Vote no to the thinktank pod people trying to body-snatch the National Trust - September 2023 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - September 24th, 2023

I love British traditions. Whose heart soars not upon seeing some drunk men chasing a cheese down a fatally steep Gloucestershire hill, or some drunk men burning their faces off carrying flaming tar barrels on their heads in a Devonshire village, or some drunk men dropping an enormous effigy of David Jason into a giant…

The Tories watering down protections for polluted rivers? I smell a rat - September 2023 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - September 3rd, 2023

Last Monday, the Conservative government announced plans to scrap the water pollution rules that protect rivers from environmental damage caused by nearby housebuilding. Some people accuse Sunak’s government of being a zombie government, trapped by infighting and incompetence in legislative inertia, incapable of seeing any task through. This is unfair on zombies who, given enough…

As Britain drowns in filth, the Tories want more toilets - August 2023 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - August 20th, 2023

There are important questions to be asked about lavatories, and Kemi Badenoch is certainly the Tory best suited to answering them. A report in the government’s Daily Telegraph mouthpiece announced that a new government initiative would see the equalities minister, Kemi Badenoch, appoint a Tory lavatories tsar, a task that would doubtless make her flush…

This dying, sweary Tory government wants to drag us down with it - August 2023 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - August 13th, 2023

A cat got hit in our road one night, expiring all too slowly, yowling in enormous pain. People stood on the pavement in their sitcom pyjamas, knowing the kindest thing to do would be to run into the traffic and whack it with a spade. In the end, as the north London wokerati procrastinated into…

Rishi Sunak – a total investment banker - August 2023 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - August 6th, 2023

I view human nature through the Techniscope ™® lens of 1960s Italian cowboy films. In Spaghetti Western World, the men we most despise are those who, when the chips are down, snatch an innocent peasant child and put a pistol to their temple, to use as a human shield until their demands are met. Our…

Europe burns while the Tories’ net zero plans are set to go up in smoke - July 2023 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - July 30th, 2023

It’s 2am on Thursday. Wildfires are burning in Greece, Italy, Tunisia, Portugal, Croatia and Algeria. British tourist climate refugees are, ironically, being rescued by friendly locals in small boats. Stop the boats! No! Not those boats! The other ones! The ones with brown people in them! But the main environmental news in the past few…