Another year, another Edinburgh Fringe. I am on my 21st, and for me the Fringe used to be a fun place, where my own brand of pretentious, experimental stand-up enjoyed no end of effusive reviews, if little or no financial reward. But this year I really need Edinburgh to work out for me in a big way.
Christian protests against the theatre piece I co-wrote, Jerry Springer The Opera, meant I never saw any money from the nine years I spent co-developing it, and was personally responsible for defending myself when I was threatened with imprisonment, defenestration and deportation for blasphemy, running up costly legal bills. A severe illness brought on by stress, resulting in the implementation of a permanent catheter and the amputation of a toe, meant I had to cancel a run at London’s Soho theatre and was left with hefty debt to the promoters. The bank are threatening to take my flat, and because my car was driven over by a tractor full of Evangelicals in Aberdeen, I couldn’t travel to those stand-up gigs that will still take me, despite the threat of prosecution for doing so. It’s nice being thought of as a great artist, but this year I need to hit paydirt!
To this end I’ve booked myself into the biggest, and classiest, venue I’ve ever played – that massive, 300-seater, purple tent in the shape of an upside down cow in Bristo Sqaure – and tried to write the kind of set that will get me on prime time television. My last Edinburgh show was praised for using a deliberately contrived collision of charged sexual, scatological and religious imagery, offset against a self-counsciously mythic narrative, to explore notions of taste, and the way meaning is qualified by context. This year I’ve written a load of stuff about spacehoppers, found a lovely glove puppet of an orange giraffe, and will be ending with a song. Hopefully, I’ll be able to pick up all Peter Kay’s crowd without losing too many of my own. I just hope it works out! Come on Edinburgh. I NEED THIS!
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Anamatronix, Youtube
Anamatronix, Youtube
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Mearecate, Youtube
Mearecate, Youtube
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Al Murray, Comedian
Al Murray, Comedian
Borathigh5, Youtube
Borathigh5, Youtube
Jamespearse, Twitter
Jamespearse, Twitter
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Idrie, Youtube
Idrie, Youtube
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Pudabaya, Twitter
Pudabaya, Twitter
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Hiewy, Youtube
Hiewy, Youtube
Jackmumf, Twitter
Jackmumf, Twitter
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Shit Crit, Twitter
Shit Crit, Twitter
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Richard Herring, Comedian
Richard Herring, Comedian
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Danazawa, Youtube
Danazawa, Youtube
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Funday’schild, youtube.
Funday’schild, youtube.
Len Firewood, Twitter
Len Firewood, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
FBC, finalgear.com
FBC, finalgear.com
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Guest1001, Youtube
Guest1001, Youtube
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Peter Ould, Twitter
Peter Ould, Twitter
Brighton Argus
Brighton Argus
Chez, Chortle.com
Chez, Chortle.com
Peter Ould, Youtube
Peter Ould, Youtube
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Rudeness, Youtube
Rudeness, Youtube
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Keilloh, Twitter
Keilloh, Twitter
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Joycey, readytogo.net
Joycey, readytogo.net
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Peter Fears, Twitter
Peter Fears, Twitter
Bosco239, youtube
Bosco239, youtube
World Without End, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter
Etienne, Chortle.com
Etienne, Chortle.com
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
Wharto15, Twitter
Wharto15, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Sidsings000, Youtube
Sidsings000, Youtube
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Fowkes81, Twitter
Fowkes81, Twitter
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Z-factor, Twitter.
Z-factor, Twitter.
Mpf1947, Youtube
Mpf1947, Youtube
Meninblack, Twitter
Meninblack, Twitter
Tokyofist, Youtube
Tokyofist, Youtube
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
A D Ward, Twitter
A D Ward, Twitter
John Robins, Comedian
John Robins, Comedian
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Kozzy06, Youtube
Kozzy06, Youtube
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Visualiser1, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
GRTak, finalgear.com
GRTak, finalgear.com
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Stuart, Chortle
Stuart, Chortle
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Anon, westhamonline.com
Anon, westhamonline.com