Will Self has written a puff piece in the New Statesman on Stewart Lee and various instruments across the globe measuring the degree of wank in the world have exploded it has been revealed.
Professor Charles Langtree of The Felchfield Institute said ‘My Twat barometer melted last night.’
‘Then the Wankometer blew up followed by the Arse-i-flex erupting. I have never seen such behaviour on our instruments.’
‘I knew from these actions some horrific trio of turd had occurred and upon investigation found the article.’
‘Despite being politically in the same place, both myself and world instruments can’t cope with the sheer volume of shite. There was a worrying wobble in Neptune’s gravitational field at the same time.’
‘If this causes the universe to implode, I’m going to be really, really annoyed.’
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Jackmumf, Twitter
Jackmumf, Twitter
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Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
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Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
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Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
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Slothy Matt, Twitter
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Cyberbloke, Twitter
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Pudabaya, Twitter
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Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
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Leach Juice, Twitter
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Frankie Boyle, Comedian
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Microcuts 22, Twitter
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Z-factor, Twitter.
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Lents, redandwhitekop.com
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Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
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Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
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Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
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Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
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Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
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Horatio Melvin, Twitter
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Hiewy, Youtube
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Aaron, comedy.co.uk
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Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
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James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
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Wharto15, Twitter
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Guest1001, Youtube
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John Robins, Comedian
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Stuart, Chortle
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Pnethor, pne-online.com
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Gabrielle, Chortle.com
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Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
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FBC, finalgear.com
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Peter Ould, Twitter
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Peter Ould, Youtube
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Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
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Emilyistrendy, Youtube
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Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
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Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
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DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
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Contrapuntal, Twitter
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Iain, eatenbymissionaries
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Shit Crit, Twitter
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Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
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Funday’schild, youtube.
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Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
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Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
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Brighton Argus
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Mrdavisn01, Twitter
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GRTak, finalgear.com
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Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
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Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
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A D Ward, Twitter
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Joe, Independent.co.uk
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Clampdown59, Twitter.
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Foxfoxton, Youtube
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Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
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Meninblack, Twitter
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Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
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Jamespearse, Twitter
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Gwaites, Digitalspy
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Anon, westhamonline.com
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Sam Rooney, Youtube
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Idrie, Youtube
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Al Murray, Comedian
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Etienne, Chortle.com
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Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
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Fairy Pingu, Twitter
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Kozzy06, Youtube
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98rosjon, Twitter
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Robert Gavin, Twitter
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Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
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Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
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Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
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Mearecate, Youtube
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Visualiser1, Twitter
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Tres Ryan, Twitter
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Sidsings000, Youtube
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Len Firewood, Twitter
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Tokyofist, Youtube
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Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
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Carcrazychica, Youtube
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Stokeylitfest, Twitter
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Tin Frog, Twitter
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Anamatronix, Youtube
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Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
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Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
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Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
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Secretdeveloper, Youtube
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Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
Rudeness, Youtube
Rudeness, Youtube
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Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
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Sweeping Curves, Twitter
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Keilloh, Twitter
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
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Fowkes81, Twitter
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Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
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Rubyshoes, Twitter
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Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
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Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Bosco239, youtube
Bosco239, youtube
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Mini-x2, readytogo.net
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Liam Travitt, Twitter
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
Peter Fears, Twitter
Peter Fears, Twitter
Borathigh5, Youtube
Borathigh5, Youtube
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
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Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Joycey, readytogo.net
Joycey, readytogo.net
Richard Herring, Comedian
Richard Herring, Comedian
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
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Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
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General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
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Mpf1947, Youtube
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Chez, Chortle.com
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Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
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Danazawa, Youtube
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World Without End, Twitter
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Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
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Dick Socrates, Twitter
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Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
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Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk