I don’t remember when I saw my first Morris dance. I think it was sometime in the early Seventies. My Mum was working, I wasn’t yet at school, and I spent a lot of time with my grand-dad.
He’d been, or maybe was still, a rep for Colman’s, the Norfolk based mustard company, who had diversified into providing wine and spirits. I have memories, though they may have become semi-fictionalised, of accompanying him to rural events, – hunts, fetes and festivals, – in forgotten places between Birmingham and Norwich, when he was invited by virtue of some commercial connection with the booze supply.
I remember a fuzzy photograph of a brown corduroy, pre-school me with him, watching men in white on a patch of grass, leaping and dancing. I’ve looked for it but I can’t find it. Maybe it never happened. But for me that was where The Morris was filed, for most of my life, in the Seventies memories stash, in the past, something mysterious and beautiful and pastoral, and probably on the way out now, along with butterflies and wild flowers and birds that nest in hedgerows.
But, like some threatened species making a comeback, over the last decade I’ve noticed the morris, and various mutated species of traditional English dance, staging a comeback. At the folk-singer Martin Carthy’s 60th birthday show in Oxford, ten years ago, a morris troupe took the stage before a crowd of thousands, and again, when I saw the Carthy clan gathered at the Royal Albert Hall five year back.
A live art promoter in the village of Hovingham, on the Yorkshire moors, unexpectedly got Damian Barber’s traditional dancers The Black Swan Rappers to open before one of my stand-up comedy shows in the mid-noughties, stunning an initially skeptical crowd with their violent and virile performance.
This year I invited the folk rock band Trembling Bells to appear in a season of music and comedy I was curating at the South Bank center, and they brought with them The Belles Of London City, a new all-female morris trio.
But my fondness for The Morris was sealed six years ago.
My wife and I were married in the Forest of Dean, in her native Gloucestershire. Searching for something significant and local, she had booked the Forest Of Dean Morris Men for the reception, attended by fifty or so people, in a musky woodland cellar. We’d been married in a church that morning.
My wife’s a Catholic, and I am an atheist, but nonetheless I’ll happily admit that the priest gave a great service, and the ritual elements added a real significance to the ceremony. That said, the service did represent for me a compromise I suppose, of the sort one must make in a marriage. I hadn’t expected it, but the appearance of the Morris men that evening somehow squared the circle, and left me feeling that the old gods, too, had been paid their due.
The Forest Of Dean Morris Men came out of the black November night, all in white. They were accompanied by a ‘beast’, in their particular case a man in the costume of a bright red stag, who excited all the young ladies, and intimidated the men.
I normally hate dancing, or being the centre of attention in any way, but I felt no shame as my new wife and I were made to skip in circles round the stone walled cellar, and between and beneath sudden arches made of the morris men’s human hands, while the beast looked on approvingly and clacked its wooden hooves, draped in adoring women, scowled at by their temporarily cuckolded partners.
It’s no exaggeration to say that The Morris made our day, and in the dark times of exhaustion and three a.m. feeds, when the romance of your first meeting seems so far away, we reach back to the symbols we laid in store to give us strength at later dates, and I see The Morris once more.
That’s why, when Radio 2 asked me to narrate It’s Got Bells On, I could not say no. I am for ever in the dance’s debt.
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Jackmumf, Twitter
Jackmumf, Twitter
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Peter Fears, Twitter
Peter Fears, Twitter
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Mearecate, Youtube
Mearecate, Youtube
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
GRTak, finalgear.com
GRTak, finalgear.com
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Borathigh5, Youtube
Borathigh5, Youtube
Hiewy, Youtube
Hiewy, Youtube
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Wharto15, Twitter
Wharto15, Twitter
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Brighton Argus
Brighton Argus
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Al Murray, Comedian
Al Murray, Comedian
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Carcrazychica, Youtube
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
Richard Herring, Comedian
Richard Herring, Comedian
Keilloh, Twitter
Keilloh, Twitter
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Robert Gavin, Twitter
A D Ward, Twitter
A D Ward, Twitter
Guest1001, Youtube
Guest1001, Youtube
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Chez, Chortle.com
Chez, Chortle.com
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
FBC, finalgear.com
FBC, finalgear.com
98rosjon, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
Anon, westhamonline.com
Anon, westhamonline.com
Peter Ould, Youtube
Peter Ould, Youtube
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Pnethor, pne-online.com
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Fowkes81, Twitter
Fowkes81, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Jamespearse, Twitter
Jamespearse, Twitter
Stuart, Chortle
Stuart, Chortle
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Joycey, readytogo.net
Joycey, readytogo.net
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Tokyofist, Youtube
Tokyofist, Youtube
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Kozzy06, Youtube
Kozzy06, Youtube
Meninblack, Twitter
Meninblack, Twitter
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Mpf1947, Youtube
Mpf1947, Youtube
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Peter Ould, Twitter
Peter Ould, Twitter
Pudabaya, Twitter
Pudabaya, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Idrie, Youtube
Idrie, Youtube
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Tin Frog, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Shit Crit, Twitter
Shit Crit, Twitter
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Etienne, Chortle.com
Etienne, Chortle.com
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Len Firewood, Twitter
Len Firewood, Twitter
Rudeness, Youtube
Rudeness, Youtube
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Danazawa, Youtube
Danazawa, Youtube
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
John Robins, Comedian
John Robins, Comedian
Anamatronix, Youtube
Anamatronix, Youtube
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
Z-factor, Twitter.
Z-factor, Twitter.
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Bosco239, youtube
Bosco239, youtube
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Sidsings000, Youtube
Sidsings000, Youtube
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Funday’schild, youtube.
Funday’schild, youtube.