Wouldn’t it be wonderful to hear what would be said at our own funeral? When Michael Gove attends next month’s An Evening With Michael Gove, at Westminster’s Emmanuel Centre, the backpedalling Brexiteer will emerge with some idea of the tone of his forthcoming political obituary. An enterprising promoter should reboot the night as Michael Gove…
Last time I filed one of these Observer columns it was the March weekend of our first failed attempt to leave the European Union. I felt I was living in a farce. Brexit is the No Sex Please, We’re British of European political integration. It will run and run. Chris Grayling spends 14 million pounds…
The March to Leave is a sparsely attended, fortnight-long, 200-mile protest ramble, aimed at securing Brexit, a trembling parliament its final destination. I wanted to see it in the flesh so I could tell my grandchildren “I was there”, before taunting them with descriptions of toilet paper. Nearly three years ago, during the week of…
A newly discovered birth relative of mine, a Catholic priest, is an exorcist, from County Cork. The Exorcist came to stay on Wednesday. The next evening he was doing what he called “a fairly straightforward overnight identify, isolate, subdue and expel job” in Angel. He wasn’t allowed to talk about it, and knows I’m an…
Last week, supposedly unprecedented spring wildfires raged across dry, bushy and exposed areas. On Monday, having dealt with serious incidents at Saddleworth Moor and Hundred Acre Wood, teams of specialised firefighters also attended the small piece of Shredded Wheat that lives on top of Andrew Neil’s head. Dozens of grateful weevils were saved from certain…
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Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
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Meninblack, Twitter
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Liam Travitt, Twitter
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A D Ward, Twitter
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General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
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Tres Ryan, Twitter
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Robert Gavin, Twitter
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Joycey, readytogo.net
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Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
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Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
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Aiden Hearn, Twitter
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Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
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Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
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Anon, westhamonline.com
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Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
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Sidsings000, Youtube
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Etienne, Chortle.com
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Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
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Mpf1947, Youtube
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Jamespearse, Twitter
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Carcrazychica, Youtube
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Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
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Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
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Slothy Matt, Twitter
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Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
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Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
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Fairy Pingu, Twitter
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Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
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Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
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Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
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Frankie Boyle, Comedian
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Anamatronix, Youtube
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Len Firewood, Twitter
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Tin Frog, Twitter
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Fowkes81, Twitter
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Jackmumf, Twitter
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98rosjon, Twitter
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Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
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Joe, Independent.co.uk
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Kozzy06, Youtube
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Secretdeveloper, Youtube
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Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
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Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
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Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
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Horatio Melvin, Twitter
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Rubyshoes, Twitter
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Emilyistrendy, Youtube
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Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
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Wharto15, Twitter
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Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
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Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
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John Robins, Comedian
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Idrie, Youtube
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Pnethor, pne-online.com
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Hiewy, Youtube
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12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
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Borathigh5, Youtube
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Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
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Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
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Peter Fears, Twitter
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Rudeness, Youtube
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Contrapuntal, Twitter
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NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
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Visualiser1, Twitter
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Richard Herring, Comedian
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Leach Juice, Twitter
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Microcuts 22, Twitter
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Birmingham Sunday Mercury
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Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
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Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
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Guest1001, Youtube
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Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
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Keilloh, Twitter
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Stuart, Chortle
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Dick Socrates, Twitter
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Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
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Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
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Aaron, comedy.co.uk
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Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
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FBC, finalgear.com
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Peter Ould, Twitter
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Mini-x2, readytogo.net
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Bosco239, youtube
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Stokeylitfest, Twitter
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Shit Crit, Twitter
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Cyberbloke, Twitter
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Anon, BBC Complaints Log
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BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
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Iain, eatenbymissionaries
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Mrdavisn01, Twitter
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Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
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Brighton Argus
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Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
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Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
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Foxfoxton, Youtube
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Gabrielle, Chortle.com
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Chez, Chortle.com
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Mearecate, Youtube
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Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
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Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
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Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
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Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
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Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
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Pudabaya, Twitter
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Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
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Clampdown59, Twitter.
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Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
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Funday’schild, youtube.
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GRTak, finalgear.com
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Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
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James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
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Sam Rooney, Youtube
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Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
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Gwaites, Digitalspy
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Lents, redandwhitekop.com
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Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
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Danazawa, Youtube
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World Without End, Twitter
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Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
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Tokyofist, Youtube
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Peter Ould, Youtube
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Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
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Al Murray, Comedian
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Sweeping Curves, Twitter
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Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
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DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
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Zombie Hamster, Twitter
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Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk