YOU’D have to be as drunk as Phil Mitchell to find Celebrity Juice funny. It’s like a tenth rate Shooting Stars.
People titter because Keith Lemon leers at breasts and says “milk, milk”. What are we, six? Ooh, he said fanny, he said poo…
On his live show, Lemon got his first laughs with “Oh f***, we’re live”, followed by “I whacked her in the face with me c**k”.
Oscar Wilde eat yer heart out. This is lobotomised comedy aimed at the Club 18-30 crowd after a night on Jägerbombs – the comic equivalent of a tanked-up footballer at Cheltenham.
It’s lazy toilet humour bereft of wit or insight but it’s still arguably preferable to Stewart Lee’s smart-arse ramblings. Lee caters for the smug, right-on, middle class Guardian-reading crowd – the people who share his elitist prejudices.
He despises Only Fools & Horses, arguably the greatest British sitcom ever made, and only last week said Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust album made him “physically sick”.
On Thursday he turned his fire on the English flag, linking it falsely to the 1970s National Front (who actually marched behind the Union Jack).
He then spent two thirds of a dull, self-indulgent show talking about his cat, allegedly called Jeremy Corbyn, and its diarrhoea – blowing a raspberry for three minutes while it defecated on the cross of St George.
Looking for laughs in this garbage is like searching for the meaning of life in a Joey Essex documentary. Ah, but clever people tell me I’m missing the joke.
Stewart Lee is just as much a character as Keith Lemon, they say, but brighter. His rambling, repetitive shtick is an act.
He’s actually subverting comedy. Maybe so, but 1) it’s very hard to tell where the fake Lee stops and the real Lee starts, and 2) this is the fourth series ploughing the same shallow furrow.
Like a herpes sore, there is no getting rid of him. Comedy is a matter of taste, of course, but it’s a matter of fact that Oxbridge comedians – which Lee is – get most TV bookings because Oxbridge educated commissioners control the process. The same kind of cretins who sacked Les Dawson…
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Peter Ould, Twitter
Peter Ould, Twitter
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Shit Crit, Twitter
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Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
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Stokeylitfest, Twitter
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Jamespearse, Twitter
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Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
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Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
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Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
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Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
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Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
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Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
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Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
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Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
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Kozzy06, Youtube
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Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
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Peter Fears, Twitter
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World Without End, Twitter
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Mrdavisn01, Twitter
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Brighton Argus
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Gabrielle, Chortle.com
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Guest1001, Youtube
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Al Murray, Comedian
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Tin Frog, Twitter
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Zombie Hamster, Twitter
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Leach Juice, Twitter
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Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
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Stuart, Chortle
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James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
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Pudabaya, Twitter
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Bosco239, youtube
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Aaron, comedy.co.uk
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Keilloh, Twitter
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Birmingham Sunday Mercury
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Idrie, Youtube
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Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
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Funday’schild, youtube.
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Mearecate, Youtube
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Aiden Hearn, Twitter
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Mini-x2, readytogo.net
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Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
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12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
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Lents, redandwhitekop.com
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Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
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Meninblack, Twitter
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A D Ward, Twitter
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Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
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Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Joycey, readytogo.net
Joycey, readytogo.net
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Rudeness, Youtube
Rudeness, Youtube
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Secretdeveloper, Youtube
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Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
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Peter Ould, Youtube
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DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
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Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
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Mpf1947, Youtube
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Clampdown59, Twitter.
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Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
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Borathigh5, Youtube
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Tres Ryan, Twitter
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
FBC, finalgear.com
FBC, finalgear.com
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Len Firewood, Twitter
Len Firewood, Twitter
Anamatronix, Youtube
Anamatronix, Youtube
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Sidsings000, Youtube
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Cyberbloke, Twitter
Anon, westhamonline.com
Anon, westhamonline.com
Fowkes81, Twitter
Fowkes81, Twitter
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Visualiser1, Twitter
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Rubyshoes, Twitter
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Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
GRTak, finalgear.com
GRTak, finalgear.com
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Sam Rooney, Youtube
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Z-factor, Twitter.
Richard Herring, Comedian
Richard Herring, Comedian
Wharto15, Twitter
Wharto15, Twitter
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Danazawa, Youtube
Danazawa, Youtube
Etienne, Chortle.com
Etienne, Chortle.com
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Chez, Chortle.com
Chez, Chortle.com
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
John Robins, Comedian
John Robins, Comedian
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Hiewy, Youtube
Hiewy, Youtube
Jackmumf, Twitter
Jackmumf, Twitter
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
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Tokyofist, Youtube
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
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Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read