn’t be happier, as it seemed the final stage of letting go to serve the greater good. And what 50-something frustrated rock star could say no to appearing in a video with a veteran punk-dance combo whose records he’d buy anyway?
The boys were very gentle with me as I tried to work out what exactly was expected of me, and in the downtime they jammed John Coltrane-style on Rogers and Hammerstein’s My Favourite Things
The version of the routine I gave ADF is a bit fuzzy on some dates and a syllable of the Anglo Saxon poetry quote seems to have gone astray – every time I performed it there’d be slippage – but I love how they have tweaked it to serve their purposes in the debate about what exactly constitutes the ever fluid notion of national identity.
I love how the flute break before the Anglo Saxon quote sounds like it’s come from 1,000 years ago, and the record is the only thing I’ve ever been involved in that my kids actually like.
Irrespective of the rights and wrongs of Brexit itself, every time a deadline looms the police report upsurges of violence against those perceived by some as unwelcome here.
ADF seem to have made something that was merely funny into something improbably powerful and it is a great honour to have been involved in it.
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Rudeness, Youtube
Rudeness, Youtube
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Foxfoxton, Youtube
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Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
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Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
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NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
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Secretdeveloper, Youtube
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Microcuts 22, Twitter
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Keilloh, Twitter
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Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
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Tres Ryan, Twitter
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Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
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Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
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Kozzy06, Youtube
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Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
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Carcrazychica, Youtube
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Visualiser1, Twitter
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Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
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Joe, Independent.co.uk
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Jackmumf, Twitter
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Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
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Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
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Etienne, Chortle.com
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Rubyshoes, Twitter
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Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
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Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
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Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
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Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
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Bosco239, youtube
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Mpf1947, Youtube
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Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
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Peter Ould, Youtube
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Contrapuntal, Twitter
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Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
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Borathigh5, Youtube
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Guest1001, Youtube
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Chez, Chortle.com
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Frankie Boyle, Comedian
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Brighton Argus
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FBC, finalgear.com
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Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
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Pudabaya, Twitter
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Anamatronix, Youtube
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Mrdavisn01, Twitter
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Len Firewood, Twitter
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Pnethor, pne-online.com
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Meninblack, Twitter
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Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
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Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
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Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
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Shit Crit, Twitter
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Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
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Funday’schild, youtube.
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James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
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Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
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98rosjon, Twitter
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Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
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Idrie, Youtube
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Danazawa, Youtube
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12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
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Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
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Mearecate, Youtube
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Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
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General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
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Anon, BBC Complaints Log
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Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
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GRTak, finalgear.com
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A D Ward, Twitter
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Fairy Pingu, Twitter
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Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
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Aiden Hearn, Twitter
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Robert Gavin, Twitter
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Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
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Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
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Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
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Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
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Cyberbloke, Twitter
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Fowkes81, Twitter
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Aaron, comedy.co.uk
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Gabrielle, Chortle.com
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Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
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Sweeping Curves, Twitter
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Gwaites, Digitalspy
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DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
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Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
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Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
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Wharto15, Twitter
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Tin Frog, Twitter
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Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
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Sam Rooney, Youtube
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Leach Juice, Twitter
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Emilyistrendy, Youtube
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Z-factor, Twitter.
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Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
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Joycey, readytogo.net
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Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
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Richard Herring, Comedian
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Clampdown59, Twitter.
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Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
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Sidsings000, Youtube
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Stuart, Chortle
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Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
John Robins, Comedian
John Robins, Comedian
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
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Anon, westhamonline.com
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Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Peter Fears, Twitter
Peter Fears, Twitter
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Iain, eatenbymissionaries
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Tokyofist, Youtube
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Peter Ould, Twitter
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Jamespearse, Twitter
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Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
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Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Al Murray, Comedian
Al Murray, Comedian
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Hiewy, Youtube
Hiewy, Youtube
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter















