YOU’D have to be as drunk as Phil Mitchell to find Celebrity Juice funny. It’s like a tenth rate Shooting Stars.
People titter because Keith Lemon leers at breasts and says “milk, milk”. What are we, six? Ooh, he said fanny, he said poo…
On his live show, Lemon got his first laughs with “Oh f***, we’re live”, followed by “I whacked her in the face with me c**k”.
Oscar Wilde eat yer heart out. This is lobotomised comedy aimed at the Club 18-30 crowd after a night on Jägerbombs – the comic equivalent of a tanked-up footballer at Cheltenham.
It’s lazy toilet humour bereft of wit or insight but it’s still arguably preferable to Stewart Lee’s smart-arse ramblings. Lee caters for the smug, right-on, middle class Guardian-reading crowd – the people who share his elitist prejudices.
He despises Only Fools & Horses, arguably the greatest British sitcom ever made, and only last week said Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust album made him “physically sick”.
On Thursday he turned his fire on the English flag, linking it falsely to the 1970s National Front (who actually marched behind the Union Jack).
He then spent two thirds of a dull, self-indulgent show talking about his cat, allegedly called Jeremy Corbyn, and its diarrhoea – blowing a raspberry for three minutes while it defecated on the cross of St George.
Looking for laughs in this garbage is like searching for the meaning of life in a Joey Essex documentary. Ah, but clever people tell me I’m missing the joke.
Stewart Lee is just as much a character as Keith Lemon, they say, but brighter. His rambling, repetitive shtick is an act.
He’s actually subverting comedy. Maybe so, but 1) it’s very hard to tell where the fake Lee stops and the real Lee starts, and 2) this is the fourth series ploughing the same shallow furrow.
Like a herpes sore, there is no getting rid of him. Comedy is a matter of taste, of course, but it’s a matter of fact that Oxbridge comedians – which Lee is – get most TV bookings because Oxbridge educated commissioners control the process. The same kind of cretins who sacked Les Dawson…
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Brighton Argus
Brighton Argus
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Chez, Chortle.com
Chez, Chortle.com
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Anamatronix, Youtube
Anamatronix, Youtube
Richard Herring, Comedian
Richard Herring, Comedian
Keilloh, Twitter
Keilloh, Twitter
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Anon, westhamonline.com
Anon, westhamonline.com
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Jamespearse, Twitter
Jamespearse, Twitter
Len Firewood, Twitter
Len Firewood, Twitter
Rudeness, Youtube
Rudeness, Youtube
Kozzy06, Youtube
Kozzy06, Youtube
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
Al Murray, Comedian
Al Murray, Comedian
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Funday’schild, youtube.
Funday’schild, youtube.
Jackmumf, Twitter
Jackmumf, Twitter
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Pudabaya, Twitter
Pudabaya, Twitter
Joycey, readytogo.net
Joycey, readytogo.net
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
98rosjon, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Peter Fears, Twitter
Peter Fears, Twitter
Mpf1947, Youtube
Mpf1947, Youtube
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Tin Frog, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Fowkes81, Twitter
Fowkes81, Twitter
Stuart, Chortle
Stuart, Chortle
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Z-factor, Twitter.
Z-factor, Twitter.
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Shit Crit, Twitter
Shit Crit, Twitter
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Bosco239, youtube
Bosco239, youtube
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Visualiser1, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Hiewy, Youtube
Hiewy, Youtube
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Tokyofist, Youtube
Tokyofist, Youtube
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
A D Ward, Twitter
A D Ward, Twitter
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
GRTak, finalgear.com
GRTak, finalgear.com
Peter Ould, Youtube
Peter Ould, Youtube
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Wharto15, Twitter
Wharto15, Twitter
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Danazawa, Youtube
Danazawa, Youtube
Mearecate, Youtube
Mearecate, Youtube
Leach Juice, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
Meninblack, Twitter
Meninblack, Twitter
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Peter Ould, Twitter
Peter Ould, Twitter
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Guest1001, Youtube
Guest1001, Youtube
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Carcrazychica, Youtube
FBC, finalgear.com
FBC, finalgear.com
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Borathigh5, Youtube
Borathigh5, Youtube
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Idrie, Youtube
Idrie, Youtube
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Sidsings000, Youtube
Sidsings000, Youtube
John Robins, Comedian
John Robins, Comedian
World Without End, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Etienne, Chortle.com
Etienne, Chortle.com
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube