YOU’D have to be as drunk as Phil Mitchell to find Celebrity Juice funny. It’s like a tenth rate Shooting Stars.
People titter because Keith Lemon leers at breasts and says “milk, milk”. What are we, six? Ooh, he said fanny, he said poo…
On his live show, Lemon got his first laughs with “Oh f***, we’re live”, followed by “I whacked her in the face with me c**k”.
Oscar Wilde eat yer heart out. This is lobotomised comedy aimed at the Club 18-30 crowd after a night on Jägerbombs – the comic equivalent of a tanked-up footballer at Cheltenham.
It’s lazy toilet humour bereft of wit or insight but it’s still arguably preferable to Stewart Lee’s smart-arse ramblings. Lee caters for the smug, right-on, middle class Guardian-reading crowd – the people who share his elitist prejudices.
He despises Only Fools & Horses, arguably the greatest British sitcom ever made, and only last week said Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust album made him “physically sick”.
On Thursday he turned his fire on the English flag, linking it falsely to the 1970s National Front (who actually marched behind the Union Jack).
He then spent two thirds of a dull, self-indulgent show talking about his cat, allegedly called Jeremy Corbyn, and its diarrhoea – blowing a raspberry for three minutes while it defecated on the cross of St George.
Looking for laughs in this garbage is like searching for the meaning of life in a Joey Essex documentary. Ah, but clever people tell me I’m missing the joke.
Stewart Lee is just as much a character as Keith Lemon, they say, but brighter. His rambling, repetitive shtick is an act.
He’s actually subverting comedy. Maybe so, but 1) it’s very hard to tell where the fake Lee stops and the real Lee starts, and 2) this is the fourth series ploughing the same shallow furrow.
Like a herpes sore, there is no getting rid of him. Comedy is a matter of taste, of course, but it’s a matter of fact that Oxbridge comedians – which Lee is – get most TV bookings because Oxbridge educated commissioners control the process. The same kind of cretins who sacked Les Dawson…
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Tin Frog, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Tokyofist, Youtube
Tokyofist, Youtube
Jackmumf, Twitter
Jackmumf, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Richard Herring, Comedian
Richard Herring, Comedian
Anon, westhamonline.com
Anon, westhamonline.com
Borathigh5, Youtube
Borathigh5, Youtube
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
Jamespearse, Twitter
Jamespearse, Twitter
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Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
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Al Murray, Comedian
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Microcuts 22, Twitter
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Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
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Rudeness, Youtube
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Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
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Z-factor, Twitter.
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Joycey, readytogo.net
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Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
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Fairy Pingu, Twitter
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Gabrielle, Chortle.com
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Clampdown59, Twitter.
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John Robins, Comedian
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Sam Rooney, Youtube
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Funday’schild, youtube.
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Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
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Horatio Melvin, Twitter
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Fowkes81, Twitter
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Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
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Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
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Pudabaya, Twitter
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Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
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Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
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Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
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Stuart, Chortle
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Meninblack, Twitter
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Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Peter Ould, Twitter
Peter Ould, Twitter
Brighton Argus
Brighton Argus
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Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
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Stokeylitfest, Twitter
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Etienne, Chortle.com
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Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
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Peter Fears, Twitter
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Robert Gavin, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter
Sidsings000, Youtube
Sidsings000, Youtube
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Rubyshoes, Twitter
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Len Firewood, Twitter
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Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Keilloh, Twitter
Keilloh, Twitter
Bosco239, youtube
Bosco239, youtube
Wharto15, Twitter
Wharto15, Twitter
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Hiewy, Youtube
Hiewy, Youtube
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Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Mpf1947, Youtube
Mpf1947, Youtube
FBC, finalgear.com
FBC, finalgear.com
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Cyberbloke, Twitter
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Chez, Chortle.com
Mearecate, Youtube
Mearecate, Youtube
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Shit Crit, Twitter
Shit Crit, Twitter
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
GRTak, finalgear.com
GRTak, finalgear.com
A D Ward, Twitter
A D Ward, Twitter
Idrie, Youtube
Idrie, Youtube
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Danazawa, Youtube
Danazawa, Youtube
Kozzy06, Youtube
Kozzy06, Youtube
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Anamatronix, Youtube
Anamatronix, Youtube
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Peter Ould, Youtube
Peter Ould, Youtube
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Guest1001, Youtube
Guest1001, Youtube
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Liam Travitt, Twitter