I’ve done a fair amount of solo performing throughout my career – in fact, I started out as a stand-up comedian, and from time to time I revisit that sort of shtick, doing little gigs in the upstairs rooms of pubs. But mostly I do “shows” of one sort or another to support the publication of my books. Time was when these public readings were convened in the big chain bookstores: Waterstones, Blackwell’s and – before its demise – Borders. Audiences might be relatively small, but they had usually chipped up because they were interested in the writing; the live act was just an add-on.
But nowadays all bookshops are in free fall and the business of literary promotion has shifted to literary festivals and gigs in small theatres (if, that is, you can put bums on seats). In line with the decline of serious solitary reading, punters demand to be entertained collectively.
I’ve lost count of the number of times I have stared out into dusty velveteen darkness at the rows of upturned faces looming up at me, pale as the caps of poisonous mushroom. At these moments, just before I zing the first one-liner out into the stalls, I try to assay the mood and tenor of the crowd: are they febrile or enervated, in the mood for laughter or tears? And, more to the point, am I febrile or enervated, in the mood for tears or laughter?
Now, I hope you noticed the subtle but important reversal in the chiasmus above: for an audience, laughter is a balm and a restorative, lifting it collectively out of the rut its massed feet have worn throughout the daily go-round: for the performer, however, laughter is always an easy way of gaining acceptance. “Laugh,” as the hoary old adage has it, “and the world laughs with you.” But really this formula should also be subject to reversal; from the isolated performer’s point of view, the important thing is that if the world is laughing, and you’re laughing as well, the world will assume you’re part of it, rather than some weirdo scam-merchant trying to pull one over.
In my experience, an audience will have both a lowest and a highest common denominator of taste and discrimination. Tell a crass joke and you may undershoot an audience’s low point; but craft too artful a witticism and it may zing over their heads rather than hitting them in the eye. In either case, there will be muttering and disaffection, and they won’t even laugh at you, let alone with. Audiences naturally long to become a single psyche surging with the same emotion; and producing this state-of-minds is the desideratum for all performers – yet woe betide he who misjudges it, because then, instead of being enfolded by the group mind, he will be abandoned to die alone in the full glare of the limelight.
Even more serious an error is misplaced seriousness. Adjudge your crowd to be too high-minded and you’ll come off looking like a pretentious prat; assay viewers too basely, and they’ll think, “You patronising dipstick.” And of course, all these judgements have to be made lightning-quick, lest the mood curdle and then go emphatically off. So, the temptation – if you’re a performer – is always to pitch low rather than high, and always to aim for the funny-bone rather than the sensitive one. Nevertheless, the allure of this tactic needs to be resisted: for, though audiences may roar with delight, with each mass contraction of their diaphragms, you’re being repelled – because, in your sad eagerness to be liked, you’ve transformed yourself into just another puppet-cum-clown, jerking about on strings of low self-esteem.
I thought about all this the other evening when I went to see Stewart Lee’s new stand-up show at the Leicester Square Theatre in London. Lee is perhaps the most intelligent comedian ever to tread British boards, and the genius of his shtick consists in large part in his willingness to flout all the rules of mass psychology outlined above. Rather than trade on audiences’ basest inclinations, Lee seeks constantly to raise their game. He does this by denigrating them – and himself. On the evening I saw him, he continually told us we were too slow and stupid to get his jokes, and that we needn’t bother laughing, as he considered us of no account. At the same time, he presented a portrait of himself as a deeply insecure man, fed up with the thankless cycle of touring mid-sized venues, who feels an affinity with prostitutes because, like them: “I do something for people they desperately want, but they’ve nothing but contempt for me.”
This seemed like reverse psychology: what we were meant to feel as Lee berated us was that we were perspicacious enough to see through his act and appreciate his real message: namely, that we were sufficiently wise and witty to appreciate how wise and witty he is. But actually, Lee is a good enough actor to keep the other possibility open. In line with Papa Sigmund’s dictum, he isn’t joking at all, but hoodwinking us with his own ironic sensibility as he kvetches and badmouths in plain sight, cackling internally all the while. Now, the Venn intersection between these two, quite high audience denominators markedly reduces Lee’s likelihood of laughs. Not that this seems to bother him . . . Or then again, maybe it does . . .
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Mearecate, Youtube
Mearecate, Youtube
Keilloh, Twitter
Keilloh, Twitter
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Z-factor, Twitter.
Z-factor, Twitter.
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
98rosjon, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
Stuart, Chortle
Stuart, Chortle
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Mpf1947, Youtube
Mpf1947, Youtube
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Shit Crit, Twitter
Shit Crit, Twitter
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Kozzy06, Youtube
Kozzy06, Youtube
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Anon, westhamonline.com
Anon, westhamonline.com
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Tokyofist, Youtube
Tokyofist, Youtube
Al Murray, Comedian
Al Murray, Comedian
Joycey, readytogo.net
Joycey, readytogo.net
Danazawa, Youtube
Danazawa, Youtube
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Funday’schild, youtube.
Funday’schild, youtube.
World Without End, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
Guest1001, Youtube
Guest1001, Youtube
Peter Fears, Twitter
Peter Fears, Twitter
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
Jackmumf, Twitter
Jackmumf, Twitter
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Borathigh5, Youtube
Borathigh5, Youtube
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Jamespearse, Twitter
Jamespearse, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Anamatronix, Youtube
Anamatronix, Youtube
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
A D Ward, Twitter
A D Ward, Twitter
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Liam Travitt, Twitter
GRTak, finalgear.com
GRTak, finalgear.com
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Peter Ould, Twitter
Peter Ould, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Peter Ould, Youtube
Peter Ould, Youtube
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
John Robins, Comedian
John Robins, Comedian
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Fowkes81, Twitter
Fowkes81, Twitter
Bosco239, youtube
Bosco239, youtube
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Richard Herring, Comedian
Richard Herring, Comedian
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Len Firewood, Twitter
Len Firewood, Twitter
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Hiewy, Youtube
Hiewy, Youtube
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Brighton Argus
Brighton Argus
Idrie, Youtube
Idrie, Youtube
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Rudeness, Youtube
Rudeness, Youtube
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Chez, Chortle.com
Chez, Chortle.com
Etienne, Chortle.com
Etienne, Chortle.com
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Sidsings000, Youtube
Sidsings000, Youtube
Meninblack, Twitter
Meninblack, Twitter
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Pudabaya, Twitter
Pudabaya, Twitter
Wharto15, Twitter
Wharto15, Twitter
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Leach Juice, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
FBC, finalgear.com
FBC, finalgear.com
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter