YOU’D have to be as drunk as Phil Mitchell to find Celebrity Juice funny. It’s like a tenth rate Shooting Stars.
People titter because Keith Lemon leers at breasts and says “milk, milk”. What are we, six? Ooh, he said fanny, he said poo…
On his live show, Lemon got his first laughs with “Oh f***, we’re live”, followed by “I whacked her in the face with me c**k”.
Oscar Wilde eat yer heart out. This is lobotomised comedy aimed at the Club 18-30 crowd after a night on Jägerbombs – the comic equivalent of a tanked-up footballer at Cheltenham.
It’s lazy toilet humour bereft of wit or insight but it’s still arguably preferable to Stewart Lee’s smart-arse ramblings. Lee caters for the smug, right-on, middle class Guardian-reading crowd – the people who share his elitist prejudices.
He despises Only Fools & Horses, arguably the greatest British sitcom ever made, and only last week said Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust album made him “physically sick”.
On Thursday he turned his fire on the English flag, linking it falsely to the 1970s National Front (who actually marched behind the Union Jack).
He then spent two thirds of a dull, self-indulgent show talking about his cat, allegedly called Jeremy Corbyn, and its diarrhoea – blowing a raspberry for three minutes while it defecated on the cross of St George.
Looking for laughs in this garbage is like searching for the meaning of life in a Joey Essex documentary. Ah, but clever people tell me I’m missing the joke.
Stewart Lee is just as much a character as Keith Lemon, they say, but brighter. His rambling, repetitive shtick is an act.
He’s actually subverting comedy. Maybe so, but 1) it’s very hard to tell where the fake Lee stops and the real Lee starts, and 2) this is the fourth series ploughing the same shallow furrow.
Like a herpes sore, there is no getting rid of him. Comedy is a matter of taste, of course, but it’s a matter of fact that Oxbridge comedians – which Lee is – get most TV bookings because Oxbridge educated commissioners control the process. The same kind of cretins who sacked Les Dawson…
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
World Without End, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter
A D Ward, Twitter
A D Ward, Twitter
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Leach Juice, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
Al Murray, Comedian
Al Murray, Comedian
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Anon, westhamonline.com
Anon, westhamonline.com
Sidsings000, Youtube
Sidsings000, Youtube
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
98rosjon, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Keilloh, Twitter
Keilloh, Twitter
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Cyberbloke, Twitter
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
Guest1001, Youtube
Guest1001, Youtube
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Hiewy, Youtube
Hiewy, Youtube
Peter Ould, Youtube
Peter Ould, Youtube
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Shit Crit, Twitter
Shit Crit, Twitter
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Anamatronix, Youtube
Anamatronix, Youtube
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
FBC, finalgear.com
FBC, finalgear.com
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Jamespearse, Twitter
Jamespearse, Twitter
Rudeness, Youtube
Rudeness, Youtube
Mpf1947, Youtube
Mpf1947, Youtube
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Peter Fears, Twitter
Peter Fears, Twitter
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Idrie, Youtube
Idrie, Youtube
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Tres Ryan, Twitter
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Kozzy06, Youtube
Kozzy06, Youtube
Wharto15, Twitter
Wharto15, Twitter
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Mearecate, Youtube
Mearecate, Youtube
Fowkes81, Twitter
Fowkes81, Twitter
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Borathigh5, Youtube
Borathigh5, Youtube
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Tin Frog, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Meninblack, Twitter
Meninblack, Twitter
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Visualiser1, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Len Firewood, Twitter
Len Firewood, Twitter
Etienne, Chortle.com
Etienne, Chortle.com
John Robins, Comedian
John Robins, Comedian
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Stuart, Chortle
Stuart, Chortle
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Brighton Argus
Brighton Argus
Richard Herring, Comedian
Richard Herring, Comedian
Danazawa, Youtube
Danazawa, Youtube
Peter Ould, Twitter
Peter Ould, Twitter
Bosco239, youtube
Bosco239, youtube
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Funday’schild, youtube.
Funday’schild, youtube.
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Chez, Chortle.com
Chez, Chortle.com
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
GRTak, finalgear.com
GRTak, finalgear.com
Joycey, readytogo.net
Joycey, readytogo.net
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Jackmumf, Twitter
Jackmumf, Twitter
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Tokyofist, Youtube
Tokyofist, Youtube
Z-factor, Twitter.
Z-factor, Twitter.
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Pudabaya, Twitter
Pudabaya, Twitter